Why does it always seem that when times are tough things always seem to get a little worse? So I suffer from seasonal depression and have for several years. Each winter is a battle against myself. I know if I make it though the rest of the year will be better, but... it is so hard. So I am struggling through 2nd worst winter in Wisconsin history, insane amounts of snow and bitterly cold temperatures. This is also my first winter as a mother of 2. That should stop me from thinking the things that I think... but it doesn't. That kills me. I love my children more than anything and know that at least my older daughter would be devastated if I "left", but somehow it doesn't stop me from contemplating it. What does that say about me? So maybe I won't make my eternal exit, perhaps I could just do a little cutting? No, my husband knows to check for that this time of year... he knows me all to well. The only other way for me to deal is to cuddle up with my good friend Jameson, but that's a whole other can of worms. So now I'm stuck here, wherever that may be. Feeling lonely as ever, even though I am surrounded by loving family and friends. Hopeless... I know spring will be back eventually, but will it be soon enough. The light at the end of the tunnel is just never bright enough to give me hope. The hard times are so hard... does it really make the ok times worth it. Knowing that every year I will struggle with this cold weathered demon kills me. My thoughts are so random lately... that should be obvious to all that read this. Well, I'm here today... tomorrow?