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When fear is holding you back
- Thread starter puffymilk
- Start date
When I read your post I thought about the effects of imposter syndrome.
You could be afraid of failure or feeling like you aren’t “good” enough.
I have also dealt with feeling like once I succeed then death or doom would follow. So instead I was afraid to put forth my full potential.
If you try to pinpoint as best you can, as to why you may be feeling scared, maybe you can accept those fears, understand how/when they were birthed, then learn to move forward with them. Look at them as motivation instead of obstacles.
Your fears coexisting with all your great attributes. Bring those great attributes to the forefront. Positive self-talk and self-encouragement. It may not be the most perfect coping strategy but hopefully it can help you overcome the stagnation or procrastination more often.
I wish you the best at figuring out how to cope with your fears.
You could be afraid of failure or feeling like you aren’t “good” enough.
I have also dealt with feeling like once I succeed then death or doom would follow. So instead I was afraid to put forth my full potential.
If you try to pinpoint as best you can, as to why you may be feeling scared, maybe you can accept those fears, understand how/when they were birthed, then learn to move forward with them. Look at them as motivation instead of obstacles.
Your fears coexisting with all your great attributes. Bring those great attributes to the forefront. Positive self-talk and self-encouragement. It may not be the most perfect coping strategy but hopefully it can help you overcome the stagnation or procrastination more often.
I wish you the best at figuring out how to cope with your fears.
I agree with a lot of points by oizy moros. I kind of shared / share similar what you're experiencing
Ahm , I think with experience and my knowledge that fear of failure is the reason. It narrows down to this. I think knowing that the world's not gonna end if you fail , if you're gonna plan forever you won't be able to live and most importantly " do you even want what you think you want"
For example - you're stressing about exams because you've been told you would be doomed if you fail. Is that really true or is that the truth you have been fed which is making you stress about them ? I hope that makes sense. Yea.
Ahm , I think with experience and my knowledge that fear of failure is the reason. It narrows down to this. I think knowing that the world's not gonna end if you fail , if you're gonna plan forever you won't be able to live and most importantly " do you even want what you think you want"
For example - you're stressing about exams because you've been told you would be doomed if you fail. Is that really true or is that the truth you have been fed which is making you stress about them ? I hope that makes sense. Yea.
Yes, this is exactly me. In this alleged timeline I ruined the chance to salvage and cobble together some kind of better-than-nothing by spending, by this time-whatever's rules, decades- DECADES- locked into my head.
I must earnestly advise to willingly start exposing yourself to what you're afraid of expressly as an exercise. You can start small and controlled, and slowly increase as you gain comfort. You can still stay safe while doing so, too, and that's where the fear you feel now is a good thing; use it to control how you bring those fears on yourself.
I must earnestly advise to willingly start exposing yourself to what you're afraid of expressly as an exercise. You can start small and controlled, and slowly increase as you gain comfort. You can still stay safe while doing so, too, and that's where the fear you feel now is a good thing; use it to control how you bring those fears on yourself.
I need to add: One of the biggest reasons that I waste everything, leading to this outcome, when I could potentially have *something*, is because at the crossroads of almost all my fear is being afraid to tell when I'm afraid.
You are already better than this, by posting this post. Keep it up. Even when you're afraid to tell anyone you're afraid. Tell them.
You are already better than this, by posting this post. Keep it up. Even when you're afraid to tell anyone you're afraid. Tell them.
Thanks guys. I think other than fear depression was also the cause of me holding my life back. I feel much better now (never 100% because that's just how life is), and I guess what I need to do now, though it sounds like I'm taking this lightly, sorry if I do come across that way, is to just stop being afraid and just do it anyway.
oizy and iwe ( short form of his username )shared some really deep , good insights. 
When I was 25 or something, I was afraid of everything - of the unknown, distance and of other people. What liberated me was: I started to do something against my anxiety physically (Judo). The moment I learned to defend myself (and I got really good) - all changed. I forced myself to travel. And made it. Today I live in foreign countries - and will not return. Fear is paralyzing. I do not know exactly how you can overcome it - but you can.
Fear walks with us all. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and many more fears than can be listed.
Fear is contradicted by faith and trust in something greater than us. We will make mistakes and fail before we learn. It happens to us all. Put your faith into knowledge and understanding. Feel the fear and go ahead with the task knowing that if it don't work well at first it will with practice. Hope for the best and let fear go in favor of trust.
Fear is contradicted by faith and trust in something greater than us. We will make mistakes and fail before we learn. It happens to us all. Put your faith into knowledge and understanding. Feel the fear and go ahead with the task knowing that if it don't work well at first it will with practice. Hope for the best and let fear go in favor of trust.
As it was and continues to be such a big problem for me I can relate. Some things that help
1. Challenge the fearful thoughts with evidence i.e. the basis of a lot of pyschotherapy for anxiety.
2. A more practical for minor fears at least is to set things up so that you are "forced to" make a choice/commit. e.g. minor examples : "I have to go this class as i've paid the fee cleared that day for it - actually more hassle to cancel" ,"You need to rpactice guitar as you already taken it out of the holder and your notes are open" - more major choice "(me circa 2017) There is job offer waiting to be signed and you haven't got anything else in the pipeline - it would be more stressfull to cancel and stay on the dole"
1. Challenge the fearful thoughts with evidence i.e. the basis of a lot of pyschotherapy for anxiety.
2. A more practical for minor fears at least is to set things up so that you are "forced to" make a choice/commit. e.g. minor examples : "I have to go this class as i've paid the fee cleared that day for it - actually more hassle to cancel" ,"You need to rpactice guitar as you already taken it out of the holder and your notes are open" - more major choice "(me circa 2017) There is job offer waiting to be signed and you haven't got anything else in the pipeline - it would be more stressfull to cancel and stay on the dole"