Who else has an eating disorder that isn't derived from superficial reasons?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Ladybugaboo, Jan 2, 2013.

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  1. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    I'm unable to empathize nor understand other anorectics who say they're anorexic (due to low self-esteem) because they solely want to be thin and beautiful.

    My suffering goes deeper than that... Please, let me know that I'm not the only one..
  2. lookingforsalvation

    lookingforsalvation New Member

    I sometimes stop feeling hungry for days and I can't eat without feeling like throwing up. I don't want to be skinny or beautiful, it just happens,specially when i'm depressive or something like that.
  3. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    No one has an eating disorder simply because they want to be thin and pretty. That is only an outward symptom. Even if they don't let on their real reasons (they may not even be aware of them) they have a similar pain to yours. Think about it, could someone really do that to themselves just to be skinny? That may be a superficial reason but the real reasons are always deeper than that. So you are definitely not the only person with an eating disorder who is going through that.
  4. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    Emotions are hard to convey through text... you seemed patronizing so I wanted to apologize to anyone reading this if I offended you... I never meant it that way... Nobody understands what I'm going through, and I just had a bad day... Somehow I'm everyone's enemy... what did I ever do to deserve this pain... :blub:
  5. Anonanon

    Anonanon New Member

    Your post struck a chord with me. You did nothing, NOTHING to deserve what you're feeling. Believe, I went through something similar. I began saying to myself "I never had a chance in life. I tried so hard, but I will always suffer like this." I starved myself because of what I was feeling on the inside. I believe many anorexics feel like this. I mean this as a reply to your original post. Not just a reply but a cry of pain along with yours. I send love and hope.
  6. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member

    Dear Ladybugaboo,

    No one deserves to be in emotional pain. And we all deal with it differently. Process addictions like ED's and SH are, like all addictions, are ways to fill the void or darkness inside of us--a way to try and stem the hurt or give it an outlet away from us. No one asks for it and in the end, ED's have nothing to do with food. They have everything to do with pain. That is why 12 step groups, therapy, DBT, etc can help as we learn to face these hurts and heal ourselves through connection to ourselves, others and sometimes a higher power. We have to heal from the inside out to truly overcome ED's and other addictions. That starts with connection to others and learning slowly to reach out for help and accept help. To begin to look within for answers to the problems on the outside. It can be done.

    Everybody hurts some time. Some people just handle it differently...
    No one deserves to hurt. But so very many of us do. We can never compare ourselves to anyone else and do them, or ourselves, justice. So just don't even try.
    We are all searching for some sort of peace and love and health...

    Best wishes in your own journey...
  7. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    Thank you both for your kindness and understanding. I wish the people in my life showed the same consideration for me as you both did...
  8. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member

    kindness and understanding....those you definitely Do deserve!

  9. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    Thank you! :hug: So do you and everyone else. xxx
  10. melosine

    melosine Active Member

    When I am depressed, I don't eat at all. Does that count? I lose a lot of weight because of it.
  11. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    you spoke from intense pain. This is what you are feeling. Perhaps that depth of agony and isolation. EDs are excruciatingly painful. No need to feel bad about what you posted. I do think there are varying degrees of how someone is gripped by an eating disorder. So I understand what you were saying. The way I would put it is there are varying degrees of how much the ED owns the persons thoughts and actions. It is a very cruel and decietful master. Please try to be gentle with yourself. I know that may sound impossible. Still I wanted to say it. :rose: :hug:
  12. soapymongoose

    soapymongoose Well-Known Member

    I've always wanted to destroy myself. An eating disorder kind of evolved out of that. It seems logical now. It seems pretty natural too, kind of like my body has naturally figured out the best way of causing sustainable, tangible damage, whilst maintaining the ability to cover it all up at the same time.

    I convinced myself for a few years I had a serious problem with fatness. Never wanted to be it, was disgusted by its very existence. But that was just a convenient "voice", much the same as "It's because I need to be pretty" is for a girl I think. The real reason is self abuse, and the reasons I'm self abusive is because that's what I'm used to, and the reason I'm used to it is because..... It's just one large cycle. Exasperating.
  13. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I personally hate myself way too much to eat. I would not give myself that satisfaction. I am dirt and I deserve dirt. I am not worthy of food
  14. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    soapymongoose & flowers :hug: you're both beautiful inside & out.

    It makes me sad that we're all on the same boat. Sending positive vibes to everyone. xxx
  15. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    i don't have a recognized eating disorder, though i do have problems with food- from starving myself a couple years back.

    i've never been able to eat normally because of it
  16. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I didn't think you were trying to offend anyone and I wasn't trying to be rude with my response. But it is pretty much a fact that people who struggle with EDs aren't doing it simply to be skinny. Each person who has an ED has their own personal struggles they are going through that lead them to the conclusion that an ED is the best way for them to deal with their problems. Of course most people don't think about it that way in the midst of their struggle, but it is the truth. Anyone who truly has an ED and says they are doing it to be skinny or perfect or whatever, isn't being honest with themselves. There is an underlying reason(s) that lead them to develop an eating disorder.
  17. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    It's good to know I wasn't in deep trouble for my post. I was in a vulnerable state at that moment, and tend to get easily hurt whenever I get like that.. :behindsofa:

    I appreciate everyone who commented. I feel less alone dealing with my ED. Thank you all.
  18. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    you are not alone :) Even when it feels like you are. And I DO know how it can feel that way. ((((((Safe hug for you Bugaboo))))))
  19. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    For me it's about control, controlling what i put in my mouth and when I exercise.
  20. Ladybugaboo

    Ladybugaboo Well-Known Member

    Control – that's one of the things I wanted too. Now my ED is spiralling out of control and I'm beginning to lose my grip. I know I should ask for help but I'm afraid recovery will take away my independence and it'll be over for me – I won't be free; I'll remain stuck, a hopeless failure. It may seem foolish to some people... it's like... being underweight makes me feel invincible and capable of doing anything. At a normal weight, nothing is enhanced, nothing changes and it'll never ever change. Does anyone else feel this way about their ED?
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