I'm not smart, pretty, thin, or talented. I don't really understand how to communicate with people. The only person I really talk to outside my family is a girl I hate. Not to mention, I talk to people that live under my bed. I know they're not real, but they make me feel better. All I do now is watch anime or porn to block out my frustration. I cry so often that my eyes are perpetually swollen. Sometimes I think that suicide is just a big door in the back of my mind. I'm standing right outside it, but I misplaced the key so I can't open it. I'm too cowardly to open it. People tell you things to correct this way of thinking, but I read all of the self-help books I can handle. None of that comforts me anymore. It's steadily getting harder to take my mind off of the bad things. I feel like a piece of garbage.