The trigger of my contemplating this is about the ex boyfriend I wrote about in a different thread just a few minutes ago. He was my first love and I still love him...boo. Anyway, he had to go to the hospital a few days ago because he took a bunch of pills. He wanted to die...and I fell apart. He doesn't even know that I know about it. I have wondering why I exist many times before. I used to be very depressed. But recently I moved out, got a nice job, am going to school...staying single hoping I fall for someone whos NOT him. But after he went to the hospital I am back to questioning my life. I just really don't understand why we are here. I don't know if I believe in God . And even if I did...why did he even create us? Why are we on the earth? I'm just super confused and feel like my life is unimportant. But for some reason I pull myself out of bed everyday and keep on living this stupid life. WHY?