Why can't I ever feel okay?

[iloverachel]

I have done everything the GP, therapists, psychologists have told me. I have used resources from this website as well as reading online about what steps need to be taken.

Yet I never feel okay. Not even asking to feel great or happy. Just okay.

I don't think I have felt okay for many years. What am I doing wrong

 

[CrossedSeas]

I don’t have any answers, but I’m truly sorry you’re suffering so much and for so long. It’s difficult when you’ve tried so many things and still can’t find that place of feeling OK
I say this because I’m often hard on myself, but I hope you aren’t blaming yourself because it’s difficult. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing something wrong. It sounds like you just haven’t found what works for you yet or what YOU need. If it’s helpful to hear, I really hope you do and will find that. You certainly deserve it.

 

[Windhover]

@iloverachel do you mean there were no happier times to compare with, or that there were some better times but they're gone?

 

[iloverachel]

@iloverachel do you mean there were no happier times to compare with, or that there were some better times but they're gone?

The happier and better times are looonnnng gone
I would be content with just days where I feel okay and don't suffer

 

[Lady Wolfshead]

Have you checked out Stoicism? I have found it to be incredibly healing. I follow Ryan Holiday who has free videos on Youtube about it and has written numerous books. Many people find the philosophy helpful in dealing with depression.

One thing I love about Stoicism is that the goal of life is not "happiness." In stoicism living a life of virtue is the goal, and fulfilment is found through that. You don't have to feel normal or good. You don't have to have anyone's approval or compare yourself to other people.

 

[TragicReality]

All I can feel or say is I'm sorry, and I wish I knew the answer. I see you here and notice your posts you are a kind compassionate person who cares for others. I think maybe some of us are more sensitive and less hardened to life. There's many callous people who wouldn't care what someone else is going through.... so at least give yourself credit for having empathy and understanding of suffering. I'm sorry if no help, I've not slept in nights.

 

[nicktheundoer]

I have done everything the GP, therapists, psychologists have told me. I have used resources from this website as well as reading online about what steps need to be taken.

Yet I never feel okay. Not even asking to feel great or happy. Just okay.

I don't think I have felt okay for many years. What am I doing wrong

🫠🫠
We're all going through some troubles..I think in this brokenness that we can connect and relate with each other..Thank you..we can overcome all this..freedom to us..hugssss

 

[nicktheundoer]

The happier and better times are looonnnng gone
I would be content with just days where I feel okay and don't suffer

🥺

 

[iloverachel]

Have you checked out Stoicism? I have found it to be incredibly healing. I follow Ryan Holiday who has free videos on Youtube about it and has written numerous books. Many people find the philosophy helpful in dealing with depression.

One thing I love about Stoicism is that the goal of life is not "happiness." In stoicism living a life of virtue is the goal, and fulfilment is found through that. You don't have to feel normal or good. You don't have to have anyone's approval or compare yourself to other people.

I have read a bit about it. I'll look into it further

Thank you everyone who replied
You have made my day much better

 

[Tottakai]

I have done everything the GP, therapists, psychologists have told me. I have used resources from this website as well as reading online about what steps need to be taken.

Yet I never feel okay. Not even asking to feel great or happy. Just okay.

I don't think I have felt okay for many years. What am I doing wrong

have you tried to lay down, relax all your muscles, including facial muscles, eyebrows, mouth, tongue, etc.. everything. put a pillow under your neck, so your head will lower down. then focus on relaxing all your muscles, every muscle. then focus on your brain, and try to think to relax the center of your brain, you can do that by thinking that a sphere is coming out of the middle of your brain outwards, more spheres and more... expanding feeling from your brain. imagine an explosion comes from insides of your brain and goes to infinity from there outwards. continuous waves of expansion. at same time imagine you see everything around you, beyond your room. imagine how you see the neighborhood around you. remember to relax your whole body while doing this. its important to have your pillow etc on the neck, or you cant truly relax the mouth muscles. its important to have the tongue relaxed.

now when you have done all that, focus in the middle of your forehead, between your eyes, remember the sensation that you get when you put a pen between your eyes? focus on that feeling. concentrate to that feeling and try to make it stronger, try to make the feeling to reach inside of the center of your brain, and after that focus on the top of your head, channel that feeling there. feel the energy? imagine you throw all negative energy out of yourself from the top of your head, and at same time you take energy into yourself from the middle of your eyes/forehead (the pen feeling). then imagine you recycle that energy so that you take energy into yourself from the middle of eyes, push it out from your top of head, and that energy goes back to your middle of eyes/forehead. repeat that and at the same time still try to feel the weird feeling a pen gives when you move it it between your eyes/forehead and try to make it feel deeper in your middle of the brain.

let me know how it works. it works for me

dont try to think to become happier, just try to think to recycle the energy.

there are more to that, than the top of the head and the middle of the eyes.

 

[iloverachel]

have you tried to lay down, relax all your muscles, including facial muscles, eyebrows, mouth, tongue, etc.. everything. put a pillow under your neck, so your head will lower down. then focus on relaxing all your muscles, every muscle. then focus on your brain, and try to think to relax the center of your brain, you can do that by thinking that a sphere is coming out of the middle of your brain outwards, more spheres and more... expanding feeling from your brain. imagine an explosion comes from insides of your brain and goes to infinity from there outwards. continuous waves of expansion. at same time imagine you see everything around you, beyond your room. imagine how you see the neighborhood around you. remember to relax your whole body while doing this. its important to have your pillow etc on the neck, or you cant truly relax the mouth muscles. its important to have the tongue relaxed.

now when you have done all that, focus in the middle of your forehead, between your eyes, remember the sensation that you get when you put a pen between your eyes? focus on that feeling. concentrate to that feeling and try to make it stronger, try to make the feeling to reach inside of the center of your brain, and after that focus on the top of your head, channel that feeling there. feel the energy? imagine you throw all negative energy out of yourself from the top of your head, and at same time you take energy into yourself from the middle of your eyes/forehead (the pen feeling). then imagine you recycle that energy so that you take energy into yourself from the middle of eyes, push it out from your top of head, and that energy goes back to your middle of eyes/forehead. repeat that and at the same time still try to feel the weird feeling a pen gives when you move it it between your eyes/forehead and try to make it feel deeper in your middle of the brain.

let me know how it works. it works for me

dont try to think to become happier, just try to think to recycle the energy.

there are more to that, than the top of the head and the middle of the eyes.

Thank you for sharing, i will give this a try

Glad it works for you

 

[Astrid78]

I understand how it is @iloverachel ,it seems I've done all I can and it gets very discouraging. Hope you can find something soon.

 

[iloverachel]

I understand how it is @iloverachel ,it seems I've done all I can and it gets very discouraging. Hope you can find something soon.

Thank you for always being so kind to me and others on this forum. I hope you find more happiness, peace, and joy in life because you definitely deserve it

 

[Lekatt]

There are no shortcuts to feeling good about yourself, but it is possible by changing your thoughts. There is a link below "Changing Thoughts" that explains it all. The winning secret is never give up on the affirmations. Do them daily until hell freezes over.

 

[Tottakai]

Thank you for sharing, i will give this a try

Glad it works for you

how did it work?

 

[iloverachel]

how did it work?

I feel a bit more calm and less anxious
Thanks a lot

 

[Tottakai]

I feel a bit more calm and less anxious
Thanks a lot

nice. and that is just the beginning. you can develop that skill a lot further. do it every day before going to sleep. try to master the skill.

in the end... you might feel the god feeling, meaning you are loved by god and you love everyone... that is nice. felt it once myself.

 

[Tottakai]

i made whole new thread about this:
https://www.suicideforum.com/commun...s-if-you-feel-suicidal-and-or-anxious.176727/

 

[Astrid78]

How are things going?
Hugs @iloverachel

 

[iloverachel]

How are things going?
Hugs @iloverachel

It's been okay still struggling but thanks for asking
How are things going with you ?