Why do bullies act the way they do?

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by snarrylover, Jan 27, 2013.

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  1. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    I was just thinking back to some things that happened to me in High School. I wasn't bullied as much as other people are, but there was always this one girl who always liked to make a comment when she saw me. It was always something nasty, and one day I said something back to her, and suddenly she got angry and was all "you what? what did you say to me? I'm gonna get you for that."

    I just don't get it, and bullies seem to be all the same. They say things to you but the moment you say something back, or defend yourself, they act like you're the one that's started something and you need to pay for it.

    I was bullied at work as well, but everyone turned against me. I got really angry that nothing was ever being done about it and walked out and after that I was seen as unstable which made everyone side with the bullies. I ended up quitting.

    I don't get what goes through the minds of these people.
  2. Crimson Tears

    Crimson Tears Active Member

    They like a sense of power over others.
    When people don't say anything back, it makes them feel real strong and powerful so they keep doing it. When someone does decides to say something back, they feel threatened by it and react the way they do in an attempted to make you back down and let them continue bulling you.

    Ever wondered why their targets are normally either quiet, unpopular, not so bright, teachers pet, brainy or people lacking confidence? The don't see those people ever standing up for themselves which makes them very easy to bully and intimidate.
    Some do it just to build up a reputation to make people fear them for some bizarre reason.

    Bullies are just sick twisted people that get off on abusing others, why else would they do it?
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I think they are either insecure themselves, and like to make themselves feel better by making someone else feel small...or maybe they are just assholes. Either way, you can't let their opinions get you down, because they are unfounded. I was bullied all the time in school, but you just can't let people have that kind of power over you.
  4. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    It's not their opinions that get to me, it's the unfairness of it all really. It angers and upsets me.

    There was a boy in High School who was bullied so much that he had to move school. But because the popular kids bullied him it became the thing to do and everyone used to laugh whenever he was mentioned. It was so awful and I can't imgine what he felt like. You have to be an awful human being to find that entertaining, but these awful people are the ones with lots of friends and good looks - the kind of people who, when they die, people will say how lovely and social they were because the people close to them can't see their massive flaws.

    I actually looked that guy who was bullied at school up on facebook. Looks like he's got a lot of friends now and an amazing career in computer technology. I guess some people get their karma :)
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    A good movie to watch that might help with some understanding of human nature is a film based off a book, "Lord of the Flies." (see the original in black and white)

    When I was a kid in school, a lot longer back than for most of you, that was required viewing in school. We had bully issues, but nowhere near what it is like in schools today. What amazes me about all this is that back in my day, people were less aware of and less accepting of things like race, disabilities, sexual orientation, etc., and yet in today's more open and accepting world, there seems to be a larger bully issue.

    Go figure...
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    With more acceptance and more 'divisions' through society, there's a wider scope for bullies to get their hands on to utilise in such a way. It's sickening to think about.

    I have 2 older brothers, and they along with others have given me verbal abuse for so long, it's made me laugh a lot of it off. And that's probably where I have a tough stance when it comes to people complaining about it, because they generally allow it to consume them instead of laughing off how pathetic it sounds - yes - i'm 28, not 13. It takes me back to my last year of school where I had a lad (and he was darker skinned than most in the group there), who turned fairly spitefully to say 'We're not laughing with you G - we're laughing AT you.' - directly, at me. I laughed at his futile attempts to be nasty, and someone else told him he'd got it wrong - and that he was being laughed at because of his feeble verbal bullying attempt.

    Now yes, I might seem a bit 'blunt' and forgetful of 'emotional side' to it, but I have enough experience to understand what verbal bullying is like, and what can be done by an individual to prevent it being damaging. And that's where my tough approach comes from. Quoting Witty_Sarcasm...

  7. Kirovski22

    Kirovski22 Active Member

    I find quite a lot of bullies are narcisstic. They are usually overconfident about themselves which is probably why they have the balls to be horrible to someone. I was bullied at primary school and high school but could never figure out why. My bullies had good lives, got what they wanted, always had the new "in thing", got high grades etc. I was told by my parents that they are just jealous of me but I couldn't think why. I was happy, friendly, got average grades and just wanted a happy existence. Then again perhaps it was because of this that they did it I don't know. Eventually it got to the point where I was crying every night, the teachers were informed and I was forced to see a councillor but what stopped the high school bully is that I stood up to her, asked her what the hell her problem was and tried to find out everything that was wrong and we reached a mutual understanding. We were then absolutly fine with each other for the rest of my high school years
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