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Why penis size and looks is a major issue for me and always will be

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RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#1
The reality is I've been average/below average and I've never had the looks quite down even though I've kept myself in decent shape. I will never get over these aspects no matter how much money I have I know she would be with em for the money/success and I'd still be upset. I just hate how genetics have screwed me and many people over so when I hear that confidence is key or working on your purpose is what's important, that is bs when it comes to sex if your penis is inadequate or you have PED. I do not know where to get help regarding this in the greater Toronto area, but this is something that'll never change for me no matter if I'm married or have a happy relationship.
 

Auri

🎸🎼Rock Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
You said it yourself, it's genetics, you don't get to choose it or you can't work for it... So why do you think it would be glorious if someone was with you for your looks? or your penis size?

Women who seek men with a certain size are not women you'd want to be with. They're not very brilliant. In fact, they're also quite rare. Most women do not care about your penis size, that is not how love works.

Confidence is a good thing to meet people in general, people are more drawn to you if you're pretty positive rather than silent or complaining about yourself, that's just the reality. It doesn't mean you need to fake confidence either. The thing is to be naturally confident because you know that you are worth it, because of your personality, your experience, and many other things that matter. Not over-confident, just more or less confident.

Having a purpose and working on it is great, it is important for you, for your wellbeing, mental health and survival in society. If you do it for someone else, I can see why it doesn't make you happy, perhaps it isn't the right purpose.
 

Sleeper71

Well-Known Member
#3
The reality is I've been average/below average and I've never had the looks quite down even though I've kept myself in decent shape. I will never get over these aspects no matter how much money I have I know she would be with em for the money/success and I'd still be upset. I just hate how genetics have screwed me and many people over so when I hear that confidence is key or working on your purpose is what's important, that is bs when it comes to sex if your penis is inadequate or you have PED. I do not know where to get help regarding this in the greater Toronto area, but this is something that'll never change for me no matter if I'm married or have a happy relationship.
You know I get this. No matter how hard I work out or how much weight I lose or whatever it is I try to do to better myself physically, I will always only see the negatives about me and that’s what I will dwell on. Which in turns affects my mental health because I’m depressed that all I see is the ugliness in me.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#4
The reality is I've been average/below average and I've never had the looks quite down even though I've kept myself in decent shape. I will never get over these aspects no matter how much money I have I know she would be with em for the money/success and I'd still be upset. I just hate how genetics have screwed me and many people over so when I hear that confidence is key or working on your purpose is what's important, that is bs when it comes to sex if your penis is inadequate or you have PED. I do not know where to get help regarding this in the greater Toronto area, but this is something that'll never change for me no matter if I'm married or have a happy relationship.
I think confidence in sex comes from the ability to satisfy your partner. Which has nothing to do with penis size for most women.

But I do understand not being okay with a part of yourself. It's hard to accept things like that. But accepting things you can't change and working on confidence is definitely something a therapist could help with. You could probably find a therapist who has experience specifically with sex-related issues as well. I'm not Canadian so I can't help you there, but Toronto is a decent sized city so I imagine there must be options.

*hug There is so much more to you, and you are worth so much just for being you.
 

Lady Wolfshead

"Don't fear mistakes. There are none." Miles Davis
#5
Warning: some of this may be TMI for some people.

I won't say that these aren't real issues because they are, and I think the issue of penis size is more of an issue of perception/common beliefs than experience. There are actually very few nerve endings in the vagina and the sensations are actually strongest in the first/lowest few inches. Also the vagina is a "virtual space" and the walls normally rest against each other, so even the smallest penis will "fill" the space. From my own experience and talking to other women, it sometimes gives more sensation if a male partner thrusts in a kind of circular movement (or basically wiggles a bit) rather than the straight in-and-out motion that is usually thought of as intercourse. Which makes sense since the internal structure of the clitoris actually wraps around the lower vagina.

And of course foreplay is important. Very, very important. There are tons of articles online about how to do it right. Believe me you will be a better lover than most men if you educate yourself, regardless of size. And ASK what your partner enjoys. Unfortunately it usually falls on the male partner to be a "good lover" since men achieve orgasm from intercourse more easily than women do. It is very important that both members of a couple achieve orgasm.

As for looks, it's tough, but just remember that tastes vary a LOT, and you only have to find one person who thinks you are attractive. What the majority thinks doesn't matter. Confidence is very appealing in a man, as is success.

Best wishes to you.
 

RedTerminator13

Well-Known Member
#6
Warning: some of this may be TMI for some people.

I won't say that these aren't real issues because they are, and I think the issue of penis size is more of an issue of perception/common beliefs than experience. There are actually very few nerve endings in the vagina and the sensations are actually strongest in the first/lowest few inches. Also the vagina is a "virtual space" and the walls normally rest against each other, so even the smallest penis will "fill" the space. From my own experience and talking to other women, it sometimes gives more sensation if a male partner thrusts in a kind of circular movement (or basically wiggles a bit) rather than the straight in-and-out motion that is usually thought of as intercourse. Which makes sense since the internal structure of the clitoris actually wraps around the lower vagina.

And of course foreplay is important. Very, very important. There are tons of articles online about how to do it right. Believe me you will be a better lover than most men if you educate yourself, regardless of size. And ASK what your partner enjoys. Unfortunately it usually falls on the male partner to be a "good lover" since men achieve orgasm from intercourse more easily than women do. It is very important that both members of a couple achieve orgasm.

As for looks, it's tough, but just remember that tastes vary a LOT, and you only have to find one person who thinks you are attractive. What the majority thinks doesn't matter. Confidence is very appealing in a man, as is success.

Best wishes to you.
Hi Lady Wolfshead, thank you for your reply and your personal input regarding your experience.

I would say I am very good at foreplay as I've understood I have to compensate for my lack of endowment and it is something I enjoy. What I am most worried about and I am working on is my ED and lack of lasting during sex. I am trying to implement no porn & no-masturbation that has plagued me throughout my adolescence so hopefully the ED will be cured. My past experience with sex I cannot penetrate unless I am absolutely hard due to the size but I feel a lot of stimulation that it isn't easy.

I am confident, I just know I am not attractive and I'm not sure I can live my whole life with blind confidence each and every day so I am always seen as a strong male figure.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#8
Hi Lady Wolfshead, thank you for your reply and your personal input regarding your experience.

I would say I am very good at foreplay as I've understood I have to compensate for my lack of endowment and it is something I enjoy. What I am most worried about and I am working on is my ED and lack of lasting during sex. I am trying to implement no porn & no-masturbation that has plagued me throughout my adolescence so hopefully the ED will be cured. My past experience with sex I cannot penetrate unless I am absolutely hard due to the size but I feel a lot of stimulation that it isn't easy.

I am confident, I just know I am not attractive and I'm not sure I can live my whole life with blind confidence each and every day so I am always seen as a strong male figure.
The break in masturbation might help. I know sometimes guys get to the point where they've sort of gotten themselves used to overstimulation. Have you talked to a doctor to make sure nothing medical is going on?

It's not about blind confidence. It's about general confidence and ease with who you are. That's what's attractive. This is just one part of you, ya know? So if you can just work on not concentrating on that part of you when you think about yourself or about potential partners, that'll go a long way toward both feeling and seeming comfortable with yourself.
 
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