Why should we live?
- Thread starter jighuiynmei
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I'm not sure if I can describe it any better than to say that if you do get effective treatment, you'll be glad that you did. The reason why you should get it will only become clear to you after you get it.
You've had a lot of horrible experiences. I'm sorry these things happened. It's understandable that you have the negative feelings that you do about society.
I guess if you see the world as horrible, that is also an argument for why good people are needed to stay in it, so as to make it less horrible.
You've had a lot of horrible experiences. I'm sorry these things happened. It's understandable that you have the negative feelings that you do about society.
I guess if you see the world as horrible, that is also an argument for why good people are needed to stay in it, so as to make it less horrible.
@jighuiynmei
There are many different answers to your question. And all those different answers are good if they are constructive.
Also each person's reasons for suicidality are different. Mine was different than yours. Whereas yours is a search for meaning, mine was despair because I was constantly stymied in trying to reach a particular goal. But this forum taught me to keep persevering. So finally after a 10-year struggle I finally achieved my goal this past December which I had already posted about in a different thread. What I had thought was impossible came true. My toughest problem got solved. At the same time you can say that my Ultimate Dream came true. So blood and sweat pays off.
As far as to find meaning, it's different for each individual. It does not have to be religion at all. Because even Atheists are happy. How you find meaning is to find something that resonates with you.
There are many different answers to your question. And all those different answers are good if they are constructive.
Also each person's reasons for suicidality are different. Mine was different than yours. Whereas yours is a search for meaning, mine was despair because I was constantly stymied in trying to reach a particular goal. But this forum taught me to keep persevering. So finally after a 10-year struggle I finally achieved my goal this past December which I had already posted about in a different thread. What I had thought was impossible came true. My toughest problem got solved. At the same time you can say that my Ultimate Dream came true. So blood and sweat pays off.
As far as to find meaning, it's different for each individual. It does not have to be religion at all. Because even Atheists are happy. How you find meaning is to find something that resonates with you.
I went from feeling terrible, yet not having an desire to get better, to feeling pretty good much of the time, and being glad to be alive.
That's not to say that there isn't a lot about my life that's difficult, and every once in a while I'll catch my self mumbling "I hate my life", or even "I hate people", but I've had treatment and lifestyle changes that have helped, and I've also developed some perspective and skills that help me deal with life
That's not to say that there isn't a lot about my life that's difficult, and every once in a while I'll catch my self mumbling "I hate my life", or even "I hate people", but I've had treatment and lifestyle changes that have helped, and I've also developed some perspective and skills that help me deal with life
That's the age old question, isn't it? What is our purpose. I spun myself in circles searching for my purpose. Searching for meaning, for a reason, for some why. I never found the grand answer. What I discovered was I was asking the wrong questions. Instead I needed to be searching for is what thing can I do to make my life better today. Not in some cliche way, or some bumper sticker, but in a real way. I can take a shower, make the coffee, text someone, write a letter. I make cards for strangers. I started changing my life once piece at a time. I'm still alone. I still struggle with depression, anxiety and a host of other things, but life's better now.
What's my point? I'm me and you're you. What do I know about your life? How dare I make it sound so easy? Well, it's not easy. It's tough as nails. I've fallen down and nearly given up more times than I can count. I don't know you're story. I do know that the things people think make life full, and make it worthwhile may in fact not be the thing.
Does medication and therapy help? Sure. It has it's place. Does talking to people and beating your head against the wall trying to find a friend help? Maybe. Does getting out of the house help? I'm sure it does (this would be a do as I say not as I do, so take that as you will). All I know for sure is that what helps is doing something. The more we sit in what's got us tied in knots, the more we focus on that thing and run in circles trying to fix it or understand it or solve it asking all the whys in the world, the more we remain stuck int he same place we started. So, my life has no purpose and I'm completely okay with that.
What's my point? I'm me and you're you. What do I know about your life? How dare I make it sound so easy? Well, it's not easy. It's tough as nails. I've fallen down and nearly given up more times than I can count. I don't know you're story. I do know that the things people think make life full, and make it worthwhile may in fact not be the thing.
Does medication and therapy help? Sure. It has it's place. Does talking to people and beating your head against the wall trying to find a friend help? Maybe. Does getting out of the house help? I'm sure it does (this would be a do as I say not as I do, so take that as you will). All I know for sure is that what helps is doing something. The more we sit in what's got us tied in knots, the more we focus on that thing and run in circles trying to fix it or understand it or solve it asking all the whys in the world, the more we remain stuck int he same place we started. So, my life has no purpose and I'm completely okay with that.
Hi @jighuiynmei It's understandable to feel the way you do. I think sometimes we try to search an objective reason to live. But there are only subjective reasons. You have to decide what your reason is. For me the reason is to help people. What do you want your reason for living to be?
Very nice insight! This is such a positive outlook, it’s very admirable. I’m so glad you’re able to see life like this still 
.
Thank you for your response!
.Thank you for your response!
As to what our purpose is, it's unique for every single person.
Thank you for your response! It’s a really weird question, I think maybe for everyone the answer is different. But It’s comforting to hear that you agree how isolating that situation is. Thank you for your well wishes, and I hope you feel better too, and I’m so sorry you’ve had similar horrible experiences and or thoughts 
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thanks
What I am trying to emphasize is that you cannot question the meaningfulness of meaninglessness of life. When you understand that you are no different from the totality of things around you then each and every move of yours will have profound implications. It is a ripple effect that goes on and on. Good move or bad move.
Let me ask you this, as long as you can remember, did you ever remember coming into this world? Like making an agreement to come and be who you are and live this life? No. You as you call yourself, was not there when you were born. Your awareness started to exist as you started to get older and now here we are. And all that awareness is nothing but your thoughts, i.e. your memories, the knowledge what society told you how you should be etc etc and that as you start getting older turns into an identity. Even your senses touch, smell, taste are all based out of knowledge and conditioning. Now all this creates a "center". This center gets bigger and bigger as we get older and everything you say, do, behave revolves around this center. I am questioning that center. That center never gave you life, then why should that center take it away? what right has it? Do you know your body is changing every second and there are millions and millions of living organisms that make up that body. Actual living creatures with an evolutionary agenda of their own.
I say that center is just an illusion. The biggest problem we have and why we get stuck is because we want to be something other that what we actually are. We want this in order to fit ourselves into the society. This situation has become so neurotic that our entire thinking mechanism is fragmented. There's images in our head and constant battle going on between one image and the other. To make matters worse, the people we deal with are also an image in our head based on their behaviors towards us. So all that is happening is that there are always images talking to each other and constant judging (images = judgement ) going on. This is draining our life's energy. We also always want things around us to fit into our frame of thought. All this is just not possible.
That "I" is the issue here, some people call it ego or whatever. Believe it or not, if you try to get a bit deeper you will see that its always about "I", for instance what will people think of me, how to I get that, why are they looking at me like that, how do I not make a fool of my self etc etc. This is where the actual life is slipping away from you. That "I" is fear and fear can never touch anything living. Fear equals destruction.
Having said that: I am not for a second suggesting that we go live in a jungle or become one with the nature. That is too pretentious. What I am saying is that we are a product of this society hence we cannot exist if we are in conflict with it. I cannot give you any advice on how to live life. You should figure out this by yourself.
I really dont want to tell you but i'll list it out what personally works for me:
1: loosen up. I mean literally. Imagine if you fall and are all stiffen up. You will break a lot of bones or might even die, vs if your body is relaxed you have a better chance of survival. Similarly let it go and dont run away from your issues neither try to face them. You stiffen up in both situations. Rather just be there. If it hits your center let it hit. That sensation will go away, every sensation is short lived. Don't prolong that thought. Otherwise it will add to that momentum.
2: That one thing you always wanted to do and are super scared to do..that's where life is (If It can be defined). Outside your comfort zone. The fear that paralyzes to make that first move, is just an illusion. Our brains are computers. They are truly artificial intelligences. They don't know any better, what goes in is what get spits out. If you take that step and keep doing it again and again it becomes a pattern and then new norm for you.
3: Failure is just a word like every word it has a certain connotation and image around it. I change it in my head to "Lesson learned and what not to do next time" and move on.
Sorry, I know this is a TLDR piece but your question demands it. Life is really that simple, it is so simple that the complex mechanism (our thoughts) does not want to admit its simplicity. Once you let go, then you play in this playground. Do the right things and all that you wanted out of life will come to you not because you wanted it, but as a side effect.
Let me ask you this, as long as you can remember, did you ever remember coming into this world? Like making an agreement to come and be who you are and live this life? No. You as you call yourself, was not there when you were born. Your awareness started to exist as you started to get older and now here we are. And all that awareness is nothing but your thoughts, i.e. your memories, the knowledge what society told you how you should be etc etc and that as you start getting older turns into an identity. Even your senses touch, smell, taste are all based out of knowledge and conditioning. Now all this creates a "center". This center gets bigger and bigger as we get older and everything you say, do, behave revolves around this center. I am questioning that center. That center never gave you life, then why should that center take it away? what right has it? Do you know your body is changing every second and there are millions and millions of living organisms that make up that body. Actual living creatures with an evolutionary agenda of their own.
I say that center is just an illusion. The biggest problem we have and why we get stuck is because we want to be something other that what we actually are. We want this in order to fit ourselves into the society. This situation has become so neurotic that our entire thinking mechanism is fragmented. There's images in our head and constant battle going on between one image and the other. To make matters worse, the people we deal with are also an image in our head based on their behaviors towards us. So all that is happening is that there are always images talking to each other and constant judging (images = judgement ) going on. This is draining our life's energy. We also always want things around us to fit into our frame of thought. All this is just not possible.
That "I" is the issue here, some people call it ego or whatever. Believe it or not, if you try to get a bit deeper you will see that its always about "I", for instance what will people think of me, how to I get that, why are they looking at me like that, how do I not make a fool of my self etc etc. This is where the actual life is slipping away from you. That "I" is fear and fear can never touch anything living. Fear equals destruction.
Having said that: I am not for a second suggesting that we go live in a jungle or become one with the nature. That is too pretentious. What I am saying is that we are a product of this society hence we cannot exist if we are in conflict with it. I cannot give you any advice on how to live life. You should figure out this by yourself.
I really dont want to tell you but i'll list it out what personally works for me:
1: loosen up. I mean literally. Imagine if you fall and are all stiffen up. You will break a lot of bones or might even die, vs if your body is relaxed you have a better chance of survival. Similarly let it go and dont run away from your issues neither try to face them. You stiffen up in both situations. Rather just be there. If it hits your center let it hit. That sensation will go away, every sensation is short lived. Don't prolong that thought. Otherwise it will add to that momentum.
2: That one thing you always wanted to do and are super scared to do..that's where life is (If It can be defined). Outside your comfort zone. The fear that paralyzes to make that first move, is just an illusion. Our brains are computers. They are truly artificial intelligences. They don't know any better, what goes in is what get spits out. If you take that step and keep doing it again and again it becomes a pattern and then new norm for you.
3: Failure is just a word like every word it has a certain connotation and image around it. I change it in my head to "Lesson learned and what not to do next time" and move on.
Sorry, I know this is a TLDR piece but your question demands it. Life is really that simple, it is so simple that the complex mechanism (our thoughts) does not want to admit its simplicity. Once you let go, then you play in this playground. Do the right things and all that you wanted out of life will come to you not because you wanted it, but as a side effect.
For me I no longer consider the purpose of life from like a cosmic perspective... I used to but as I've grown older, I've realized it doesn't really matter. Do I even want to know the answer from some sick cosmic higher being or some genius mathetician/physics person who has quantified the meaning of life? No... Not really. I'm tired of people telling me what should be important. What I should think. How I should act. How I should feel. There used to be a time when I just lived in the present. Not the past. Not the future. Here and now and that's when I was happiest.
I used to be in the place where you are now, where nothing seemed to matter. Nothing seemed to help or offer a reprieve from the monotonous ticking of a doomed life. To be honest, back then I didn't really allow anyone in to help or change my perspective. Here's how I look at it most of the time now... the fact is we are here. And many of us who are suicidal are still here because death is permanent, but life is uncertain and with uncertainty comes possibility. and I think we all seek and possibly in a deep and buried part of ourselves become excited about that possibility.
I think some part of us knows we haven't given everything a chance that we could give a chance. Some part of us knows that its our own selves holding us back. (Not to discredit the very real problems that society traps us with). I guess in conclusion I am trying to say the purpose of life is contingent upon how much we're willing to receive from it and in a way... how far our imaginations can soar, how much importance and value we give to our own existence and own thoughts.
I can relate to people pushing you onto others... help and support is important. Especially in the darkest of moments, but as people are unreliable, it is important to seek tools/ways you can help yourself during these dark moments. (I'm certainly no expert, but tools have helped me when people have failed me).
God. This was all over the place. I am sorry..
I used to be in the place where you are now, where nothing seemed to matter. Nothing seemed to help or offer a reprieve from the monotonous ticking of a doomed life. To be honest, back then I didn't really allow anyone in to help or change my perspective. Here's how I look at it most of the time now... the fact is we are here. And many of us who are suicidal are still here because death is permanent, but life is uncertain and with uncertainty comes possibility. and I think we all seek and possibly in a deep and buried part of ourselves become excited about that possibility.
I think some part of us knows we haven't given everything a chance that we could give a chance. Some part of us knows that its our own selves holding us back. (Not to discredit the very real problems that society traps us with). I guess in conclusion I am trying to say the purpose of life is contingent upon how much we're willing to receive from it and in a way... how far our imaginations can soar, how much importance and value we give to our own existence and own thoughts.
I can relate to people pushing you onto others... help and support is important. Especially in the darkest of moments, but as people are unreliable, it is important to seek tools/ways you can help yourself during these dark moments. (I'm certainly no expert, but tools have helped me when people have failed me).
God. This was all over the place. I am sorry..
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