Why was I bullied?

[Mysticrose]

I've been bullied since elementary. It was terrible during my middle school years however. Nearly everyday in my last class the whole entire class would bully me for no reason. I have also been talked about a lot. I try to forget about it. But it still bothers me sometimes. I don't know what I did to get treated that way.

 

[may71]

I don't think you did anything. I think the problem is just that some people like to victimize other people, and if they are in a situation where it's socially acceptable (i.e., they can get away with it), then that's what they'll do. I think sometimes people do that just out of sheer inner malice, and other times they do it to deal with abuse in their own lives. Instead of pushing back against someone who has abused them, they attack the easiest available target.

They probably saw that you were vulnerable, and that they could hurt you without getting hurt back.

 

[dugga]

Hi Mysticrose... this is something I've been thinking about lately. I'm sure you did nothing wrong - you were just an easy target and you had no one there to protect you. I can't recall a time in my life when I haven't been bullied. First it was family - siblings, cousins. Then all through school, then into the workplace. Here I am turned 50 and it still happens, maybe it's destiny? I don't know. I guess like may said people seek out easy targets. The thing is I'm not small or weak - it's just that I've always been quiet and somewhat introverted makes people want to put me down to put themselves up. I think it's also because even as a young child I had no one to defend me. I came from a dysfunctional family and being the youngest instead of being protected the opposite happened. Not pleasant memories. Sorry now I'm making this about me... I wouldn't let anyone treat you like that because I know how it feels and how some memories last a lifetime. Don't let it get to you - you're a good and valued person.

 

[Walker]

You know, aside of just saying "no reason", which is the only answer we can give because kids are assholes. There's a gang mentality with kids too that allows them to keep kicking someone once all the others have started. They use that to fit in - one starts on you then another joins in & soon its "the whole class". You didn't do a thing to cause or provoke that. Now you're older & you can champion against that behavior as an adult when you see it because sadly, is not gone in us either (us: adults)

 

[Emma bella]

Hi I am new member but I think this place is brilliant. I have never ever posted in chatrooms but the things being discussed on this site resonate. I was looking to post a thank you for kind comments people have put. I'm about to go to work its a new job most people have been very distant and seem to be ultra clicky. Its the reason I was trawling the internet last night as things like that send me spiralling downwards. I agree the children who bullied you were nasty they grow up to be nasty too although some people seem to grow out of it. I remember being bullied for silly reasons like not needing a bra . I was 11!!!!! Outrageous but it hurt like hell and I think I've carried these feelings too much and let them make me feel worthless. I'm an adult now but I still think I let people put me down too easily. I hope u realise the bullies r just crappy insecure people xxx

 

[nico_justnico]

Hey Rose, I am sorry you were bullied.
As a matter of fact, the why is a question I have asked myself very often, since I got bullied at different places, even though they had no people in common.
Later, i found out I have some sort of disorder,that makes my behavior occur rather strange to others sometimes.
I guess that what I'm trying to say is that there sometimes is a why, even if you can't see it, and that sometimes it's better not to know the answer to that question

 

[MissNobody]

I've been bullied a lot too, mostly by my family. As a child I did well with others my age but the constant abuse and humiliation from my family eventually took a toll and I became super socially awkward by the time I was 16, practically overnight. It just got worse and worse so now adults bully me, outcast me, whatever.

Like others have said, I think people can sense a vulnerability in others. From the way we speak, our mannerisms, just the way we carry ourselves in general tells a lot about a person and people react to that. Once someone on the top of the social hierarchy senses those vulnerabilities, weaknesses, or whathaveyou, and targets us..others will follow suit to fit it and then, suddenly it becomes "okay" to treat someone so cruelly.

Generally speaking, I think people tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves. If we generally think down on ourselves then others will treat us poorly, vice versa. Not that it's an excuse for people to bully others, of course, it's not ever okay.

I'm sorry people have treated you so badly, Mystic. Just know, whatever their poor excuses were/are for bullying you, you did not and do not deserve it. gsss*

 

[afterlifepig]

bad social skills can be a trigger. there's this one awkward woman who was rude to me at my mental health club (which is mainly full of the nicest people who don't bully) so i talked sh*t about her gladly and then i felt better. sometimes you need to show teeth or else people will feel it's okay to screw with you. and i'm weird looking but since i don't act weak people don't usually target me. i had to deal with some abrasiveness at the job i had before last (because of how i look), but i just kind of handled it smartly and it went away. kids can be especially cruel and have that gang mentality (not your fault) but grown ups are more predictable, and as long as you're smart you should be okay.

but i guess i've lived a very protected life. i've still had to deal with cyberbullying because of my appearance. so far it's flown under the legal radar but as soon as they make a slip up i will sue them for libel and make off with a lot of their cash! lol

 

[Sunday16]

@afterlifepig, I think weird can be beautiful

 

[Lovetolisten]

I've been bullied since elementary. It was terrible during my middle school years however. Nearly everyday in my last class the whole entire class would bully me for no reason. I have also been talked about a lot. I try to forget about it. But it still bothers me sometimes. I don't know what I did to get treated that way.

I don't think it's you. Sometimes, one kid or two will start targeting one person. They get others to go along. When a group of people are bullying you, it's hard not to wonder if it's you. It's not you.

I am sorry you were treated poorly. You didn't deserve that.

 

[Aquariusrising]

Hard to know your circumstances but people in general suck. I was victimised constantly and I think it comes from coming from a poorer family, being quiet, fatter than others and sensitive. Any perceived weakness is a target to people.