Hey non existent reader... Im nothing. I cant even choose things by myself and am very dependent. Im fat, at my highest right now and have been ana for a year or so... Its been so confusing but my "best" days where those when I fasted for so long I could barely walk, was too weak. A friend has been trying to get me to try to recover, which I honestly have tries but all I have left is the urge to be fit, sometimes. Other times I am at the gym and all I can think of is how much my net intake is and how when I am skinny I can try lifting a bit more weight than I do now. I cant stop staring at this blondie at the gym, she's fiiiit and my idol. Unfortunately, ana still controls me and I am going to be skinny( not skeleton like) and then get fit... If ana lets me free ofc. Sounds right?