wishes
- Thread starter MoAnamCara
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I feel like everything I ever loved in life has been taken away from me. I feel like everything that gave me pleasure, joy, and confidence in life has been ripped away from me and is never coming back. My life throughout the past 2 years has been constantly filled with nothing but anger, depression, misery, and anxiety, and this is not a life worth living in my opinion. My identity is gone and is now replaced with an identity that I never wanted, an identity that I never dreamed of having. I pine for the days when I was on top of the world, when I was the life of the party, when I was the person that people aspired to be and who people wanted to be around. I used to have friends calling me all the time, wanting me to go out with them because they enjoyed my vibrant personality and unique identity and they liked the way that they felt when they were around me. Now I've literally lost more than half of my friends. Some of them stopped calling because I feel that they didn't want to be around a person who is depressed, miserable, and negative all the times. Others I just stopped calling. Some of them reached out to me but I didn't contact them back because I can't be the same person that I used to be around them. I can no longer be the person that they knew and had come to love, the person that they befriended in the first place. I cannot stand it when I see all these happy-go-lucky people all over the place, living and loving life, doing things that I used to do as recently as 2 years ago, but now can no longer do. To sum it all up: As recently as 2 years ago, I was living a life that I was content with and I was a happy, energetic, vibrant person with a great personality. Now due to circumstances that happened to me in life, I am just a fragile shell of the person that I used to be. I am now in just constant misery, depression, anger, and suffering. This is no way to go through life and it is a life that is no longer worth living. Lastly, this is not a chemical imbalance issue that can be rectified with anti-depressants or shit like that. If certain things, didn't happen to me in life, I'd be on top of the world right now. But instead, I am so low and down right now that I may as well be 6 feet under.
At 7 weeks Mo perhaps the shock is wearing off and reality setting in..
the body protects itself from grief hitting in one huge swell..and sends it in waves
grief is so often referred to as a roller coaster ride..I hate roller coasters!
I find talking about your feelings helps and I hope you find it some comfort to you to share with us :arms:
the body protects itself from grief hitting in one huge swell..and sends it in waves
grief is so often referred to as a roller coaster ride..I hate roller coasters!
I find talking about your feelings helps and I hope you find it some comfort to you to share with us :arms:
I know that my grief was/is beyond any pain I have imagined. At my dad's service, the preacher admitted that all of us had been robbed and denied. He also said don't believe those who say it will get better, it won't, it will get different. But that takes time, gather the ones who can/will genuinely support you.
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