For describing how much things get affected because of my so called family.
Going to a party , soon. I didn't think about it before , I thought I would just tell my so called father honestly and it might take a bit convincing and he might mess things up a bit but it would be okay for most part.
Now , the opposite of that situation is that I wouldn't be allowed to go , and / or things would mess up big time. I.e he would reach the place , throw his tantrums to everyone present there , feeding us his ideologies , beliefs , values , etc. And basically ruining everyone's mood and minus the time we had decided because of his problems.
And , it was only recent that my so called mom said I would have to lie and she would lie , because " these people wouldn't understand and it's not something that happens in their families "
She was like , say only girls are meeting at someone's home.
Problem with this is , my so called father isn't one of those people who just let things go. " Where are you going? " , " What's the name of the father of that girl you're going to ? " , " Address "? , " Should I pick you up , check up on you during your time there and after? " , " Should I go with you now ? " , " Can you give me the phone number of the girls' parents ? "
Ah. If you're a healthy parent but just struggles with anxiety or something , we could have talked this out. I wouldn't follow up with these things , all of them maybe but I would reassure as needed ( not overly , but like then it would have came natural to me because I would loved you! )
But it's not like that. It's not even care. It's possessiveness. It's " I want attention "
I own you , I need to be the main character in your life and ofcourse because you have a vagina so yeah , that kinda situation.
Horrible. I am thinking of really talking to my so called mom , making her understand stuff and then go with her but when it would be done , I would hopefully come with one of the girls.
I would lie to him cause the other possible possibility is just really bad. Also , if it would be something else , I might have stand my ground , fight or whatever. It's not the time , right now. This matters to me , can't ruin it , I need to go.
Also , I am thinking of keeping my styling underneath my shirt and then removing it once we would be there , and my mom would be away lol. That would be my first time doing it and I think it would be fun lol.
Just really fingers crossed that my so called dad won't ruin things up , I hope he won't come to the fake address I would give him , wouldn't call me all the time during it and most importantly would just be relaxed and not having doubts on me or so called mom.
Let's see how it goes.
But seriously , this is why I need to escape this house along with other things obviously.
Going to a party , soon. I didn't think about it before , I thought I would just tell my so called father honestly and it might take a bit convincing and he might mess things up a bit but it would be okay for most part.
Now , the opposite of that situation is that I wouldn't be allowed to go , and / or things would mess up big time. I.e he would reach the place , throw his tantrums to everyone present there , feeding us his ideologies , beliefs , values , etc. And basically ruining everyone's mood and minus the time we had decided because of his problems.
And , it was only recent that my so called mom said I would have to lie and she would lie , because " these people wouldn't understand and it's not something that happens in their families "
She was like , say only girls are meeting at someone's home.
Problem with this is , my so called father isn't one of those people who just let things go. " Where are you going? " , " What's the name of the father of that girl you're going to ? " , " Address "? , " Should I pick you up , check up on you during your time there and after? " , " Should I go with you now ? " , " Can you give me the phone number of the girls' parents ? "
Ah. If you're a healthy parent but just struggles with anxiety or something , we could have talked this out. I wouldn't follow up with these things , all of them maybe but I would reassure as needed ( not overly , but like then it would have came natural to me because I would loved you! )
But it's not like that. It's not even care. It's possessiveness. It's " I want attention "
I own you , I need to be the main character in your life and ofcourse because you have a vagina so yeah , that kinda situation.
Horrible. I am thinking of really talking to my so called mom , making her understand stuff and then go with her but when it would be done , I would hopefully come with one of the girls.
I would lie to him cause the other possible possibility is just really bad. Also , if it would be something else , I might have stand my ground , fight or whatever. It's not the time , right now. This matters to me , can't ruin it , I need to go.
Also , I am thinking of keeping my styling underneath my shirt and then removing it once we would be there , and my mom would be away lol. That would be my first time doing it and I think it would be fun lol.
Just really fingers crossed that my so called dad won't ruin things up , I hope he won't come to the fake address I would give him , wouldn't call me all the time during it and most importantly would just be relaxed and not having doubts on me or so called mom.
Let's see how it goes.
But seriously , this is why I need to escape this house along with other things obviously.