Worst Parts about depression:

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by inkdrop, Aug 9, 2013.

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  1. inkdrop

    inkdrop New Member

    For me, the worst is
    • When you start feeling a little better but too afraid to interact
    • crying yourself to sleep then waking up and crying some more

    What are the most miserable parts for you?
     
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Not being able to see the good in anything, to have any hope, or even to enjoy what you used to. Even when I feel ok, I know I'll sink into the black hole again soon.
     
  3. gubby

    gubby Active Member

    when all you see is disappointment, and when you need to fake being happy
     
  4. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    for me.. the worst part is the guilt... knowing you should be doing so much more with life but fail to see what you should be doing.
     
  5. aragan

    aragan New Member

    When doctors try to force happiness upon you with pill after pill.
     
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    The worst bit for me is toying with the idea of telling some of my family that they are part of the issue I find for me. If I tell them and they don't like it, i'm not much different in terms of interaction as I am now. If I don't tell them, I could burst at them because of the "bottling up" effect, perhaps at the wrong time/place.

    Aside from that - in reverse order I'll try and offer some support.

    Meds are not designed to make one happy - particularly anti-depressants. They are designed to encourage a better sustainability of manageable living, but not everyone needs them.

    Everyone's lives/lifestyles are different. Maybe try not comparing yourself to what others around you are doing/others expectations of you? I can understand the feeling of failure to see what "should" be done, but this could be you're setting your goals too high and being disappointed when you don't reach them? Consider making smaller goals, more short-medium term.

    Ideally, you should never fake being happy - as that is deviating from being who you are. And as for only seeing disappointment - are there examples you could give? There is often something positive in even the darkest of situations, that us in depths of depressions clutches do not see without external support.

    Is there anything that you know sets you off towards that black hole that you reference here? If there's a pattern that you can see, perhaps you can try adjusting with support of us here/professionals to minimise what happens? I understand you've been on this site for a while and I might be suggesting things you've tried - but do you manage to keep any offline support or is there something you recognise that you do which could interfere with that?

    If in the middle of feeling that little better, you want to interact, maybe you should at least try? It could be better than not trying and not knowing the resulting outcome, and may take a few tries to develop that routine. As for the crying, are you at a loss for explanations or have you a therapist who helps? If you have one that doesn't, maybe consider trying to ask for a different one or even trying one if you haven't got one?
     
  7. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    fighting_the_tide,

    that's good advice

    i think my problem (or my main one) is not knowing what i even want anymore. i've lived so long with suffering, that nothing seems interesting

    i like your posts- full of good advice
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker


    Sometimes it's hard to tell, it can be small things that trigger me, I seem to be able to get into a depressed mood pretty quickly. I don't have any offline support, and not much here either. I would see a therapist if I could afford one, I can't apply for coverage right now because they aren't currently accepting new patients. It's hard to maintain everything on my own, but I seem to be doing ok for now. If things get worse, then I'll see if I can work out some kind of payment plan or something to get the help I need.
     
  9. JustKindaThere

    JustKindaThere Well-Known Member

    Insomnia because not sleeping makes it all feel a thousand times worse. I've considering killing myself a lot this year solely because I am unbelievably tired from poor sleep... and this is coming from someone who hates sleeping >.<
     
  10. Soldier83

    Soldier83 Well-Known Member

    That pain in your chest, like a hole dragging you tho the depths. The unbelievable anger you feel at the slightest thing that anyone does, or says. The kind of anger that tells you that you are not a good person.
     
  11. PaperFlame

    PaperFlame Active Member

    The worst part for me is knowing that I am not functioning as a parent as well as I know I can and should. It hurts knowing that indirectly my kids are affected by my sickness.
     
  12. RESTurtles

    RESTurtles Well-Known Member

    Worst part for me is if somebody finds out; looking at the good and actually trying to feel good, but knowing in the end it wont be the same; knowing that I wont feel good as normal people do, always having a doubt that I'm not good enough to succeed.
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    the trapped feeling the feeling that someow i will never get out of darkness
     
  14. Lux

    Lux Well-Known Member

    feeling immobilized by sadness, unable to do anything for pretty much the whole day.
    letting people down by not doing anything.
    people not understanding regardless of how you try to explain
    the soreness and tiredness of the eyes after a whole night of crying and not sleeping.
     
  15. MeowC

    MeowC Well-Known Member

    The worst part for me is seeing no way out of this, feeling as though there is no hope left and then unable to do anything about it. Or not being able to talk to anybody no matter if I want help with something or not
     
  16. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel Well-Known Member

    The worst part?

    The happy people. They are everywhere.
     
  17. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    -It may sound weird, but feeling happy. It's nothing more then a tease of what you could have, but never actually be able to obtain. To experience a mood that I know won't last long, is a cruel experience and I just wish it would never show up.

    -The guilt. Every little thing out there I feel so guilty for. Like, why am I allowed a roof over my head when someone so much better in this world can't. Why does "good" things happen for me. I don't deserve anything at all.
     
  18. fairlady

    fairlady New Member

    Hm..

    What I hate about depression is the inability to do anything.

    I hate my situation and I wonder why I haven't tried to get out it.

    I hate my lack of goals - my lack of motivation for the future - my inability to do work to become productive, proactive and accomplish things in my life - to be unable to become proud of myself.

    I hate my lies. I hate the lies I tell myself. I continue to tell myself I will be able to complete this. That I am an ______ person. That what I am telling myself is not lies. That it is within my power to do what I wish - what I want.

    And these awful awful lies continue on and on until they become a muddled brown - like too many colors have been blended together.

    I hate these shaky grounds as I stand petrified unable to move. Move from so many aspect of my god damn life. I can't even bring myself to relay on people because I will just beat the shit out of myself afterwards.

    Anyways please forgive me for my rant. I really hate how I wrote so much while you guys wrote so little. I hope you don't become irritated with what I wrote because I am rather irritated at myself already.
     
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