wrecking ball

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by dzda52511, Sep 15, 2013.

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  1. dzda52511

    dzda52511 Member

    Last night was the most saddest night of my life, i finally realized ill never be understood in this world, accepted and ill always be an outcast for whatever reason.. I have never missed somebody's presence so much in my entire life, i feel as if he had died... What hurts the most is that he pretends i don't exist when he was ll i ever had, i gave him something i could never give anybody no matter how hard i tried, the real me... what a mistake that was.. it's okay because he hates me im sure since he hsn't texted called or anything.. the things i in-vision of doing to myself to stop this makes me sad.. because i don't know how close i am to trying them.. the way i feel ... so unexplainable i don't even know why im posting this because im just going to continue living this dumb lie that i put on everyday.. i miss my true love, i keep trying to do things to better myself i do, but it doesn't matter.. nothing matters i have nobody, no family, 1 friend who doesn't want to hear that im depressed my therapist who i have to pay to care, i lost the most important things to me in my entire life, i would do anything to get him back... i hate myself.. i can't live it down. and i know i will never be able to
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your therapist cares hun not because you pay him or her i mean t got into field because they want to help people ok just like a doctor or nurse they care about people hun
    You will meet someone new or perhaps once you are strong standing on your own two feet things will change for better but right now all that matters has to be YOU ok don't even think about relationships until you are stable hugs
     
  3. John B

    John B Active Member

    The way you feel when you think about this guy is not going to stop for several years. The best advice I can give on that part is to gain control of your emotions. When you have better control, you can reduce the effect of certain feelings whenever they flare up. I have a music playlists that make it incredibly hard to think and others that increase my productivity. People use music as a way to escape and express their emotions. If you expand your music genre it might help mitigate your feelings. Might I recommend The Polish Ambassador, their sound patterns seem different yet good.

    I don’t know if I said this already but if his actions are intentional, he might be trying to distance himself from you. When dealing with a loss like this it’s hard to let go. If this is all circling around the fact that he was your first, you might want to step back and analyze the 30 month relationship. Intimate encounters mean different things to different people. For some it’s a sacred act, for others it’s just another thing you do and it means very little. I don’t know either of you, but if your entire relationship was a play, intercourse would have probably happened in the later months of your relationship and closer to the breakup date. If “the real you” means you dropped your guard, then that’s a red flag in my books because for a play to work, that would be the intended goal before the actual act. I don’t know enough about your relationship to have a valid opinion. Some questions are too personal and inappropriate to ask.
     
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