Yeah, I qualify for this thread

Discussion in 'Life Changing or Long Term Physical Illness (New)' started by moxman, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Mental Health Disorders
    Major Depressive Disorder
    Generalized Anxiety Disorder
    PTSD*2

    Physical Health Conditions
    Colitis
    No Colon
    Shoulder Arthritis *2
    Stomach Hernias
    History of Seizures

    Others
    Stuttering

    15 Medications

    The Navy, totally failed me in my medical treatment for Colitis. The ship doctor was giving me vitamins, to treat colitis. Yes, vitamins. I feel like I should have been taken off of my ship.Sent to the States, to see a GI doctor. I am very angry about this, I don't know how to deal with it.

    Medication for Colitis, Azfuldean, caused me to have seizures. I had a seizure, and landed on my shoulder and messed it up pretty good.

    Had Colon removed to treat rampart Colitis. It was killing me. Now, I have perm. diarrhea, which is it's own personal "joy".

    Yeah, I have my plate full. I am so tired of it all. I am tired of being sick, and no hope that things will ever get better. Things will only get worse. I just want it all to stop. At 42, no hope for dating or imitancy , why keep living? What's the point of it?
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2016
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Mox, didn't you say something about having a beautiful daughter. That sounds like a pretty good reason to stay on this earth.
    I understand about the colon problem. I have IBS, diverticulosis, bleeding hemrhoids (never will be able to spell that word), and colon isn't even where it should be anymore. Was pulled out of place by surgical adhesions caused by a lousy doctor. I never let myself get far from a bathroom and keep extra clothes available all the time. Have arthritis too. And dry eye, asthma, allergies, GAD, depression, GERD, floaters and flashers in my eyes....more stuff then I can list. It really does get brutal. And sometime I may decide to end things. But I want to be absolutely sure the time is right before I do that. One thing that I don't have, that you do, is that beautiful daughter. I hope you can find the strength to stay here for her.
    Hugs to both you and your daughter.
     
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  3. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    I do and I love her to death, posted a thread today about her in Jims Cafe. Who is Jim anyway?

    I just don't know how much longer I can keep up.

    My life is so ridiculously stressed, I don't know how to handle it anymore.

    She's the one reason I am still here.
     
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Jim was a moderator here a while back. He always posted in the cafe. He passed away suddenly due to natural causes so we renamed the cafe after him. He really was a wonderful man. I had the chance to meet him once in person. I shall always remember him fondly.
     
  5. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    It may sound weird, but I consider my stuttering to being the biggest obstacle I have. I can't apply for jobs requiring good telephone skills. It hinders me socially, because I am so self conscious about it. Makes it harder for me to reach out to other people/organizations for help. I really feel like I can't talk, and it is extremely frustrating for me. Don't even get me started on the nightmare of job interviews , and stuttering. That is part of why I feel so accepted by this place, I don't have to talk. I can just type. In college I had to watch videotape of myself giving presentations, I was so embarrassed by it, I felt like a "stuttering jack-ass"
     
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Moxman *big hugs* I'm sorry you are going through so much. I just googled stuttering since that seems to be highest on your list right now. I googled "stuttering, causes, treatments". It seems there is "some" help out there - I don't know enough about the whole issue to gauge if would be worthwhile. Perhaps you could do a google search yourself and see if anything might be a good fit for you? One thing that really stuck out to me is that the skills that help stutterers need to be practised on a regular everyday basis so the person doesn't lose the skills. I suppose that makes sense in the way that a person with a weak ankle must continue to build and then maintain the muscle strength of that ankle.

    I'm glad you're here and able to share easily and get support. Take care of yourself! :)
     
    moxman likes this.
  7. Abhay

    Abhay Member

    Mox it's Abhay yeasterday I was on the brink of <mod edit - method> when I found this site, your comment made me <mod edit - details> I owe it to you to tell you that you where the first person that was nice to me after a long time, so to me you are a saint always remember that.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2016
  8. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    we can always chat ok
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2016
  9. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Hi Mox:

    Life sure is funny reminding ourselves that we are not immortal. People sure take their health for granted til its gone in a blink. Sorry about your health, I don't have a stutter issue but I do know how communication is a huge issue as I have barriers myself being deaf and unable to talk for myself most of the times as I rely on sign language. Talk about akward (wink)
     
  10. CandleLight

    CandleLight Well-Known Member

    Just posting to say hello to you, moxman, and to all others in this little corner of the forum. I can understand the agony of physical and health challenges, in addition to the awful feelings that bring the majority of us here. I can finally understand now, why a suicidal person getting a serious health diagnosis is so upsetting. It's *especially* upsetting. Because the struggle to control a hard life/ hard depression symptoms doesn't make the "answer" of suicide any more clear or obvious once health problems come along. In fact, I'd say I'd actually like to live. I do think I want to live. But what if the sick joke that is cancer, decides otherwise?

    Again, a special nod of understanding and a kind of deeper affection I have for those of us struggling with such things. I mean no disrespect to people who feel suicidal without "anything else", but for us The Question Of It All just seems so much more real. And, so, horrible.

    Just my 2 cents for tonight.

    -CandleLight
     
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  11. Thauoy

    Thauoy Well-Known Member

    Hi Moxman, You are a really nice person. I always read your posts. I appreciate you helping other members on this forum. Be well. A lots of HUGS.
     
  12. TomWest

    TomWest Member

    Sorry for asking but have you by any chance taken cipro or levaquin at some point?
     
  13. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    @TomWest No, I haven't. What are they?
     
    TomWest likes this.
  14. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    I have taken Cipro before a couple of times, but only in limited time frame. It seemed to really help me, while I was taking it.
     
  15. TomWest

    TomWest Member

    Some people (Im one) get chronic illness after taking cipro and other fluoroquinolones. The adverse reactions can show up many months after finishing even a short treatment. Most people are not affected though, of course. But you might want to look into it to see if there is maybe a link to your condition.
     
  16. TomWest

    TomWest Member

    Powerful antibiotics that have a rather extensive list of chronic ADR.
     
  17. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Phew, sounds like I should be grateful that I have not taken them.