1 Week

[GraveRobber]

I'm ugly as f**k and I'm going [Mod Edit - Timeline]. I'm done living this f**king *ss ife. I'm in my early 30s and all I can think of is [Mod Edit - Method] so I can rid of t hi is world of my ugly existence. I'm a lonely loser who has never had a girlfriend and I deserve to die because I'm a sad f**king sack of s**t. You won. I'm out.

 

[Oizys Moros]

@GraveRobber

Welcome to SF platform. It is the hope that you find a safe haven here, where you are heard and supported through your ups and downs.

You are heard. Your feelings are valid. You are stronger than you realize. It is possible to move past these feelings of anguish. You can overcome the to self-execute.

It is unfortunate that you find yourself in this mental state.

I hope that you find a safe space and talk with someone about your mental state of mind.

We are here for you.

 

[Pebble mouse]

Hi @GraveRobber. Welcome to the site. We are all here to support each other, including you. I'm sorry, but I had to edit your post as there are certain rules about what you can post for the safety of others. I hope you understand. FWIW, I really do understand; I am 50 and never had a relationship. I get the loneliness.

 

[GraveRobber]

Hi @GraveRobber. Welcome to the site. We are all here to support each other, including you. I'm sorry, but I had to edit your post as there are certain rules about what you can post for the safety of others. I hope you understand. FWIW, I really do understand; I am 50 and never had a relationship. I get the loneliness.

Hello Oizys Moros and Pebble Mouse. [Mod edit - timeline] do it. I think it's about time to rid of myself from this world. I have always been the last pick. I unfortunately, in my stubbornness would rather die by my own hand than live this world not having a relationship, what I do is never enough and it will never BE enough.

 

[may71]

I'm a lonely loser who has never had a girlfriend

Lots of guys have never had girlfriends. It may be a lot more common than you think.

Not having had a girlfriend in the past doesn't mean that you won't in the future.

I deserve to die because I'm a sad f**king sack of s**t

I don't think you deserve to die. Going through a rough life doesn't mean that you deserve to die, it means that you deserve to have life start treating you more kindly.

 

[Pebble mouse]

This doesn't need to be the end @GraveRobber. You can have a future, including quite possibly a good, satisfying one. If you give up, you will never know what the future can hold for you. You are still young. Things CAN change. My life isn't all sunshine and rainbows exactly, but it's a world away from the hell I was going through at your age. I sometimes have good, happy times now. Please don't harm yourself. It would be a mistake.

 

[GraveRobber]

This doesn't need to be the end @GraveRobber. You can have a future, including quite possibly a good, satisfying one. If you give up, you will never know what the future can hold for you. You are still young. Things CAN change. My life isn't all sunshine and rainbows exactly, but it's a world away from the hell I was going through at your age. I sometimes have good, happy times now. Please don't harm yourself. It would be a mistake.

A user had messaged me the other day to offer help (I wish him well and no ill against him). This is what I had responded with:

I have done everything I can, and I will never be enough. I have gone to group therapy, seen therapists, doctors and pushed myself to my limits to try and understand myself and work on myself. This will never be enough. I tried dating apps this past year and got no where. I've lost weight and gained muscle and still, am a short ugly person where no woman will want me.

You know, this week has been the free-ist I have felt in a long time. Knowing that I will take my life by my own hands and no one can stop me. No one chose me, all my life-I felt so invisible. Somehow, taking my own life is something I see as a radical form of love. A love that no one else can give me, it's to show that I do have control - which is me leaving this earth. Please keep in mind that I do not wish ill on anyone. I know that no one will ever love me or see me as attractive, or worthy of love. And before you comment on "There are more to life than relationships". Unfortunately, I am stubborn and a hopeless romantic. It is in this regard where everything else in my life is going very well. It is this one piece will be the end of me.

When I arrive to my own residence, I will be writing a letter and in this letter I know people will be angry with me for having left this earth. At least they can feel this anger, and this passion towards me where when I was alive it was not. Let me be the air in the wind, let me be the dirt on the ground, let me melt and wither away as the earth welcomes me back in her arms.

Memento, Mori.

To add, I don't think I can truly bare this life anymore as I'm tired and I'm exhausted. Perhaps this is the tragedy, my stubbornness. My life has been, always a waste.

 

[Oizys Moros]

@GraveRobber

Many of us know firsthand the despair from loneliness. Loneliness is a tormenting feeling. Relationship loneliness vs companionship loneliness vs family loneliness. Different but with a common feeling of hopelessness.

I want to encourage you to seek another perspective. Go back to something nostalgic that may interrupt the mental state that you find yourself in.

Could you treat yourself to some pampering. Maybe get a new outfit ( let the sales associate help you choose if you want interaction), go to the barber/salon and try a new haircut / hairstyle. Go to an eatery that you haven’t been to before ( choose the entree that you haven’t had before). Enjoy your environment. Allow yourself to feel happy in the moment.

Exposing yourself to change and possibilities.

During my dark episodes, I push myself to see life through another lens because I want[ed] to believe that there is still hope.

Like @Pebble mouse stated : If you give up, you will never know what the future can hold for you.

 

[may71]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and that you've gone through so much.

This will never be enough. I tried dating apps this past year and got no where. I've lost weight and gained muscle and still, am a short ugly person where no woman will want me

You might want to try dating internationally. As long as you've got a job with enough income to support a wife and child, there are lots and lots of women who are going to prioritize that over looks and height.

Dating apps have a very low success rate for just about everybody, btw.

 

[GraveRobber]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and that you've gone through so much.

You might want to try dating internationally. As long as you've got a job with enough income to support a wife and child, there are lots and lots of women who are going to prioritize that over looks and height.

Dating apps have a very low success rate for just about everybody, btw.

Hello May and Oizys,

Thank you for your replies. I saw my father and mother yesterday. I saw them. If I die, they will unfortunately pass away with grief. I saw my parents now in their mid 60s and their aging selves. I see that they still love me that will always love me regardless of who I am. Two things can be true where no one else will love me and my parents, and my sibling still loves me. There are people here on this forum where I myself do not know or do not know me and still care. All of you who commented for some reason still care. I still have the means to end it all. Though I [Mod Edit - Timeline]...

 

[another world]

I want to encourage you to seek another perspective. Go back to something nostalgic that may interrupt the mental state that you find yourself in.

Could you treat yourself to some pampering. Maybe get a new outfit ( let the sales associate help you choose if you want interaction), go to the barber/salon and try a new haircut / hairstyle. Go to an eatery that you haven’t been to before ( choose the entree that you haven’t had before). Enjoy your environment. Allow yourself to feel happy in the moment.

I sometimes like to go somewhere I like that I haven't been to for a while. Or it could be a new place altogether, but it's often easier to go somewhere I've already been. It doesn't have to be far away, it could be half an hour away or even ten minutes away. It could be a nice natural scene, a town I haven't been to for a while, a place of some historic interest (or just an old ruin of a thing lol), lots of possibilities.

 

[may71]

I have done everything I can, and I will never be enough. I have gone to group therapy, seen therapists, doctors and pushed myself to my limits to try and understand myself and work on myself.

You didn't mention medication specifically. Have you ever been on it?

Sometimes a medication won't work well, but a different medication or a different dose will be effective. There's also more treatments to try than just meds and therapy.

You're on the verge of making the worst mistake of your life. A mistake that you can't recover from. I know it may seem impossible, but there's another, and better way out.

The first thing is to avoid the immediate crisis. After that, you can work on finding love.

Though I still have a few days left...

Suicide is an eternal decision. Surely it's worth waiting to see if there is another path.

I'm worried GraveRobber, you're in a lot of danger.

 

[Gard]

unfortunately, in my stubbornness would rather die by my own hand than live this world not having a relationship, what I do is never enough and it will never BE enough.

That sounds like a sweeping conclusion from some study. Are you sure you asked every single woman? There are over 4 billion of them on the planet. If you surveyed fewer than 5,000 single women, your conclusion can hardly be considered reliable. It’s your opinion—yes—but it’s not a basis for making decisions.

If you’re a stubborn romantic, then keep looking for the one who’ll be satisfied with you. Otherwise, you’re not a stubborn romantic.

 

[GraveRobber]

That sounds like a sweeping conclusion from some study. Are you sure you asked every single woman? There are over 4 billion of them on the planet. If you surveyed fewer than 5,000 single women, your conclusion can hardly be considered reliable. It’s your opinion—yes—but it’s not a basis for making decisions.

If you’re a stubborn romantic, then keep looking for the one who’ll be satisfied with you. Otherwise, you’re not a stubborn romantic.

Then, I don't know what I am. It's okay. It's time for me to go.

 

[another world]

If being short is a problem, there's always the possibility of moving somewhere where the average height is smaller. And your looks might be more "exotic" then.

I doubt that it's necessary to do that, but it's an option. Or do something like dancing classes, that seems to be an efficient way to meet people.

Not that relationships solve everything anyway, but that's another story. The "drug" of love is certainly something different, shame about the hangover if things don't work out. Not to mention other potential stuff. Good luck

 

[Gard]

Then, I don't know what I am. It's okay. It's time for me to go.

You still have time to figure this out. Not some fictional ultimatum of a week, but a whole lifetime—maybe 40 or 50 years.
You could survey a large number of women. Statistically speaking, you’re bound to find a suitable match. You just need to ask more women. And perhaps lower your standards when it comes to women’s looks.
I assure you, there are plenty of single women who can’t find a partner. That’s where you should be looking.
Even on this forum, I’ve read posts from single women who can’t find a man and think they’re too ugly.

 

[GraveRobber]

I failed my attempt. I still feel so lonely and now everything hurts. I need to die now.

 

[may71]

I failed my attempt

I'm glad you didn't kill yourself, even though I know you're not glad.

I hope we'll be able to help you find a non-suicide way out. If we can't do that, I hope we can at least give you some comfort.

I really do believe there's a better way out for you than suicide though.

 

[Lara_C]

I failed my attempt. I still feel so lonely and now everything hurts. I need to die now.

Please keep posting. You matter and we are here for you now. Please stay, we are listening

 

[Pebble mouse]

I failed my attempt. I still feel so lonely and now everything hurts. I need to die now.

I'm sorry you have been through that trauma of a failed attempt. But I'm glad you failed. Please keep posting and talking. There are better options than suicide.