18 Early Signs of a Potential Abuser/ 15 warning signs..

undercoverlover

both dead and alive until somebody opens the box
#42
basically almost all of these were my ex girlfriend. especially needing to isolate me all the time from my friends and family and getting jealous when i get compliments. she wouldnt let me have compliments or friends and blamed all her feelings, problems, and wrongdoings on me. everything was about her and never about me or the both of us. when i got back from the hospital after my suicide attempt she didnt comfort me but instead whined about how it "was all her fault" but proceeded to do nothing about it or fix her actions. she was very hypersensitive and has also has straight up called me a liar and says i dont respect her when i do and have never lied to her.
im glad im out of that relationship. although now shes saying that this breakup will cause her to commit suicide/relapse/be admitted to the hospital and im just trying to remind myself thats bullshit and what she does is her responsibility and choice, not mine.
 
#44
I wish I would have saw this list before I got involved with my boyfriend. Good thing it's on here now. Everyone should keep themselves away from people like this.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
Staff member
Safety & Support
#47
Angelic, I'm sorry you're in that kind of relationship.

Your profile shows you are in Texas, so here is a link to a list of shelters in cities/towns in Texas. I'm sure that if you called them, they could you specific information on what to do.

http://www.hhsc.state.tx.us/Help/family-violence/centers.shtml

Here is a link to the US National Domestic Violence hotline:

http://www.thehotline.org/

Please contact someone at one of these organizations and get the specific info on what do from them. They specialize in helping people in such relationships. And then keep us posted on how you're doing.
 
#48
Great post, but I do believe that not in all cases is this true, only because these are also symptoms of people who have been abused themselves from an early age and aren't necessarily an abuser themselves, also a lot of these symptoms do in fact sound like disorders such as bipolar, schizophrenia, depression and many others, but the real key potential signs of an abuser is if they are possessive in extreme ways, people with bipolar can be possessive as well but not to the extent that an abuser is. So it's really hard to tell the difference of who's potentially an abuser or whether they really do have a messed up psyche from past abusers/abusive childhood. That being said this was a great thread, and 8/10 times this is spot on. but keep in mind not everyone will have all of these signs and can still be an abuser, or someone could have a lot if not most of these signs and not be an abuser at all. The main sign is being overly controlling on a regular basis and extremely possessive.
 
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turryburry

Well-Known Member
#49
Great lists. I would mention one more however---Rudeness to sales people. If a guy/girl can't be polite then they're probably not going to be polite to you in the long run.
 

moxman

The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat
SF Supporter
#53
I just stumbled across this list tonight, it's very insightful. Maybe it should be posted somewhere more prevalent? If an old head like me has spent untold hours on SF and never saw it before tonight. Maybe in the strategies for success or on the main SF page?

This could be so helpful to so many people.
 

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