Age gap

[flyingdutchmen]

He's 21 your 13 you guys met on a website and he says he loves you.
seems legit.

/sarcasm off


2 words..
stay.way

8 years difference wouldnt be a problem if you would be like 20 but right now your wayyy to young. not only is this ilegal because you are underaged but i have this feeling this guy knows exactly
what he is doing is wrong and he only wants one thing from you and it aint no chocolate bar hun

 

[gamergirl]

hell no. older guys take advantage of young girls. if possible, date down

 

[LightInTheDarkestNight]

hell no. older guys take advantage of young girls. if possible, date down

In some cases older guys do but younger girls can also take advantage of older guys. If that guy is lonely and has a host of other things that make him more vulnerable. See my reference to the psychological manipulation page there isn't a straight reference to age on there, there is however a reference to being too immature and too navie as two vulnerabilities.

I've actually been taken advantage of by a younger girl she was 17 and I was a few years older. I was sincere, as well as genuinely nice and I was being used while she was banging quite a few guys, messing with my head etc, then when she got what she wanted out of me(her victim) she abandoned me. Some people actually see being nice as weakness it's something they can exploit.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation

With that said it's probably not a good idea for 13 year old to be getting involved with a guy who as the OP states in her own words is much older.

 

[lycoris]

Im not going to try to tell you you are too young hun because i remember how patronising that felt as a teen.

However at 13 and 21 its highly illegal and he is at the risk of jail.

Ive had age gaps the biggest being 12 years but as an underage girl its a really bad idea and its paeodophillia in the eyes of the law. My first age gap was i was 15 he was 19 and it was miserable and manipulative. The ages are just too different.

Take it from me hun, you met on a chatroom and heknows you are 13 he doesnt love you.

please dont let yourself run away with the idea of him.

Pm me if you need to chat xx

 

[LightInTheDarkestNight]

I noticed this thread is 6 months old so this is probably old news, however I'll still add in my reply.

He's 21 your 13 you guys met on a website and he says he loves you.
seems legit.

/sarcasm off


2 words..
stay.way

8 years difference wouldnt be a problem if you would be like 20 but right now your wayyy to young. not only is this ilegal because you are underaged but i have this feeling this guy knows exactly
what he is doing is wrong and he only wants one thing from you and it aint no chocolate bar hun

Good points, I just was skimming through this thread earlier and didn't take note of the ages. He's 21 and know's your 13 and he met you on chat site and he tells you he loves, which is absurd.

Who even even knows if he's 21 he could very well be lying about that. You see that on the show to catch predator they say they're younger then they really are in many cases.

Dangerous people have the ability to become what their victim wants, they are often quite charming and seductive. In reality you're just bonding with a mask, real relationships are built on sharing true of feelings and mutual respect the victims believe that either one of these exist is how the victim gets taken for a ride.

If you were around 16 and he was actually 21 it would fall within the grey area but the "I love you" is a really bad sign. In all relationships it's good to study the person to some degree that way you know somewhat what you're getting yourself into. Rushing into things isn't a good thing, I've made that mistake quite a few times myself.

Your best bet at your age if you're looking for a relationship is to find a guy who's within 2-3 years of your age if you're looking for something real.

It's possible to find an older guy who is genuine but not very likely at all considering you're only 13. I'd be very wary of any 18+ year olds motives who knows you're 13.

Im not going to try to tell you you are too young hun because i remember how patronising that felt as a teen.

However at 13 and 21 its highly illegal and he is at the risk of jail.

Ive had age gaps the biggest being 12 years but as an underage girl its a really bad idea and its paeodophillia in the eyes of the law. My first age gap was i was 15 he was 19 and it was miserable and manipulative. The ages are just too different.

Take it from me hun, you met on a chatroom and heknows you are 13 he doesnt love you.

please dont let yourself run away with the idea of him.

Pm me if you need to chat xx

To be technical if she's 13 it's not pedophilia however he could likely be grooming her or be someone who preys on younger girls so to speak. Pedophilia is people who have a preference for prepubescent kids.

I feel bad for you about being 15 in a relationship with a 19 year old that was controlling and manipulative. At the same time it makes me feel like a total loser that I got played for a fool by a girl a few years younger then me. Usually if there is control and manipulation going on in a relationship and one person is a teen and the other is not it's the older one that's doing it not the younger one, however that certainly isn't always the case I know this first hand.

 

[gloomy]

I think it might be going a little overboard to jump to the conclusion that he is 'grooming' her… I mean, the world isn't as full of heartless predators as some people think. It's more like there are a lot of overgrown children who don't see themselves as adults, and a lot of really paranoid people who are quick to label anyone and everyone a pedophile.

When I was 20/21, I definitely identified with younger people more than adults-- I had a lot more in common with a 13 year old than a 30 or 40 year olds-- hell, I'd even say 28 year olds were more like younger versions of my parents than anyone I would consider a girlfriend… but of course, my dating a 50 year old at that point wouldn't have been illegal… and if it had gone further than that and I had been taken advantage of, then it would be completely my own fault and nobody would give a damn.

But come on-- at 21 most people are still in school-- they still don't know anything about the real world, they don't have so many responsibilities, and in a lot of ways they're still kids. And online where you're not really getting the full experience of the age gap, you can't see each other, and it doesn't always click that the person you're talking to is a lot younger than you are, even if they do tell you how old they are.

I'm not defending pedophiles or saying that's definitely not what's going on, I'm just saying that jumping to the conclusion that he's a monster or assuming that he's actually really old is pretty shortsighted.

On the other hand, it amazes me that a 13 year old girl would ever consider meeting someone they've met online… I guess because I didn't have the Internet when I was 13-- but still, it's kinda messed up just how big a part computers play in kid's social lives nowadays and how unafraid they are to interact with strangers online…

Wow that was long.

 

[BeautifullyChaotic]

You are 13, he is 21, he is a pervert. Plain and simple. He should be jailed. Any grown ass man going after a child is sick. Why on earth would an adult want to be with a child? A child is defined by law as a person 14 years old or younger, 15 and older is adolescent and even that is sick. Now if you were 17 or 18 I could see it, but not 13, you're still a child and he is a pervert.

It is more likely that a woman in his age range wont have him, and he goes after kids because they don't know any better. I know from experience; I dated a 20 year old man when I was 15 and he was a total loser but as a kid I couldn't see that, I mistook his age for maturity and he was just using me because women his own age knew he was a loser and wouldn't give him the time of day. He ended up marrying a 16 year old when he was 27, and her mother was sick enough to sign the papers. Now they have 3 kids and she is barely 20, filing for divorce because he is abusive and does nothing to support her and her kids.