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alone
- Thread starter Windhover
- Start date
Sometimes it feels like I am 1 small tugboat pushing on one of those gigantic cruise ships but I'm working on turning this, thank you @Pebble mouse. It feels less dark, if that makes sense, to know I'm being thout of by you. I very much appreciate the support.
I got part of my goal accomplished today, maybe a third of the work done. Ended up walking a lot on concrete footpaths ow, and while things didn't go the way I had hoped they would, at least some good came of the effort. At the end, the taxi left me waiting for 2 hours; I called and called, they apologised and drove me home for free. : )
When I got back I managed to get out for a little run and as always feel much better after.
When I got back I managed to get out for a little run and as always feel much better after.
@I_waste_everything thanks : ) I am grateful for the nice people out there - like the taxi dispactch. Also glad I was able to get out for a run to shed some of the frustration. I have to go back in a couple of weeks and basically re-do the entire process to finish this part of the goal. That in itself, once in place, is just the basic foundation for the real goal.
I hope you are doing okay, or better than okay.
I hope you are doing okay, or better than okay.
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A calmer mood lately, partly because the pain of the torn tendon has been going down a little. Partly because I have been thinking about suicide which is quite comforting. After the pic/ultrasound of the tear, I decided I'm not going to get injections of platelet plasma. They want to charge me 800 usd to remove some of my blood, spin it, and then give my plasma part back to me, to help the injury heal. While I understand about platelets and growth factor, still, wtf. Like buying back my own used vehicle from a used-car lot. Exagerating. But I do see some glaring weirdness in that, almost a patriarchal ceremony what with fluids and needles and the whole Rube Goldberg scheme potentially costing me a lot of money.
I've had that twice. Once on my hip and once on my knee. The hip treatment didn't help, but on the knee injury it was a game changer. That said, the use of prolotherapy (i think that's the name) was a third-line treatment, not like something they suggested after looking at the imaging. The hip injury was torn cartilage, and the knee was patellar tendinitis.
That's great the treatment helped heal your knee @LumberJack. : )
Having gained some distance, it is clearer that he has NPD, and peope whose minds resort to it don't do it intentionally, at least from what I experienced in the marriage. In the day to day though, they engage in its behaviours because they made a bargain with themselves. The wins the seek are at the expense of their supposed loved one, who in turn feels hurt but also empathy thus feeding the narcissism, which then drops another win into the narcissistic person's hungry gut. The problem for me is all that energy and love I expended was wasted, and I was left in a heap with nothing.
@Congratsbaby I wish I could, because I like interacting with you, as well as others here. But there's no story, events or for that matter self, left to write about.