Any touchers around?

[Mortem]

Mortem, I heard a theory once about people and their likings...You only have 3 different people and ways you can make them happy in.

You have people who like being touched or to touch others themselves, to express how they feel and to make others feel appreciated.

You have people who like gifts, materialists who also express their emotions by giving gifts.

And then you have those you can make happy with a kind word and who'll express their emotions with words.


Most people can be divided into one of those 3 groups and knowing which one helps making them feel appreciated...

As it seems you're not one who likes touching and/or being touched. ^^ So just try to make your way with words, it'll be easier expressing it that way than waiting for the solution to jump you.

I can understand it's hard, I myself have a hard time expressing anything. But what other way to make people know your thoughts, then speaking them?

Interesting theory!
Although I might lean a bit towards thinking that there are more ways to make people happy, helping someone out with some job or when they're in trouble for example.

aaaaand yes... I suppose you're right about "using words". But as you mention you also see the complication. Some times the social consequence of telling someone off is just as nasty as the experience itself and might even last longer than walking around feeling like there's tiny centipedes crawling under ones skin at the spots one have been touched for some months... if you see what I mean.
They ought to notice that it's not ok, though. Since I get noticeably tense and might cringe.

But yeah, it's a valid point and the advice is taken. Thanks :smile:

 

[XXXXX]

Bit curious about your former relationship there. Was it a relationship without physical contact? Or was it more like ok to touch/be touched by eachother but not by others?

Curious away!

I was mainly talking about from when we first met to when we first "got it on".....which was over a period of a few years (and took a good few years more to turn out serious).

If I (or her) had given a bear hug (or any touchy feely contact) the first time we met or on every time we met we would simply never have "got it on".

After we "got it on"? Well, kinda strange relationship in some ways that did change over a long time.....but basically in public few signs of affection from body contact. Not to say I / we did not hold hands - like when crossing the road :tongue:...and the 2 foot zone was not strictly enforced.....we were not phobic with each other, cos' a Trust was built up that the other would not suddenly go all "touchy feely" on them.

In private? much the same really - unless we were sitting down on a sofa watching TV together or in Bed, doing the same. or not :tongue: I guess the touchy feely stuff was reserved for these times (whether or not it included any "Jiggy jiggy" :tongue - I should make clear that an element of touchy feely with each other was important to both of us (i.e. cuddling up in bed together of a night before sleeping....and waking up on each side of the bed 2 foot apart :rolleyes, but a private thing and neither of us needed it constantly for reassurance.......either in public or private.

Given that both of us had our "issues", wasn't easy to build up the level of Trust between us.....touchy feely or not :biggrin:

Looking back on things, I think she liked the fact that I did not need to try and accomadate her feelings on this - it was simply part of my nature, but it takes time to find this out / build up Trust. I appreciate that all folk / women are different so with someone else my attitide may be a deal breaker rather than part of a deal maker......but such is life..........

 

[lifeisashedog]

A girl in the school once tried to hold averyone by the hand. But whenever she did it with me i tried to HUG her back. She soon learned to leave me alone. :biggrin:

 

[Mortem]

Curious away!

I was mainly talking about from when we first met to when we first "got it on".....which was over a period of a few years (and took a good few years more to turn out serious).

If I (or her) had given a bear hug (or any touchy feely contact) the first time we met or on every time we met we would simply never have "got it on".

After we "got it on"? Well, kinda strange relationship in some ways that did change over a long time.....but basically in public few signs of affection from body contact. Not to say I / we did not hold hands - like when crossing the road :tongue:...and the 2 foot zone was not strictly enforced.....we were not phobic with each other, cos' a Trust was built up that the other would not suddenly go all "touchy feely" on them.

In private? much the same really - unless we were sitting down on a sofa watching TV together or in Bed, doing the same. or not :tongue: I guess the touchy feely stuff was reserved for these times (whether or not it included any "Jiggy jiggy" :tongue - I should make clear that an element of touchy feely with each other was important to both of us (i.e. cuddling up in bed together of a night before sleeping....and waking up on each side of the bed 2 foot apart :rolleyes, but a private thing and neither of us needed it constantly for reassurance.......either in public or private.

Given that both of us had our "issues", wasn't easy to build up the level of Trust between us.....touchy feely or not :biggrin:

Looking back on things, I think she liked the fact that I did not need to try and accomadate her feelings on this - it was simply part of my nature, but it takes time to find this out / build up Trust. I appreciate that all folk / women are different so with someone else my attitide may be a deal breaker rather than part of a deal maker......but such is life..........

Sounds like a rare, but pretty good, match there... and yep, I agree with the latter. Someone with a greater need for intimacy would probably not fancy that approach very much.
Thanks for sharing! :smile:

 

[brainstorm]

I do not allow myself to touch or to ask for touch.

My skin is literally crawling away from me.

Yet, when someone touches me, I always feel invaded.