Luliby said:
I'll tell you what got me through college; my priorities were God first, college, then family, then firends. So, focus on your classes, focus on your assignments and studies. By the time you are ready to graduate more than HALF the students in your freshmen year will have dropped out. And thats ok! If there isn't anything you want at college it's a waste of time and money.
College isn't an opportunity, or a place to socialize and meet friends, or have parties. It's training for what you want to do. It's also not not a "rest of your life" kinda decision either. You don't HAVE to go to college, you can change your mind, maybe take a few years off to think about what you really do want to do with your life.
When I first graduated from high school I went straight into college like everyone else. I had no focus, no ambition, no real desire to be there... I was just supposed to do it. After all, isn't that what eveyone is supposed to do? Ha! I did very poorly. In fact, there was one semester where I never even went to a single class and I never dropped them either. I got a job and rented an apartment. I just needed time to "come into my own" so to speak.
What learned is that later (about 10 years or so actually) when I went back to college with real ambition and a career in mind, I had to re-take all those classes to raise my G.P.A. (even thought they had nothing to do with my major) No college will ever forget your grades. I started with a .56 G.P.A. and I had to petition the college every semester to let me back in because my G.P.A. was so low. Finally, I dug myself out by getting good grades in my major and in the classes I had to re-take. But I could do it because I had a WILL to be there. I had a goal in sight, a purpose, a challenge and I wanted it.
I saw a lot of other students in that time make some very classic mistakes. There are some like yourself who don't really want to be there, fullfilling their parents expectations. OF COURSE you are depressed;who wouldn't if they felt they had no control in their life. So my advice to you is really do some soul searching and ask yourself what YOU want. That may be a VERY difficult question, especially when depressed. Your going to need help to do this, like a therapist. ... here's why.
Depression twists our perspective. For example, you believe "you haven't the skills to do this." Not true, you have all the academic ability, the money, the time ... but what you need is a purpose. Depression robs us of purpose. One of the key symptoms is hopelessness.
Also, you believe you are pathetic, can't handle life, not up to the challenge... again, classic symptoms of dysthymia depression. I'm not a doctor but I am very very sure based on what you have said. It reduces your concentration (thereby lowering your grades), causes you to isolate (thereby miss class and not seek social contact), produces feelings of despair and hopelessness, (thereby turning your mind against yourself by negative self talk and thoughts of hopelessness.)
I can't explain HOW this illness does all that but I know first hand IT DOES. And once treated the darkness, despair, hopelessness and feelings of low self worth will go away! Now please hear me, this is a serious illness. Were not talking about a head cold or flu. This requires therapy and prescriptions and recovery could take up to a year or more. But if you understand it's the illness that's at the root to these problems, not you, that's an excellent first step to recovery.
You could go to the Dr.'s on campus, they offer therapy and meds. You can continue at college but not for your parents sake, or cause you expect it of yourself, but because you want to learn about (fill in your choice) not because your parents expect it, or because it pays well, but because you are genuinely interested in it. Classic mistake number two at college is people pursuing careers based on financial gain or parents expectations, not actual DESIRE or WILL. Also, the therapy is a way to get those "skills" you feel you are lacking in your life right now. You will be able to share your struggle with a therapist and they can help you get through it, teach you ways to cope and handle. Like emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal skills. A therapist can help you with your addiction to computer and internet. A therapist will also help you keep a positive perspective while you battle this depression and help you sort out what YOU want out of life, etc.
Perspective is a powerful thing. Do you consider yourself a "failure" if you stop going to college? Or do you believe Vo-Tech is for underachievers? How you view something has a huge impact on how you feel. You are failing at college now and you can't get off the internet so you have labeled yourself pathetic. However, the truth is more like this: You have depression. It reduces your concentration thereby lowering your grades, causes you to isolate thereby miss class, produces feelings of despair and hopelessness, thereby turning your mind against yourself by telling yourself your pathetic. And if you believe that.. then you are only going to feel worse about yourself and your depression will get worse. It's just not true so please stop telling yourself that, k?
If I leave you with only only one thought I would like you to remember this. You are ok. You are not abnormal, or unable, or unstable. If you want to hate something and get angry.. get angry at the depression because THAT is the root to all this.
Ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Their is soo much more to life than college, or money or even friends for that matter. What does it take to make a person happy? While I was depressed I could only see what I DIDN'T have. What I COULDN'T be. I simply could NOT "think optimistically" or "pull it together" as we are often are told. But now that I am feeling better I am happy for what I have and who I am. So, the question isn't WHAT do you need to be happy but to understand happiness is a state of mind and being. Therapy and meds will help you reach that goal and it's worth it! They say one out of every 3 (maybe 4) people will or have experience a depressive episode at least once in their life.
Your going to be ok! Keep posting and lean on us for for support as you fight this. :hug:
College isn't an opportunity, or a place to socialize and meet friends, or have parties. It's training for what you want to do. It's also not not a "rest of your life" kinda decision either. You don't HAVE to go to college, you can change your mind, maybe take a few years off to think about what you really do want to do with your life.
When I first graduated from high school I went straight into college like everyone else. I had no focus, no ambition, no real desire to be there... I was just supposed to do it. After all, isn't that what eveyone is supposed to do? Ha! I did very poorly. In fact, there was one semester where I never even went to a single class and I never dropped them either. I got a job and rented an apartment. I just needed time to "come into my own" so to speak.
What learned is that later (about 10 years or so actually) when I went back to college with real ambition and a career in mind, I had to re-take all those classes to raise my G.P.A. (even thought they had nothing to do with my major) No college will ever forget your grades. I started with a .56 G.P.A. and I had to petition the college every semester to let me back in because my G.P.A. was so low. Finally, I dug myself out by getting good grades in my major and in the classes I had to re-take. But I could do it because I had a WILL to be there. I had a goal in sight, a purpose, a challenge and I wanted it.
I saw a lot of other students in that time make some very classic mistakes. There are some like yourself who don't really want to be there, fullfilling their parents expectations. OF COURSE you are depressed;who wouldn't if they felt they had no control in their life. So my advice to you is really do some soul searching and ask yourself what YOU want. That may be a VERY difficult question, especially when depressed. Your going to need help to do this, like a therapist. ... here's why.
Depression twists our perspective. For example, you believe "you haven't the skills to do this." Not true, you have all the academic ability, the money, the time ... but what you need is a purpose. Depression robs us of purpose. One of the key symptoms is hopelessness.
Also, you believe you are pathetic, can't handle life, not up to the challenge... again, classic symptoms of dysthymia depression. I'm not a doctor but I am very very sure based on what you have said. It reduces your concentration (thereby lowering your grades), causes you to isolate (thereby miss class and not seek social contact), produces feelings of despair and hopelessness, (thereby turning your mind against yourself by negative self talk and thoughts of hopelessness.)
I can't explain HOW this illness does all that but I know first hand IT DOES. And once treated the darkness, despair, hopelessness and feelings of low self worth will go away! Now please hear me, this is a serious illness. Were not talking about a head cold or flu. This requires therapy and prescriptions and recovery could take up to a year or more. But if you understand it's the illness that's at the root to these problems, not you, that's an excellent first step to recovery.
You could go to the Dr.'s on campus, they offer therapy and meds. You can continue at college but not for your parents sake, or cause you expect it of yourself, but because you want to learn about (fill in your choice) not because your parents expect it, or because it pays well, but because you are genuinely interested in it. Classic mistake number two at college is people pursuing careers based on financial gain or parents expectations, not actual DESIRE or WILL. Also, the therapy is a way to get those "skills" you feel you are lacking in your life right now. You will be able to share your struggle with a therapist and they can help you get through it, teach you ways to cope and handle. Like emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal skills. A therapist can help you with your addiction to computer and internet. A therapist will also help you keep a positive perspective while you battle this depression and help you sort out what YOU want out of life, etc.
Perspective is a powerful thing. Do you consider yourself a "failure" if you stop going to college? Or do you believe Vo-Tech is for underachievers? How you view something has a huge impact on how you feel. You are failing at college now and you can't get off the internet so you have labeled yourself pathetic. However, the truth is more like this: You have depression. It reduces your concentration thereby lowering your grades, causes you to isolate thereby miss class, produces feelings of despair and hopelessness, thereby turning your mind against yourself by telling yourself your pathetic. And if you believe that.. then you are only going to feel worse about yourself and your depression will get worse. It's just not true so please stop telling yourself that, k?
If I leave you with only only one thought I would like you to remember this. You are ok. You are not abnormal, or unable, or unstable. If you want to hate something and get angry.. get angry at the depression because THAT is the root to all this.
Ending your life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Their is soo much more to life than college, or money or even friends for that matter. What does it take to make a person happy? While I was depressed I could only see what I DIDN'T have. What I COULDN'T be. I simply could NOT "think optimistically" or "pull it together" as we are often are told. But now that I am feeling better I am happy for what I have and who I am. So, the question isn't WHAT do you need to be happy but to understand happiness is a state of mind and being. Therapy and meds will help you reach that goal and it's worth it! They say one out of every 3 (maybe 4) people will or have experience a depressive episode at least once in their life.
Your going to be ok! Keep posting and lean on us for for support as you fight this. :hug:
i go to college...it make me feel so stupid & it hurts alot :cry: and i have no friends