Anyone ever pray to die?
- Thread starter Hopeiseverything
- Start date
This will be the official first time I will speak on something like this so I'm sorry if there's an ill format. But yeah I can say I have, its a weird feeling thats for sure to not wanna harm myself in a lethal way but to be more passive about it. For instance I've started smoking in hopes ill maybe get cancer and I've been drinking more at a time so that maybe ill be poisoned, honestly anything that can be deemed 'natural'. The scariest part is that I don't even feel worry for the pain it might bring me. The only reason I really have done direct self harm is for my mom and three close friends that I care about very much. But its just a lot at the moment, ill leave it at that not to get too personal. But I really do just feel numb to everything, and if I'm not numb then its just anger outburst. There just haven't been many outlets that have worked out for me. Sorry for everyone else who is going through all of this, its awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I have no particular views on the afterlife, but I am also staying alive only for the people that care about me. There are dozens of people who would be affected because I have a large family. Every time I have gotten close something pulls me back from the edge. I want to live a good life and get healthy. OTOH as another mentioned if I got a serious illness I would let nature take its course. I'm experiencing emotional pain just about every day. I have so very much to be thankful for. I would not trade positions with probably 90% of the people on the planet. Yet, I still feel like heck. I don't even remember the last time I enjoyed anything that didn't involve addictive chemicals.
I was like that. Anything to give me the tiniest feeling of anything just something . Even to feel laughter but after a very long struggle and being effected by suicide myself I have come to understand no one drug or amount I drank would ever be a true smile and true inside belly laugh. And I missed that . There is a way out anyone on here that knows me and my long arse story will share in the fact that it has been a long hard slog and not everyday is a good one but what I do know is I was put on this earth for a reason and I am sure damn not going to let people, things , others peoples opinion or negativity take me back to a place where I was the one who wanted to check out of life...... hell no!!! I deserve a place as you do on this earth to smile again. Do we really enjoy the addictive stuff or is it just cause we escape reality maybe that’s the nice part but sadly when you come back or come down it’s the same shitty feeling but worse , paranoia, hate , self loathing . ! I get you and I get all you have said. There is a way I promise you . To find that inner smile right from your core. You just have to work on finding it xxxxxx
I used to every night before I fell asleep. When I awoke I would sigh and drag myself into the meaningless motions of my old existence. I’m grateful now that those prayers weren’t answered. I’m no longer surviving but living. Things can get better. There is a better way to live. You just have to seek it to find it.
When you said that God does not answer prayers that go against his teachings-- do you have a specific verse that you can quote? No, not arguing, but still want to know.
Anyway, doing such a prayer is certainly better than looking for an actual ctb method.
In my case, you could say that my type of prayer is a kind of Compromise because I pray not to die right away but rather a year from now. In a twisted sort of way, it's a compromise because I still would do a lot of accomplishments between the present and my death. I mean that I really enjoy life but the fact that my Health problems increase as I grow older (as I'm in my late 60s) is why I pray that I die before I get too old. After all, getting Dimentia in which I become a mental vegetable is horrific to me. Anyway, I hope you can answer my question about that verse.
Anyway, doing such a prayer is certainly better than looking for an actual ctb method.
In my case, you could say that my type of prayer is a kind of Compromise because I pray not to die right away but rather a year from now. In a twisted sort of way, it's a compromise because I still would do a lot of accomplishments between the present and my death. I mean that I really enjoy life but the fact that my Health problems increase as I grow older (as I'm in my late 60s) is why I pray that I die before I get too old. After all, getting Dimentia in which I become a mental vegetable is horrific to me. Anyway, I hope you can answer my question about that verse.
Hi Winslow
I feel People lied about the holy books and God. The concept that God inspired man to write Bible is taken on blind faith. Anyone can claim they talk to dead people or that God told them the stories. Historians say that none of the Bible was written by witnesses of Jesus Christ. They were written much too late to have been. Do yes I feel lied to. The Turin Cloth with Jesus Christ image has been proven to be false. Another lie.
I feel People lied about the holy books and God. The concept that God inspired man to write Bible is taken on blind faith. Anyone can claim they talk to dead people or that God told them the stories. Historians say that none of the Bible was written by witnesses of Jesus Christ. They were written much too late to have been. Do yes I feel lied to. The Turin Cloth with Jesus Christ image has been proven to be false. Another lie.
