ok, here's the thing... my boyfriend is an asshole. i don't trust him. he sends private messages to one of my friends telling her that he likes her and wants to have sex with her, and that he doesn't really like me that much. my boyfriend told me about the messages, saying that he was just testing the girl to see if she was a good friend. i thought he only did it once, but he keeps doing it, and it worries me. and i just recently read the conversation between them and it is really bad. i mean it's so much worse then i thought it would be. it actually made me cry for at least a half an hour. and i NEVER cry. i don't want to beleive that he would cheat on me, but i just can't beleive him when he tells me that he's only testing her, and there's nothing to worry about. i mean deep down, i honestly don't think that he would cheat on me, even though now he is kinda crossing the line i think. i think with him, just the thought of sneaking around and doing something behind my back excites him a little bit, but he wouldn't cheat on me. would he? and there is so much other shit that he pulls, and there are so many problems with him, and he never seems to get any better. he just causes me so much stress all the time. i worry about him so much. there are just so many things wrong with this boy, i can't even go into it. i'm feeling so suffocatted because of him. i'm so confused and i feel so trapped.
i just really don't know what to do any more. if it wasn't for the fact that i loved him so much, and wanted to be with him so badly, and if he didn't seem so perfect for me , i know i would have already dumped him. but i just don't see myself with anyone but him. that's why i can't leave him. i've fallen in love with someone i never should have fallen in love with.
has it ever hurt so much to love someone, that you didn't want to love them anymore?
i just really don't know what to do any more. if it wasn't for the fact that i loved him so much, and wanted to be with him so badly, and if he didn't seem so perfect for me , i know i would have already dumped him. but i just don't see myself with anyone but him. that's why i can't leave him. i've fallen in love with someone i never should have fallen in love with.
has it ever hurt so much to love someone, that you didn't want to love them anymore?