Attempting but not dying?

[Laylita P.]

Okay, I was searching methods of suicide when this popped up. <mod edit - methods> I've been considering suicide for a rather long time, but I'm extremely scared of dying (I think?). I guess it's a "cry for help"? I want to attempt but I don't want to die; I want to be found. Ive told my boyfriend, my mum and my friend how much I'm hurting, but they haven't ever taken it serious or ever tried to help. Instead I've been called "stupid" and been told "your fine, you should try my mental illness, it's way worse". I just want people to understand and realise I'm serious. Im constantly helping my family, friends and supporting them when they are going through hard times. I'm sick of people pretending i don't exist or my problems don't. I want to show them. But I don't want to die. Is anyone else the same? Does anyone have any advice other than ringing helpline or telling me I'm looking for attention.

 

[may71]

Sorry to hear that you are going through this Laylita

Ive told my boyfriend, my mum and my friend how much I'm hurting, but they haven't ever taken it serious or ever tried to help. Instead I've been called "stupid" and been told "your fine, you should try my mental illness, it's way worse". I just want people to understand and realise I'm serious

It's bad enough to feel suicidal in the first place, but it's even worse when the people around you don't take you seriously or give you any support. It's even worse when they add insults like calling you "stupid". I wish your boyfriend, mum, and friend were better to you.

You'll be taken seriously here. I hope that SF can help you to get through this.

Do you feel like your friendship and relationship are overall worthwhile? You may be able to work out some of the problems if they are. Otherwise, it may be better to leave these relationships.

If your relationships are not working the way they should, a suicide attempt would not solve the problem. If they're not taking you seriously now, they probably won't even after you made an attempt. It sounds like they are just making up excuses to mistreat you, and if they are in the habit of doing that, they probably aren't going to change their behavior because of an attempt.

Confronting them is the most likely path to getting them to change, if they are going to change at all.

Does anyone have any advice other than ringing helpline or telling me I'm looking for attention

Have you tried seeing a therapist? It sounds like a therapist would be able to give you some of validation that you haven't been able to find in your relationships.

Medication is probably a good idea too, at least until you no longer feel at risk for an attempt.

The links in my signature also have some more information about treatment options.

 

[drinty]

You wish to attempt but not die, I wish to die but can't even attempt it.

I feel your pain, I do hope you find what you need to be happy. The people here are very supportive.

 

[Lara_C]

I just want people to understand and realise I'm serious. Im constantly helping my family, friends and supporting them when they are going through hard times. I'm sick of people pretending i don't exist or my problems don't. I want to show them.

Hi @Laylita P. I'm sorry you're hurting so much and the people around you don't seem to be taking you seriously, but I have to agree with may71 that making an attempt is not only not the best way to help yourself, it's also not very likely to bring about the understanding and support you would like from the people you mention. While it's very important not to keep your feelings to yourself, it's better to share them with others who accept and understand what it's like to feel this bad, for example, here on SF, and/or with a qualified professional therapist or counsellor. Generally I would urge you not to wait for others to change but to take charge of your own health and well-being and seek out the help you need from others who are able to give it. It might also be a good idea to discuss how you're feeling and thinking with your doctor as a course of meds helps many people to recover.

 

[lightning05]

I also agree with may and lara about the relationships in your life. No one should ever call you stupid for being depressed or suicidal. Unfortunately if you do attempt, like everyone else said, they would most likely still say the same things. If you aren't seeing a counselor maybe you should try. I'm not sure where you live, but if you are in school or have insurance you can find information on this. Or you can call a hotline and I'm sure they'd have some really useful information for you. You need to start seeking happiness for you so you can try to relieve yourself of this pain that is leading you to suicidal ideation. I'm really sorry you are struggling. I hope SF can help you the way it's helped so many.

 

[dugga]

Hi @Laylita P. - sorry you are hurting but an attempt won't help. Have you thought about what would happen if the attempt succeeded? Accidents happen and I know you really don't want to die. If you can't get help at home have you thought about seeing a counsellor and getting some professional assistance? They could also give you strategies to help you speak to your family. No one should be made to feel stupid for expressing how they feel - your pain is real and should be taken seriously. There are caring people who will give you what you need to get better. I hope life improves for you soon - take care.

 

[AlexiMarie7]

It isn't bad in itself to want attention, especially when you are hurting. But harming yourself is not a healthy way to go about it and can seriously backfire making things a lot worse.

Have you told a doctor how you feel? I think getting treatment would be good for you, but you could also have a medical professional explain your situation to your family so that they understand properly how serious it is.

Please focus more on getting better, rather than "showing them", but still feeling badly, or maybe even worse.

It really sucks when you are always there for people but don't feel it reciprocated.