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Bad break up

#1
Ok so my girlfriend and I just broke up. I love this girl more than anything in the world and would do anything to get her back. We were arguing quite a bit and we always got over it. Now she says she has had enough of arguing and that she is completely done and she doesn't love me anymore. She has become my rock, bestfriend, and love of my life. I can't get her out of my head. We go to the same college and see her quite frequently because of our class schedules. I am so tired of hurting and I don't know what to do. I even questioned if God was real. I grew up Methodist and don't understand why God would make me go through all of this hurt. I just want to get her back and fix everything.

Please help and share advice!
 
#2
Hi Seth,

Sorry to hear that you are going through this.

You might want to try to to go to couples counseling with her, if she is willing to go.

A lot of colleges have free counseling available. You might want to ask someone in the counseling office if they are willing/able to do couples counseling.

It could be that someday that you and her will get back together. The best way to help make that happen is to learn to be ok being on your own. It's really almost impossible to make a relationship work if you literally can't live without someone.

Even if she won't go to couples counseling, you might want to go to counseling just for you.

Medication might be a good idea too, at least until you feel like you are not suicidal.

The links in my signature might be worth looking at.

Hope that things can get better soon!
 

Luoma

Need someone to talk to? I'm here!
SF Supporter
#3
Hey Seth, it's very nice to meet you. My name is Luoma, and I want to firstly welcome you to the forums! I hope you find the care and support you are looking for here.

I usually give the same advice to everyone who is having a breakup, but that's because it's good advice. Seth, I know everything seems like it's falling apart. I know you feel as if she was the only one you could ever possibly love. And it might be hard to accept, but I want to tell you that there will be other people who come along in your life. There can be another girl who can treat you the same way, or can help be your rock later on in life. Or perhaps you're not going to date them, but there can be new friends, too, who can help ease the pain of losing her.

The most important thing is to not focus on that and take time for yourself. Let yourself heal, okay?

And like May said above, it's possible that you two could technically get back together, but you do need to sort out your inner pain first. I know it's hard. But, in a week, you'll notice that the pain of losing her will eventually start to go down little by little. You just have to keep fighting, and keep pushing forwards. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her either, but it's not good to be in a relationship where there's arguing, for both you and for her. Because later on in life, that arguing becomes really, really toxic and you don't want a marriage ruined and kids caught in the middle.

Also, I know it's hard to look forwards, but is it possible that you two could be friends in the future? You don't have to do so right now, because I know that it must be so hard to see her, but in the future perhaps you two could still be friends so she could still support you like she used to.

I wanna wish you the best, okay? stay strong and stay safe. It gets better. -hug-
 
#4
May, thank you but I do not have the money for medication much less going to see a doctor. It is so hard to be on my own because of all the external factors. (school, work, family, etc..) I understand that I need to let myself heal but I feel I would be healed with her back in my life. I'm scared to text or call her cause then I sound desperate and I also don't want to smother her. I also think being friends with her would hurt me even more because I wouldn't know how to cope with it.

Luoma, nobody has ever been like her. She understands me, she cares for me, and she loves me. We like the same things and hate the same things. We are more compatible than anybody I have ever met. My family loves her as well and they are not making matters any better. She fits into my life like the last piece of the puzzle. Yes, we get into arguments. But most of the time they are not legitimate to even be arguing about.
 

Taz8

Well-Known Member
#6
Seth I hope things have worked out for you since our last chat I hope you're feeling better and have sorted things out with yourself GF
 
#7
No things have not gotten better. Still haven't slept and still haven't ate. All I want is to have her back. I can't think straight and I'm scared to contact her because of the fear she will just blow me off or it making things worse
 

Walker

Admin
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#8
Hey man. I know that break ups at 19 feel like the end of the world. You feel like this person is the missing piece & "the one" & everything you've ever wanted. I get it. I know the feeling.
The truth is this girl is only the beginning of the girls in your life Seth. You don't realize it right now but it's true. In 6 months you will not, will not, will not be wallowing around not eating or sleeping or studying because of her. So even though you feel like absolute shit right now keep your head clear when you're thinking about how depressed you are. No woman is worth killing yourself over. None. You're the one living this life. Make it something great. You've barely started out yet - you've got loads more to do yet Seth, including dating a whole lot more people (which also means breaking up with a load too so learn to do it now while you're young eh)
Good luck guy. You got this. Hang in there & keep your head up.
 
#9
Avs fan, I really do appreciate that, but the fact of the mater is that she was the one. Everything was great (minus the arguing). We had pretty much everything in common. (and please don't pull the opposites attract card). She loves football and hockey just like me. We loved the same music, food, tv shows, etc. She was the best thing that has ever came into my life. I get that I am 19, but i can honestly say she was the one. I don't have any idea what to do to get her back. We both said some things that we probably didn't mean the other night and it really sucks because i know those things can never be taken back. I forgive her for everything that she has said. I just don't ant to go o without her.

Ive had bad break ups before. I got over them because she showed me that me and her had true love. The other relationships before were "puppy love". I never wasnt to go back to that. My life before her was a complete SHIT. When we got together, all of that went away. She helped me in every way possible. She took care of me even on my worst days. She always loved me for me and that is more that i could ever ask for. I just want her back and I am scared to death that it will never happen. I want out of everything if she is not in my life.
 

Kira

•✮• SF Gelfling •✮•
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#10
Hi Seth. I met you in chat yesterday. Someone suggested writing her a letter. Have you considered doing that yet? I really hope that things improve for you. I know it's hard and really horrible, I'm not denying that. I just hope you can find a way to move forward.
 
#11
My life is still sucking. I wrote her a letter but haven't sent it yet. I don't want to lose her. She is going back home this weekend and I'm scared that her mom will fill her head with bad stuff about me. I still haven't eaten since Monday. I have slept maybe 2 hours total the past 3 nights. I just want her back
 
#12
I still haven't eaten since Monday. I have slept maybe 2 hours total the past 3 nights.
If you see a doctor, they may be able to give you some medication that will help you deal with this in the short term. Not eating and not sleeping is not good.

The links in my signature might help
 

Taz8

Well-Known Member
#13
Seth how's things with u now my freind just was abit concerned hope everything is OK, u should really try eat something
 
#14
Still shitty. Tired talking to her on Friday and it blew up in my face. Idk what to even do anymore. Last night I was so lightheaded it made me sick, but I was just dry heaving cause I had nothing on my stomach and felt terrible.

I just want to have her back and it is killing me. I don't want to go on without her in my life because she is all I have and all I want.
 
#16
But that's the thing, I'm at my breaking point. I can't lose her. I need her. I love this girl. I can't even look myself in the mirror without wanted to try and punch myself through it. I miss her so much and it is killing me with every day that goes by.
 

moxman

The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat
SF Supporter
#17
Hello Seth, I am Barry

It sounds like you are going through an awful lot. I hate to hear that anyone is struggling badly.

What coping mechanisms are you using to help you with this difficult time?

Are you going for walks to get out of the house some?

How are you sleeping? That is extremely important to both your mental/physical health.

How are you eating?

A lack of both of these will make your emotional problems much, much worse. Trust me, I have been there.

Does your school have a counselor you can talk too?

Feel free to read all about me below and ask if you have any questions about anything.
 
#19
Haven't been sleeping but maybe and hour a night. Wake up crying because it is a constant playback of her leaving. I'm never hungry. I've eaten maybe once since then. I do not want to go to the school to find someone. There are no coping mechanisms that are helping. I've tried everything
 
#20
Haven't been sleeping but maybe and hour a night. Wake up crying because it is a constant playback of her leaving. I'm never hungry. I've eaten maybe once since then. I do not want to go to the school to find someone. There are no coping mechanisms that are helping. I've tried everything
Can you please see a doctor Seth? Not sleeping and not eating for so long...I'm worried
 

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