The only thing keeping me from ending it all is my daughter. And Ifeel worse when I think about hurting myself cuz my daughter didn't do anything wrong so why should she go without having a father
Well said. Yes, your daughter is a very important reason to stay around. I am sorry you have to deal with that. I have had hernia surgery. Sorry you have a hernia. No fun. But the situaltion will be temporary. Not that this is much consolation in the moment.
I also understand about loosing the things that made everthing feel balanced enough to continue on. I have lost two of the things that were the most important to me. Cooking and baking amazing creations for people and planting in my garden. I live alone. And it was the times I got to see people).
When I lost what little money I had everything came crashing in. I was keeping the house of cards going by things that cost a bit of money. Not much. But still I had to stop it all when the money went away 3 years ago. At that very same time, my health crashed. Causing my "house of cards" to crash in on me. And yes, I did actually have to start taking meds. Although I am not saying that will be your situation.
Sometimes, when we keep that house of cards up, we never get to face whats underneeth it. And therefore we do not get to heal some of that stuff. Hernias are temporary. Just please be careful to not overdo it pre-op. And through the post op time. You have come to a very good place, (SF). Lots of understanding supportive people here.