When I think back at my life, I realize that I was, for the most time, truly alone. My parents aren't divorced or anything. But, my father leaves the house at 7 am and comes back around 7 pm. (He works in another city).
My mother tried her best, but was never truly there. Especially in the last few years. But my main problem is my relationship between others and me. I'm 19 and never had a relationship. I was never even close. Never kissed, still virgin, god dammit I never even held the hand of a woman. To be honest with you, I don't know why. The usual kind of response I get is always "just be yourself" or some crap. And at this point, I hate all of that advise. I can hold a relationship up, I had a friend who had one GF after the other, and most of the time, I was sitting at home, texting him, texting her and was just trying to get them back together. (What worked most of the time).
He was that kind of guy, that I've only met two times now in my life. He wasn't an ass, he was, in fact, more of a nice guy. And every girl fell for him. Maybe it were his looks, maybe something else. I don't know. But we literally sat at a bus stop one day, and a random girl, that neither of us ever saw came towards him, and gave him her number. He had to snap with a finger, and he would get all the ladies.
I've met another one of that kind a couple of days ago. He didn't even looked that great. Pretty average with tendencies towards the "Typical gamer" cliche. Uncleaned hair, pretty thin, and shy. He talked to nobody, and still, all the girls wanted him.
And those two are the top examples for me, of how women think. And in my opinion, every person is determined for their life with "is attractive" or "is not attractive" from the start of their life. Maybe it's like a coin toss. One side is "He/She is lucky, and will get all of the love in this world" and the other side is "He/She's alone. No matter what he/she does, nobody will love him/her"
And if you say now "I bet you just never go out and talk to people!", well I've got to say, yes I go out rarely. But still. I have approached around 50 different girls now (I FUCKING COUNTED), and was never lucky. Not even once. I've tried the slow approach, the fast approach, being the good guy, being the bad boy, the party man, the shy gamer, EVERYTHING. Nothing works. I bet you 50€, that if you can name me one thing that you believe I never tried, that I did it.
At this point, I've simply given up. When I turn 21, I'll get myself an Escort (It's a prostitute that makes home visits, and is most of the time around 21 - 29) to not die a virgin, and live my life from that point on out. I simply don't want to put all of my courage together to approach someone, just to have it crushed immediately or a few days after.
My mother tried her best, but was never truly there. Especially in the last few years. But my main problem is my relationship between others and me. I'm 19 and never had a relationship. I was never even close. Never kissed, still virgin, god dammit I never even held the hand of a woman. To be honest with you, I don't know why. The usual kind of response I get is always "just be yourself" or some crap. And at this point, I hate all of that advise. I can hold a relationship up, I had a friend who had one GF after the other, and most of the time, I was sitting at home, texting him, texting her and was just trying to get them back together. (What worked most of the time).
He was that kind of guy, that I've only met two times now in my life. He wasn't an ass, he was, in fact, more of a nice guy. And every girl fell for him. Maybe it were his looks, maybe something else. I don't know. But we literally sat at a bus stop one day, and a random girl, that neither of us ever saw came towards him, and gave him her number. He had to snap with a finger, and he would get all the ladies.
I've met another one of that kind a couple of days ago. He didn't even looked that great. Pretty average with tendencies towards the "Typical gamer" cliche. Uncleaned hair, pretty thin, and shy. He talked to nobody, and still, all the girls wanted him.
And those two are the top examples for me, of how women think. And in my opinion, every person is determined for their life with "is attractive" or "is not attractive" from the start of their life. Maybe it's like a coin toss. One side is "He/She is lucky, and will get all of the love in this world" and the other side is "He/She's alone. No matter what he/she does, nobody will love him/her"
And if you say now "I bet you just never go out and talk to people!", well I've got to say, yes I go out rarely. But still. I have approached around 50 different girls now (I FUCKING COUNTED), and was never lucky. Not even once. I've tried the slow approach, the fast approach, being the good guy, being the bad boy, the party man, the shy gamer, EVERYTHING. Nothing works. I bet you 50€, that if you can name me one thing that you believe I never tried, that I did it.
At this point, I've simply given up. When I turn 21, I'll get myself an Escort (It's a prostitute that makes home visits, and is most of the time around 21 - 29) to not die a virgin, and live my life from that point on out. I simply don't want to put all of my courage together to approach someone, just to have it crushed immediately or a few days after.