i've got one real friend. i've got another friend who i haven't seen much lately and we used to kick it a lot, but i was never entirely sure if he had my back. i really liked him and all but i was always unsure of his loyalty (he always said he was loyal, but i never felt he proved it and i always felt he didn't like people knowing he was buds with me). to start, i'm a 16 year old male in 10th grade high school. i'm not ugly or fat, either. i honestly have no group of friends. i have no little group to associate with like everyone else does. surprisingly enough, i'm not angry at myself nor am i jealous of those who have a group. i'm angry at the world and at everyone else for not appreciating me. why doesn't anyone want to know me? is genuineness a turnoff?
right now i'm feeling really sad and lonely with a very large amount of underlying anger. i'm not an angry person and i'm bad at dealing with anger and tend to bottle it, and it hurts having it in. sadness i can wallow in but anger feels like eats me. it's like i'm feeling depressed and alone, but under all that there is a very sharp anger that's screaming to get out. i hate feeling angry, i'd rather be miserable. i hate school due to having no clique and due to my natural quietness and shyness i prefer not to approach people. on top of that i'm miles ahead of my classmates as far as maturity is concerned as well as taste (as in music and such).
i know i'm not the only one that feels this way, but it sure does feel like there is really no one else on my level in the school. if you feel like saying i'm trying to act beyond my years, have fun because pretentious is the last thing i consider myself.
tl;dr wah wah wah. :/
right now i'm feeling really sad and lonely with a very large amount of underlying anger. i'm not an angry person and i'm bad at dealing with anger and tend to bottle it, and it hurts having it in. sadness i can wallow in but anger feels like eats me. it's like i'm feeling depressed and alone, but under all that there is a very sharp anger that's screaming to get out. i hate feeling angry, i'd rather be miserable. i hate school due to having no clique and due to my natural quietness and shyness i prefer not to approach people. on top of that i'm miles ahead of my classmates as far as maturity is concerned as well as taste (as in music and such).
i know i'm not the only one that feels this way, but it sure does feel like there is really no one else on my level in the school. if you feel like saying i'm trying to act beyond my years, have fun because pretentious is the last thing i consider myself.
tl;dr wah wah wah. :/