Borderline Personality Disorder | What is BPD? | Signs of BPD

[Innocent Forever]

What I was asking was whether you thought the experience itself changed or just how you were perceiving or interpreting the experience. I saw you use the example of physical pain in your diary. If something feels like it physically hurts and then doesn't, that's an experience. Well, 2 different experiences, actually. The question is, however, do you just stop paying attention to the pain and focus elsewhere, and that's why you don't notice it hurting anymore or does it seem as though it actually did hurt but then simply didn't out of nowhere, without you doing anything that you're aware of.

Words like "switching/cutting off" can be difficult to interpret sometimes. In a way, what you described sounds sort of like dissociation, but that's only if you're tuning away, (usually from something negative) so much so that you are no longer aware of the original thing anymore, into something else.

Dissociation can be part of BPD too, but not necessarily. And you don't have to keep explaining yourself further by the way if you don't want to or it feels exhausting.

The experience itself. Like the physical pain - but the physical pain is, I've learned, emotional (meaning the stuff like not breathing, shaking, freezing, choking, not like when I bang my hand, for that passes or I tune in or tune out, but I don't cut off from such things). I don't stop paying attention, more that it is - and then it isn't. It's funny, wrong word funny, but, understanding this has given me an understanding of why I always felt like I was creating stuff that didn't exist. That I was saying stuff that wasn't true. Because when I would begin saying it, it just wasn't. Isn't.
I was kinda wondering about disassociation, but, I don't disassociate - I mean, not really. Because yeah I'd tune out, but the word disassociation really describes stuff way further than this.
Not sure if this makes any more sense....
And it would have been exhausting to reply then, but only saw this now. More frustrating than exhausting, that I can't actually find the words to explain what I mean (mainly because whatever I understand, I don't really understand it and am trying to understand it myself).

 

[hellyeahwhatever]

Dear friends,

I am from a psychology bachelor background and I have past experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts, involving in toxic romantic relationship and unhealthy family relationship, which led me to have test result from professional saying I inclined to have BPD (previously diagnosed and treated for depression).

It's just that currently I thought what if I don't? I mean is BPD really a thing? My ex always said I nagged and demanded to be understood, that I overdramatised things and use this BPD as a 'playing victim' card. Also I still struggle a lot dealing with losing him (fear of abandonment?) But I'm actually confused... is it just me, self-fulfilling prophecy that I have BPD (because I learned about it too in psychology)

I never talked to anyone that I have BPD (or the inclination to BPD), only my therapist and my ex. I don't even know is this really BPD or is it just me (like everyone else would say and have said) being in the 20s and being confused with future plans, so nothing to be worried about.

At one side, sometimes I feel people don't take me seriously... but at other side, I slowly begin to believe them.. am I just a f—up drama queen?

 

[Innocent Forever]

At one side, sometimes I feel people don't take me seriously... but at other side, I slowly begin to believe them.. am I just a f—up drama queen?

Does it really make a difference?
The point of a diagnoses is just to help get treatment. Being a drama queen would be because you can't handle what is. So learning how to handle your emotions and ask for what you want in a healthy way is always a good thing. Lotsa hugs.

 

[Aurelia]

Dear friends,

I am from a psychology bachelor background and I have past experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts, involving in toxic romantic relationship and unhealthy family relationship, which led me to have test result from professional saying I inclined to have BPD (previously diagnosed and treated for depression).

It's just that currently I thought what if I don't? I mean is BPD really a thing? My ex always said I nagged and demanded to be understood, that I overdramatised things and use this BPD as a 'playing victim' card. Also I still struggle a lot dealing with losing him (fear of abandonment?) But I'm actually confused... is it just me, self-fulfilling prophecy that I have BPD (because I learned about it too in psychology)

I never talked to anyone that I have BPD (or the inclination to BPD), only my therapist and my ex. I don't even know is this really BPD or is it just me (like everyone else would say and have said) being in the 20s and being confused with future plans, so nothing to be worried about.

At one side, sometimes I feel people don't take me seriously... but at other side, I slowly begin to believe them.. am I just a f—up drama queen?

It doesn't matter if it's a self-fulfilled prophecy or not. Bottom line is, you have the behaviors that you have, and you can't stop, right? As far as your ex, sounds like he's the one making excuses because he couldn't handle you.

 

[Aurelia]

It sometimes seems as though people who don't have BPD think us Borderlines are sentimental and adorable. Yeah? Try living with us and when you get a blunt object thrown in your general direction, then tell me how adorable you think we are. Don't sign up for or judge what you can't handle.

 

[Nick]

Dear friends,

I am from a psychology bachelor background and I have past experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts, involving in toxic romantic relationship and unhealthy family relationship, which led me to have test result from professional saying I inclined to have BPD (previously diagnosed and treated for depression).

It's just that currently I thought what if I don't? I mean is BPD really a thing? My ex always said I nagged and demanded to be understood, that I overdramatised things and use this BPD as a 'playing victim' card. Also I still struggle a lot dealing with losing him (fear of abandonment?) But I'm actually confused... is it just me, self-fulfilling prophecy that I have BPD (because I learned about it too in psychology)

I never talked to anyone that I have BPD (or the inclination to BPD), only my therapist and my ex. I don't even know is this really BPD or is it just me (like everyone else would say and have said) being in the 20s and being confused with future plans, so nothing to be worried about.

At one side, sometimes I feel people don't take me seriously... but at other side, I slowly begin to believe them.. am I just a f—up drama queen?

Whether or not I have BPD will depend on which psychiatrist I talk to. I've been definitively diagnosed with ASD, which doesn't exclude me from BPD, but there is cross symptoms. Do I have BPD? Do I not have BPD? That particular diagnosis does help explain the idiosyncrasies that ASD is not a fit for.

Do you have it or don't? The question is, do the symptoms fit? The professional believes they do, or they wouldn't have made that diagnosis. Most psychiatrists, even with advances in understanding, still hesitate to give out a BPD diagnosis. That would lead me to believe, at the very least, you have enough features to make it worth seeking specific treatment for. The only purpose of a diagnosis, in this case, is to provide understanding and directed treatment options.

You are who you are, and all you can do is work from there.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm tired of being told I'm being borderline or whatever. Sometimes I can be hurt or have feelings without it being the cause of a disorder. I'm much more than that.

 

[full]

I'm tired of being told I'm being borderline or whatever. Sometimes I can be hurt or have feelings without it being the cause of a disorder. I'm much more than that.

Yes you are, but for some people it is easer to shove us aside with an excuse we are being borderline instead of understanding and dealing with the situation at hand. I am sorry it happened to you as well.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Yeah it's just....I want to be seen as more than just a borderline person. I'm multifaceted and can't just be placed into a box and labeled.

 

[full]

Exactly. It seems an uphill battle at times because, yes, it is part of who we are and how we function and deal with it as best as we can, then someone who knows our diagnosis comes and blurts shit out referring to borderline whereas we just felt what we felt or did and it had nothing to do with being a borderline but a natural response to what is going on.

 

[dandelions]

I want to be seen as more than just a borderline person.

It seems an uphill battle at times because, yes, it is part of who we are and how we function and deal with it as best as we can,

actually i listen to people who are borderline or may be and i don’t really pick up on anything that seems like strikingly “borderline” . even when someone here mentions that they are, i don’t think it shows. i know that there are probably times, and maybe those are times when a person is upset about something, but even then, people do get upset. i see it that way. but even seeing it this way, i think i’ve noticed borderlineism being noticed the most by healthcare professionals (mental included) who will not give credit for just being a person. there are times my PCP completely ignores my health remarks. i think they just think to themselves, this guy is borderline or whatever and does not take the health complaint seriously. same too in the DBT group in the intensive program i was in a year ago, the psychologist running the group would treat certain of the people in the group like babies. they were not necessarily acting borderline at the moment but how they were being treated brought it out. sometimes i think society just makes things worse for the supposedly disordered which is in itself a disorder needing treatment.

 

[Ellie Grey]

I've been having a really rough time. I have bpd. Can anyone talk to me please?

 

[recovering]

New here newly diagnosed with bpd any advice for me

 

[justrob]

I am really hoping for good results from the therapy I will be getting next month. A little anxious about it but my doctor has reassured me that it's best to give it a try. I have been waiting for a break like this for years. I have high hopes going into this. I hope it helps improve my social skills and how I interact with other people. I hope it will help me be calmer and not as panicky as I usually am. I have severe anxiety so I just hope this is for me.

Thanks for this very informative and helpful article!

Best wishes for your therapy.

 

[Petal]

Best wishes for your therapy.

That therapy is over, i'm in a different therapy now It helps a lot. Thanks for your warm wishes

 

[Innocent Forever]

New here newly diagnosed with bpd any advice for me

Hey @recovering
Welcome to SF
I don't know how much advice I have. It's helpful to understand yourself and to know yourself, which is the purpose of a diagnosis. Living with BPD ain't easy, but it also can be fun
I'm glad you're here

 

[SA76]

I have ignored the diagnoses for years of BPD, but reading about it again sounds just like me, though I internalise my anger.
I’m hopeless at making friends, and not a supportive family.
I asked my dr about the BPD diagnoses, as it is on a recent discharge summary report from a surgery I had, she just said that I’m treated for depression.
At the moment I can my Physcologist twice a week. But then other times I have 5 weeks in between appointments, I don’t understand why so much, then nothing.

 

[Aurelia]

actually i listen to people who are borderline or may be and i don’t really pick up on anything that seems like strikingly “borderline” . even when someone here mentions that they are, i don’t think it shows. i know that there are probably times, and maybe those are times when a person is upset about something, but even then, people do get upset. i see it that way. but even seeing it this way, i think i’ve noticed borderlineism being noticed the most by healthcare professionals (mental included) who will not give credit for just being a person. there are times my PCP completely ignores my health remarks. i think they just think to themselves, this guy is borderline or whatever and does not take the health complaint seriously. same too in the DBT group in the intensive program i was in a year ago, the psychologist running the group would treat certain of the people in the group like babies. they were not necessarily acting borderline at the moment but how they were being treated brought it out. sometimes i think society just makes things worse for the supposedly disordered which is in itself a disorder needing treatment.

I'm a bit late on this, but I never saw this post of yours. I agree with you that with some people on here who claim to be borderline, I don't even notice any borderline symptoms. I don't know if I ever come across as borderline to anyone either, but I know I sure as hell do to myself lol because I don't say everything I want to say all the time. If I did, it would probably be more noticeable, lol.

 

[dandelions]

I'm a bit late on this, but I never saw this post of yours. I agree with you that with some people on here who claim to be borderline, I don't even notice any borderline symptoms. I don't know if I ever come across as borderline to anyone either, but I know I sure as hell do to myself lol because I don't say everything I want to say all the time. If I did, it would probably be more noticeable, lol.

I think while many are and might be experiencing it at any particular moment, we are also here at times like this to talk about it and not as a result of it. I've been feeling lately that I'm not really that much borderline yet ironically, my therapist has been considering it more. But I think it shows in me when I'm being antagonized. I have gotten excessive in what I say. I've routinely rejected dbt in dbt group yet like some kind of recording machine I have retained it and at unexpected times catch myself behaving instead of reacting.

 

[Aurelia]

I think while many are and might be experiencing it at any particular moment, we are also here at times like this to talk about it and not as a result of it. I've been feeling lately that I'm not really that much borderline yet ironically, my therapist has been considering it more. But I think it shows in me when I'm being antagonized. I have gotten excessive in what I say. I've routinely rejected dbt in dbt group yet like some kind of recording machine I have retained it and at unexpected times catch myself behaving instead of reacting.

I don't like DBT. It's too obvious for me. Just seems like shit I already know and have known for a long time. That's the biggest problem with therapy. They tell you what you NEED to do, as if you don't already know, but not how to implement it.