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Borderline Personality Disorder | What is BPD? | Signs of BPD

Butterfly

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Unfortunately mind reading isn't a skill that human beings possess. We are simple creatures. We have to be to told what is needed from us. It's not that people don't care. It's that they don't know unless you tell them. And that is something that resides with you.

Now in my case... I believe everyone can read my mind and it's very unnerving :(
 

Angel368

Well-Known Member
hi i'm just wondering I initially (thinking) that I don't want to get intimate and have intercourse with partner, but I can't help myself when I already meet my partner. Is this part of a bpd symptom?
I read promiscuity is a symptom of BPD. Also we are an all or nothing people, so I think trying to hold back and be cautious or 'sensible' is very difficult. I had the same problem when I was dating.
 

Angie74

Well-Known Member
I'm done seeking help for this disorder. People (medical/psychiatric proffesionals) focus exclusively on the fact that I have BPD, but i also have Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and complex, compounded PTSD. In fact, I'm almost done seeking mental health help, period. I'll still see my shrink for meds, but I am completely and thoroughly done with CBT and DBT. More and more, I'm thinking BPD is a diagnosis given when they actually don't know what is wrong with you, and/or are unwilling to admit that they don't know know how to help you. It's kind of like a doctor saying something is idiopathic in origin-that is simply professional speak for "we actually know f*** all, but we have to come back and tell you something, so idiopathic, it is. You're not even treated like a human half the time if you have this disorder. And I'm tired of being told that I'm not trying hard enough, that I simply must use more coping techniques, (when others like my therapist have already praised my (their words) extraordinary coping techniques), and to essentially just grin and bare it. They wonder about my need to sometimes be frequently hospitalized, and criticize it. Reality is, they started throwing me in the psych ward when I was 7 years old, and if I total it, I have probably spent a total of about 4 years in psychiatric wards. So, how did I get institutionalized?? I wonder. They completely refuse to acknowledge their complicit role in creating dependency.
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
I'm done seeking help for this disorder. People (medical/psychiatric proffesionals) focus exclusively on the fact that I have BPD, but i also have Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and complex, compounded PTSD. In fact, I'm almost done seeking mental health help, period. I'll still see my shrink for meds, but I am completely and thoroughly done with CBT and DBT. More and more, I'm thinking BPD is a diagnosis given when they actually don't know what is wrong with you, and/or are unwilling to admit that they don't know know how to help you. It's kind of like a doctor saying something is idiopathic in origin-that is simply professional speak for "we actually know f*** all, but we have to come back and tell you something, so idiopathic, it is. You're not even treated like a human half the time if you have this disorder. And I'm tired of being told that I'm not trying hard enough, that I simply must use more coping techniques, (when others like my therapist have already praised my (their words) extraordinary coping techniques), and to essentially just grin and bare it. They wonder about my need to sometimes be frequently hospitalized, and criticize it. Reality is, they started throwing me in the psych ward when I was 7 years old, and if I total it, I have probably spent a total of about 4 years in psychiatric wards. So, how did I get institutionalized?? I wonder. They completely refuse to acknowledge their complicit role in creating dependency.
A lot of therapists, from my experience, just aren't very good at what they do. If all they can offer you is "coping techniques" that you can find yourself online from a Google search, then it's time to move on and find someone else. I know you're probably tired of trying to find someone who can help, and I don't blame you. To be honest, so am I. That's why I'm only seeing a psychiatrist at the moment to get my meds. It takes a lot of searching and a lot of trial and error to find a good therapist who can offer you something more than just the standard bullshit that we've already tried 10 times over. But if you do keep searching, it can be incredibly worth it in the end. There are some therapists out there who are very knowledgeable, are able to think out of the box, and provide individualized care. It just takes a lot of time and effort to find them.
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
I'm done seeking help for this disorder. People (medical/psychiatric proffesionals) focus exclusively on the fact that I have BPD, but i also have Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and complex, compounded PTSD. In fact, I'm almost done seeking mental health help, period. I'll still see my shrink for meds, but I am completely and thoroughly done with CBT and DBT. More and more, I'm thinking BPD is a diagnosis given when they actually don't know what is wrong with you, and/or are unwilling to admit that they don't know know how to help you. It's kind of like a doctor saying something is idiopathic in origin-that is simply professional speak for "we actually know f*** all, but we have to come back and tell you something, so idiopathic, it is. You're not even treated like a human half the time if you have this disorder. And I'm tired of being told that I'm not trying hard enough, that I simply must use more coping techniques, (when others like my therapist have already praised my (their words) extraordinary coping techniques), and to essentially just grin and bare it. They wonder about my need to sometimes be frequently hospitalized, and criticize it. Reality is, they started throwing me in the psych ward when I was 7 years old, and if I total it, I have probably spent a total of about 4 years in psychiatric wards. So, how did I get institutionalized?? I wonder. They completely refuse to acknowledge their complicit role in creating dependency.
BPD is one of my many diagnoses. I know what you mean when you talk about how BPDs are treated. In the DBT class the instructor always acted as if the group was a bunch of unruly babies. (A couple were actually). I find they pretend to have found you appropriate referrals just before discharge, but those referrals are not appropriate. They're just dead ends.
 
Why can't people mindread???
I was journaling this and decided to write it out here. I don't know what I'm hoping for. I doubt anyone will be able to give me any perspective on it, though of course if you can :)
Why can't people mindread? I expect them to. I expect them to know what I think and when they don't give me what I wanted - which I didn't specifically ask for but meant and intended - I'm really hurt and know that they don't care about me at all.
I wrote this after writing about E. Because E had told me I could reach out to her and yet when I reached out to her she wasn't there. She really and truly wasn't. It was a couple of weeks ago when I was freaking out and needing to use and sure I would end up using and not knowing how to handle it. I sent her a link to what I wrote with the words 'I just want to share'. Which could easily have meant to her that I'm not asking for and don't want a response. I want to share. I don't want replies. I did want her to reply. She didn't. I knew she didn't care. It's reminding me of what I wrote in my diary thread earlier. About being hurt with R'R. I sent him a link to what I wrote. He read it and replied. He replied to tell me it's amazing and thanks for sharing. That's not what I wanted. It means he isn't there. I didn't ask for what I wanted. Because to me it's evident. Sometimes, often, I can't ask for what I want. Because if they don't know then obviously they don't care.

Okay, I can't think of how to finish this and I've kinda said what I was thinking.

Why can't people mindread?????


I think people don’t want to mindread, I think people are mostly too selfish to take any real interest in others, period, that sounds bitter doesn’t it? :D
 

YellowHat

Well-Known Member
Hello! I fit almost all of the symptoms listed above, and I think about suicide everyday. All of my experience with therapists have not been helpful, I just felt worse bc I don't like talking about myself 101. I have been in a depressed state of mind since 6th grade and something is telling me that I won't get better.
 

Walker

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I have been in a depressed state of mind since 6th grade and something is telling me that I won't get better.
Sometimes we do hang on to depression, unfortunately. It just depends on the person - some people can make a complete recovery of it ... and others feel terrible their entire lives. Most people typically fall in between there somewhere if they learn to manage it's symptoms with appropriate coping skills, therapy and/or medications. While it's possible you might never feel extreme happiness every day (who is?!) you can learn to manage your depression in a way that doesn't make you feel as terrible as you do today.
 

Innocent Forever

Excellent forever
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Hello! I fit almost all of the symptoms listed above, and I think about suicide everyday. All of my experience with therapists have not been helpful, I just felt worse bc I don't like talking about myself 101. I have been in a depressed state of mind since 6th grade and something is telling me that I won't get better.
Welcome to the SF family! Knowing what doesn't work for you is a great start in working out what would work for you....
Sending hugs and strength...
 

kittykatt

Well-Known Member
My doctor suggested that I used a code word with my wife when I was experiencing these abnormal feelings. This may help. However, it doesn't work for me because when I'm on an upswing or downswing, I don't perceive anything being wrong. I think that people without mental illness can't comprehend that. My reality becomes different from the norm but since its MY reality, everyone else's reality is abnormal. It sucks.....
I tend to agree with you that people with mental illnesses aren't able to see the illness in themselves or that other people do. My former best friend urged me to get help for years. I didn't and in the end it cost me her friendship. Maybe the code word should be for when she perceives it in you rather than the other way around.
 

Firefly75

Well-Known Member
I have been diagnosed by so many different drs with different conditions. I know I have 4. BPD is extremely hard to manage for me especially now. My family doesn’t want anything to do with me except for 1 brother and he’s in federal prison. He called me last night. It’s been at least 3 months since I’ve heard anything from him. My parents are gone. My dad died in 2003 and I was his angel. My mom passed in 2016 and she treated me horribly. Absolutely to the end of her life and it followed her to death. I’m not trying to sound selfish but I took care of my mom for 10 years all my brothers were in and out of prison I Went to all of her doctors appointments, stayed in the hospital when she was hospitalized gave her baths, dressed her clean her up after she went to the bathroom I mean it was endless and it was OK because I felt needed and loved. Now the brother who called me yesterday his name is Mike he would’ve help me take care of my mom but he was in federal prison For eight years and by some miraculous miracle he got out two years earlier and was able to spend two months with my mom before she died. Well I found out later after she died after I made all the funeral arrangements which I had no idea how to do. Deal with the insurance companies. And all that jazz. she screwed me All the way to the end. And yet my whole life I fought for her love. She left everything to my brother. It’s like whatever. But it does hurt pretty bad to be so dismissed and I just feel so unloved by her and unappreciated .she did love me but she love me in a very toxic way.No one else in my family (bro’s., aunts, uncles, cousins) want anything to do with me. I always think is it because of me that it’s because of my mental illness that pushes everyone away. I am a Abandoned . I am all alone. I have no one around me. I don’t drive. I don’t know how to deal with my emotions. Like it was stated in the beginning of this thread how one minute you love someone and the next like I can’t stand to be around him or they bother me or I come off rude. And I don’t know why most of the time. It’s not all the time and it’s in different circumstances that this happens. I used to be able to hide my emotions like I had a poker face at least I thought I did and now whatever emotion I’m feeling everybody knows it Because I can’t hide it. I am so scared right now I hate the emptiness inside me I am in a panic all the time anxiety is through the roof
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
My therapist is pretty firm on the point that I am not with BPD as one of my many diagnoses suggests and that I've mentioned here many times. She is certain that I have Asperger's and OCD. there is a symptom overlap of these with BPD but she says I am with Asperger's and OCD due to other telltale symptoms. And it is these other issues that I am having a great deal of difficulty getting out into the open where I can truly deal with them. Taking this into consideration makes me consider that my therapist is right. I have not seen but am curious, is there an OCD and or Asperger's thread here?
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
i used to be sure i have BPD. now i am not so sure. i don’t think my symptoms have changed but i think i am more aware of qualities of other diagnoses that i have that may actually point to Asperger’s and maybe even schizoaffective but the schizo diagnosis i only received, i believe, because the providers who gave it do not really understand me and have not taken enough time to get to know me on a first hand basis. i feel i can make this claim because i have been described as “a hard nut to crack” by one psychologist and few psychiatrists have described me as being hard to diagnose and treat.

further, i actually believe i have a dissociative disorder that may be closer to Dissociative Identity Disorder which i am ok suggesting even though there are many people who i have spoken to (and read about as well) who believe that such a diagnosis is dubious at best. i also consider Ego State Disorder which is similar to DID however without alters that come out. the description i read is frighteningly similar to me as i see it.

just the same i do recognize BPD qualities that i do think i have. but since i have had myself included in this thread i just felt i should mention the above.
 

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