Borderline Personality Disorder | What is BPD? | Signs of BPD
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Ya. It’s probably not the right way to describe it but to me happy people are simple minded. It I know the neviatve connotation of that phrase is actually insulting. But I don’t mean it that way. My husband is simple minded but very intelligent. So I don’t mean they are dumb. I just mean life is much simpler for these people.
That's why I said I hear what you are saying. I meant exactly that. That there's negative, insulting connotations to the phrase but you aren't meaning it that way and in the way you mean it, you're right.
Life is simpler when the world isn't experienced as intensely. Although remember, people can be as intense, as emotionally in tune etc, and have been raised in an environment that was healthy. Which means that all their needs (which are more than the average) will have been met. And those people wouldn't find life as much of a struggle. I don't know if I have BPD, but let's take bpd as an example. I'm hypersensitive in every which way and everything registers on my radar way more intensely than the 'norm'. In some countries, being quiet is considered a plus. In this country it's not. In some countries being an introvert is positive. In this country it's not. So I never learned how to handle feelings (being, existing, thinking is all 'wrong'). Therefore I had to escape and struggle with a lot today. Take someone else as intense. Put them in a situation where the parents are calm and know how to give the child the intensity the child needs, don't brush anything away as 'too much' and teach the child how to handle the intensity. The child will grow up into an adult who faces life well and just experiences the world with more colour than the 'norm'. The beauty and pain will be more intense but it'll all be okay too, they'll be happy too.
If that makes sense.
Life is simpler when the world isn't experienced as intensely. Although remember, people can be as intense, as emotionally in tune etc, and have been raised in an environment that was healthy. Which means that all their needs (which are more than the average) will have been met. And those people wouldn't find life as much of a struggle. I don't know if I have BPD, but let's take bpd as an example. I'm hypersensitive in every which way and everything registers on my radar way more intensely than the 'norm'. In some countries, being quiet is considered a plus. In this country it's not. In some countries being an introvert is positive. In this country it's not. So I never learned how to handle feelings (being, existing, thinking is all 'wrong'). Therefore I had to escape and struggle with a lot today. Take someone else as intense. Put them in a situation where the parents are calm and know how to give the child the intensity the child needs, don't brush anything away as 'too much' and teach the child how to handle the intensity. The child will grow up into an adult who faces life well and just experiences the world with more colour than the 'norm'. The beauty and pain will be more intense but it'll all be okay too, they'll be happy too.
If that makes sense.
@Innocent Forever What you say reminds me of what I feel. Perception plays such a huge role in how we feel. If we were nurtured as a child, It almost doesn’t matter what happens to a person. What I mean is a nurtured child grows up with a brighter perception and they can cope with just about anything.
But when I look at my husband, he had a worse childhood than I did in many ways. Although comparisons are not really an accurate way to see things. His father beat him and his mother. His mother was emotionally unavailable. So he learned how to compartmentalize really well. Too well in my opinion. But he’s happy. He never gets depressed or even affected by my low moods.
I never learned compartmentalization. I felt everything at all times. Everything overwhelmed me. And still does.
So it seems if I could figure out a better perception, and really believe it, I could be ok. If I could learn how to be simple, I could be ok. I guess that is mindfulness. I’m learning this but I in no way have mastered it.
I wish we could buy a ‘simple’ pair of glasses that would change how we see the world. Lol
But when I look at my husband, he had a worse childhood than I did in many ways. Although comparisons are not really an accurate way to see things. His father beat him and his mother. His mother was emotionally unavailable. So he learned how to compartmentalize really well. Too well in my opinion. But he’s happy. He never gets depressed or even affected by my low moods.
I never learned compartmentalization. I felt everything at all times. Everything overwhelmed me. And still does.
So it seems if I could figure out a better perception, and really believe it, I could be ok. If I could learn how to be simple, I could be ok. I guess that is mindfulness. I’m learning this but I in no way have mastered it.
I wish we could buy a ‘simple’ pair of glasses that would change how we see the world. Lol
Just came across this, and thought I'd share. Hopefully it helps you guys understand this disorder a bit better.
BPD Symptoms Explained:
BPD Symptoms Explained:
- Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one getting home late from work or going away for the weekend can trigger intense fear. This leads to frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, jealously track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the other person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.
- Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, with nothing in between. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash from your rapid swings between idealization and devaluation, anger, and hate.
- Unclear or unstable self-image.When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, and even sexual identity.
- Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.
- Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm includes all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.
- Extreme emotional swings.Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.
- Chronic feelings of emptiness.People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the hole with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.
- Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense angerand a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time being angry at yourself.
- Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body
This is me pretty much though some doesn't seem right also. Been just diagnosed via psych testing - the results of which I just received. I'll be posting about this probably within 24 hrs or so since people have been asking. There's a lot of see I told you so but I also have to go for the explanation consultation and for now keep an open mind.
I do wonder. My true response to the report- I'm very restrained right now but I must ask the question, What's a BPDer to do when all the worst is confirmed?
I do wonder. My true response to the report- I'm very restrained right now but I must ask the question, What's a BPDer to do when all the worst is confirmed?
I'm also diagnosed with Avoidant Personality too. I'm a mix of both. But honestly, with AvPD in particular, I tend to believe that its more of a type of personality that people shun and reject because it doesn't fit what is considered "normal" rather than an actual disorder. It stems from feeling like one is misplaced in an extremely fucked up society rather than personal trauma.
lol does this mean I have BPD????
Asides for number 8 - I've never been angry at others (well ignore the fact that I don't know feelings), it fits me to a tee. Well, with the caveat of 8, maybe lol. And re number 9, the first part isn't relevant either, only the second. Not to the extent that I'd ever be diagnosed with dissociation but yeah lol.
Asides for number 8 - I've never been angry at others (well ignore the fact that I don't know feelings), it fits me to a tee. Well, with the caveat of 8, maybe lol. And re number 9, the first part isn't relevant either, only the second. Not to the extent that I'd ever be diagnosed with dissociation but yeah lol.
Well, I don't dissociate either, but I can definitely get paranoid at times. The paranoia/delusions/dissociation symptom all kind of goes into one symptom, meaning it could manifest as any of the three. Or if you don't have any of the above, you could still technically be diagnosed with it. I think you need to have 5 or more symptoms to be diagnosed.
and there is such an overlap with diagnoses that it almost seems like horoscopes or fortune cookies where they say statements where you can say “yes, thats me” but anyone can say it. still there is science behind the diagnoses and not superstition. things do overlap. you might not be BPD. then again you may be. somehow i feel #8 is a very important part. i get angry. not super, but sometimes too much. i threw a chair once. i stood in front of a bus once. yes, little old innocuous me.
I'm never gonna be diagnosed with it, unless for some reason I'd go to a psychiatrist. But what do I need the diagnosis of it for? Though, the first time I called a therapist up - she works in the NHS and told me to go through the NHS which was a waste of time - one of the first questions she asked after I told her what was going on was whether I have a personality disorder. I was so insulted at the time!
Do the criteria fit? As I said, other than the anger to others (at nothing or to myself, I don't think more than the average person, well asides for breaking velvet hangers occasionally coz' that was at hand, and I'd love love love to break crockery. We so should...) and paranoia - which I know others would say I do, but it's different - it all defines me to a tee.
I don't see a reason for a diagnosis per se, only if it's going to help. At the moment I'd gain nothing from going to a psychiatrist. If I'd decide that I wanted therapy and wanted to enter the NHS system and go through the run around yet again, well, I can give a list of diagnosis they'd probably give. But I wouldn't trust them. I think I know myself and know what I need more than someone who sees me for an hour who I wouldn't say a word to (speaking is often unsafe) could ever know.
Do the criteria fit? As I said, other than the anger to others (at nothing or to myself, I don't think more than the average person, well asides for breaking velvet hangers occasionally coz' that was at hand, and I'd love love love to break crockery. We so should...) and paranoia - which I know others would say I do, but it's different - it all defines me to a tee.
I don't see a reason for a diagnosis per se, only if it's going to help. At the moment I'd gain nothing from going to a psychiatrist. If I'd decide that I wanted therapy and wanted to enter the NHS system and go through the run around yet again, well, I can give a list of diagnosis they'd probably give. But I wouldn't trust them. I think I know myself and know what I need more than someone who sees me for an hour who I wouldn't say a word to (speaking is often unsafe) could ever know.
