I've been suffering with a rare untreatable pain condition for 2 years now as well as other things. For some lucky people it gets better within 2 years, after that the chances are next to 0. So I guess I'm stuck with it. Especially because my pain seems to be getting worse. My partner is so difficult to live with and is always gaslighting me and making me feel guilty. I have so many traumas (diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD) that are haunting me lately. I'm house-bound, I'm not even able to go in a car (because of my pain condition). Knowing I'm always going to be stuck like this is too overwhelming to accept.
I had a horrible breakdown again yesterday and I'm still feeling dazed from it. I feel like my brain is a broken computer and parts of it keep short-circuiting and glitching up. I feel so so alone and constantly stressed out. I've wasted so much money on homeopathy and holistic apps and treatments. I'm actually really broke now because of it. I want to give up, the thought of dying actually excites me, finally having an end to all this physical pain. I'm only alive because I could never do that to my mum, she would be too heart-broken.
Thank you everyone for listening. <3
I had a horrible breakdown again yesterday and I'm still feeling dazed from it. I feel like my brain is a broken computer and parts of it keep short-circuiting and glitching up. I feel so so alone and constantly stressed out. I've wasted so much money on homeopathy and holistic apps and treatments. I'm actually really broke now because of it. I want to give up, the thought of dying actually excites me, finally having an end to all this physical pain. I'm only alive because I could never do that to my mum, she would be too heart-broken.
Thank you everyone for listening. <3
Being so alone it's easy to feel like no one cares but the nice comments here really help give me the boost I need when I'm feeling beyond low.
It's nice just to have a website like this to rant to knowing that there's such nice understanding people here to listen 