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Breakdowns

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#1
I've been suffering with a rare untreatable pain condition for 2 years now as well as other things. For some lucky people it gets better within 2 years, after that the chances are next to 0. So I guess I'm stuck with it. Especially because my pain seems to be getting worse. My partner is so difficult to live with and is always gaslighting me and making me feel guilty. I have so many traumas (diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD) that are haunting me lately. I'm house-bound, I'm not even able to go in a car (because of my pain condition). Knowing I'm always going to be stuck like this is too overwhelming to accept.

I had a horrible breakdown again yesterday and I'm still feeling dazed from it. I feel like my brain is a broken computer and parts of it keep short-circuiting and glitching up. I feel so so alone and constantly stressed out. I've wasted so much money on homeopathy and holistic apps and treatments. I'm actually really broke now because of it. I want to give up, the thought of dying actually excites me, finally having an end to all this physical pain. I'm only alive because I could never do that to my mum, she would be too heart-broken.

Thank you everyone for listening. <3
 

Nick

☆☆Still Ducking Fantastic ☆☆
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#2
Physical pain is hard to deal with, especially when you know that the cause of it isn't going away. I know from personal experience. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Add on top of that trauma and financial issues and it's just a tough go. I don't have much else to say other than I get it. You've posted in the empathy only section, so I'll respect that and not give any advice. I hope you keep talking and know that we are listening.
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
I'm sorry to hear your partner is mistreating you. It's bad enough dealing with all the physical pain. Having someone you care about treat you like that on top of that must suck. Just know we're here for you.
 

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#4
Physical pain is hard to deal with, especially when you know that the cause of it isn't going away. I know from personal experience. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Add on top of that trauma and financial issues and it's just a tough go. I don't have much else to say other than I get it. You've posted in the empathy only section, so I'll respect that and not give any advice. I hope you keep talking and know that we are listening.
Thank you so much, that's all I really needed to hear. :) Being so alone it's easy to feel like no one cares but the nice comments here really help give me the boost I need when I'm feeling beyond low.

I'm sorry to hear your partner is mistreating you. It's bad enough dealing with all the physical pain. Having someone you care about treat you like that on top of that must suck. Just know we're here for you.
Thank you so much, it really helps just reading these nice comments and not feeling so alone. :)
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#6
Sorry for all you have to deal with, pain is no fun, I can relate to being in severe pain, its hard, its trying but you have us to talk to to take your mind off it, I know its not easy, I just want you to know you are not alone *hug SF has your back :)
 

Scytaic

SF Supporter
#7
Sorry for all you have to deal with, pain is no fun, I can relate to being in severe pain, its hard, its trying but you have us to talk to to take your mind off it, I know its not easy, I just want you to know you are not alone *hug SF has your back :)
Thank you, I'm sorry you have/are experiencing it too :( It's nice just to have a website like this to rant to knowing that there's such nice understanding people here to listen *brohug
 

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