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Bullying in the work place

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
SF Pro
#1
We are all adults when we start work right??

So why do fully grown adults find it acceptable to bully others in the work place?? what is bullying in the work place, the list can go on and on forever!!

I was a victim of bullying in the work place, i was bullied daily by people that was older than me! people that should of known better! it was a small office with just four of us and even my boss sat back and allowed it to happen so what does that say about them! I stood up for myself on one occasion and because of that I was taken outside by my boss and given a strict talking too and a telling off for being rude and abrupt! right so its okay for people to make fun of me and abuse me daily because I am quiet and i just keep my head down but as soon as i speak out i get slaughtered for it!

So what do you do, do you sit back and put up with it through fear of saying something and it becoming worse or do you speak up and stand your ground then get aqused of being aggressive and having a temper??

Bullying is NOT acceptable in any place, work, school at home!!! Never ever become a bully to fit in!
 

Cagla

Chainsmoker
#2
can you by any chance find another job ? it is so sad and so frustrating....whatever you say, they will find a way to laugh at it..i guess if you can consult a lawyer? you can sue them right because it must be mobbing they are doing. and in that work area it must be illegal to do that. especially by a boss. i am sorry about my ignorance but i am talking as much as i know. :( dont let them get to you... there must be a way to deal with them..
 

Bobmrb

Only me ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™Š
#3
I have experienced this too, and also when I spoke out they made me feel that I was the one in the wrong.
I don't know why some people think it is acceptable to treat others in that way. Perhaps it's there way of dealing with their issues, but that no way makes it right.
 

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
SF Pro
#4
can you by any chance find another job ? it is so sad and so frustrating....whatever you say, they will find a way to laugh at it..i guess if you can consult a lawyer? you can sue them right because it must be mobbing they are doing. and in that work area it must be illegal to do that. especially by a boss. i am sorry about my ignorance but i am talking as much as i know. :( dont let them get to you... there must be a way to deal with them..
can you by any chance find another job ? it is so sad and so frustrating....whatever you say, they will find a way to laugh at it..i guess if you can consult a lawyer? you can sue them right because it must be mobbing they are doing. and in that work area it must be illegal to do that. especially by a boss. i am sorry about my ignorance but i am talking as much as i know. :( dont let them get to you... there must be a way to deal with them..
Hey, Yes I left and set up my own company and now in direct competition with them!! unfortunately their is no way you can deal with a bully thats just how they are and what they do, they are ignorant and dont care who they hurt or upset they do it for their own self worth and to feel important, funny and clever but they dont realise what they are doing to that person with their bullying and they just say "its banter"
 

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
SF Pro
#5
I have experienced this too, and also when I spoke out they made me feel that I was the one in the wrong.
I don't know why some people think it is acceptable to treat others in that way. Perhaps it's there way of dealing with their issues, but that no way makes it right.
its never right like i said to Cagla, they do it so they can feel important and funny when they are just idiots with no social skills and no care for others!
 

Cagla

Chainsmoker
#6
Hey, Yes I left and set up my own company and now in direct competition with them!! unfortunately their is no way you can deal with a bully thats just how they are and what they do, they are ignorant and dont care who they hurt or upset they do it for their own self worth and to feel important, funny and clever but they dont realise what they are doing to that person with their bullying and they just say "its banter"
you set up your own company? wow holy :D it is a good thing as much as i understand. sorry i am not a native but so you have your own company now??
 
#10
We are all adults when we start work right??

So why do fully grown adults find it acceptable to bully others in the work place?? what is bullying in the work place, the list can go on and on forever!!

I was a victim of bullying in the work place, i was bullied daily by people that was older than me! people that should of known better! it was a small office with just four of us and even my boss sat back and allowed it to happen so what does that say about them! I stood up for myself on one occasion and because of that I was taken outside by my boss and given a strict talking too and a telling off for being rude and abrupt! right so its okay for people to make fun of me and abuse me daily because I am quiet and i just keep my head down but as soon as i speak out i get slaughtered for it!

So what do you do, do you sit back and put up with it through fear of saying something and it becoming worse or do you speak up and stand your ground then get aqused of being aggressive and having a temper??

Bullying is NOT acceptable in any place, work, school at home!!! Never ever become a bully to fit in!
i like it a lot that you stood up for yourself. heck yes.
i think i would let it happen but im dumb. You should never let people mistreat you, no matter who they are.
sadly the world is full of those assholes, and sometimes it can get so very unfair.

but im sure there are other places in which it wont be that way
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#11
at this one job i sent an e-mail to a supervisor i thought i could trust explaining how i didn't like the way i was being treated. she showed it to the manager and they interpreted as a letter of resignation, even though i said nothing about quitting anywhere in the e-mail. the next thing i knew i was out the door.
 

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
SF Pro
#12
at this one job i sent an e-mail to a supervisor i thought i could trust explaining how i didn't like the way i was being treated. she showed it to the manager and they interpreted as a letter of resignation, even though i said nothing about quitting anywhere in the e-mail. the next thing i knew i was out the door.
you can take them to court thats constructive dismissal!!
 

Ineluki

The Storm King
Chat Pro
#13
Hey Jay

Mrs Luki had a problem with a bully at work a few years ago. She bought a book called "The Bully at Work," by Gary and Ruth Namie. I haven't read it but I recall it gave her some good tips on how to deal with the guy that was bullying her.

When the bully retired, he took one more shot at her, and all her coworkers ended up taking her side and supporting her. His last day on the job and he went for a confrontation and lost. I think the skills she learned in the book really helped her.
 

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
SF Pro
#14
Hey Jay

Mrs Luki had a problem with a bully at work a few years ago. She bought a book called "The Bully at Work," by Gary and Ruth Namie. I haven't read it but I recall it gave her some good tips on how to deal with the guy that was bullying her.

When the bully retired, he took one more shot at her, and all her coworkers ended up taking her side and supporting her. His last day on the job and he went for a confrontation and lost. I think the skills she learned in the book really helped her.
a win for Mrs Luki!! :)
 

WaterUnder

Transient SF'er on hiatus
SF Supporter
#15
at this one job i sent an e-mail to a supervisor i thought i could trust explaining how i didn't like the way i was being treated. she showed it to the manager and they interpreted as a letter of resignation, even though i said nothing about quitting anywhere in the e-mail. the next thing i knew i was out the door.
๐Ÿ˜ฎ
 

WaterUnder

Transient SF'er on hiatus
SF Supporter
#16
Bullying totally happens in the workplace. And you're right, management, even upper management can be either complacent or involved.

In the manager meetings that I attended, employees were sometimes made fun of, concerns they voiced dismissed out of hand and they were deemed "time robbers" or "difficult".

There was discrimination, too, based on sex, age, gender, gender expression, religion, race. Managers made fun of their staff. Staff bullied other staff. Managers would exchange smirks and looks back and forth when certain people would speak.

I alluded to experience a form of bullying/ostracism here on this forum and someone dismissed it, but I know "who's who in the zoo" so to speak. I worked there for over 15 years.

It totally happens and there's not a lot that can be done about it.
 

Jayjay289

Jay Jay from the UK
SF Pro
#17
Bullying totally happens in the workplace. And you're right, management, even upper management can be either complacent or involved.

In the manager meetings that I attended, employees were sometimes made fun of, concerns they voiced dismissed out of hand and they were deemed "time robbers" or "difficult".

There was discrimination, too, based on sex, age, gender, gender expression, religion, race. Managers made fun of their staff. Staff bullied other staff. Managers would exchange smirks and looks back and forth when certain people would speak.

I alluded to experience a form of bullying/ostracism here on this forum and someone dismissed it, but I know "who's who in the zoo" so to speak. I worked there for over 15 years.

It totally happens and there's not a lot that can be done about it.
when "management" are involved their is nothing that can be done because they will protect them selves and wont want to be seen as involved or carry out such actions as they know that they will prob lose job, a decent salary and respect from staff. so management will just brush it under the carpet... once they are involved your pretty much screwed and they would rather see you quit and leave rather then them face their actions
 

Bobmrb

Only me ๐Ÿ™‰๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™Š
#18
when "management" are involved their is nothing that can be done because they will protect them selves and wont want to be seen as involved or carry out such actions as they know that they will prob lose job, a decent salary and respect from staff. so management will just brush it under the carpet... once they are involved your pretty much screwed and they would rather see you quit and leave rather then them face their actions
Absolutely correct. I have witnessed this happen.
 

WaterUnder

Transient SF'er on hiatus
SF Supporter
#19
when "management" are involved their is nothing that can be done because they will protect them selves and wont want to be seen as involved or carry out such actions as they know that they will prob lose job, a decent salary and respect from staff. so management will just brush it under the carpet... once they are involved your pretty much screwed and they would rather see you quit and leave rather then them face their actions
Yeah, but like Mr. Rogers said, "Look for the helpers". When my boss wanted me to let go of an employee because he perceived she was "too old" for the job, I insisted we keep her. When he wanted to keep a lackluster employee because she was young and pretty and let the more competent one go, I challenged him. I pushed their beliefs. Called them out in their meetings from 'Let's get back on topic" to outright "that's inappropriate". I talked with H/R.

Others addressed issues, too. If we don't challenge, nothing changes. Of course, I'm no longer employed there.

The backstabbing wasn't limited to underlings, one boss would talk shit about the other one. It was a very confusing environment for a conscientious person to work in, as my friends would attest. Very damaging to the psyche.

I was trying to "bloom where planted".
 

cots

Well-Known Member
#20
Unfortunately workplace bullying is very real and hard to solve. I know someone in HR and they told me that often, the procedure to handle any kind of grievance is to politely suggest to the employee that the latter needs to go because they do not fit in with the organisation's culture - rendering them particularly susceptible to bullying. It sounds just like school, but at least as adults we can choose to stay or to leave.

If you cannot change your job, perhaps you can find little things to look forward to? Such as Lunch Time - maybe find something you enjoy during lunch and look forward to it.

Or plan your annual leave early so you can do a countdown to that day. Watching the number of days go down could make work feel less dreadful.

You could find a peer too, if that is possible. Having a buddy who feels the same as you could help.

All the best!
 

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