It doesn't always get better.
Doesn't it sometimes seem as though we are pretty much just filling a void,
spinning on a carousel of various drugs and therapists, and endeavors, hoping
that this thing is going to be the thing that changes us for the better?
I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, anger for 20 years now, I realized.
I'm 33 now, and my life is probably worse than it's ever been. No therapist has
ever cracked my code, or eradicated the cause of being a life-long black hole.
No drug has ever healed my neuroses, or increased my quality of life.
Speaking of quality of life: yes, it's definitely "good" in terms of having amenities,
things, food, water. I am not at risk of being robbed in my neighborhood, or blown
up like people in the middle east. But everyone has their own problems, and their
own threshold of how much shit they can really take.
I think I am at the precipice.
I don't care about pollyanna platitudes, affirmations, empty ambitions.
I just want to get the out of this life, this world, this reality.
/endvent
Doesn't it sometimes seem as though we are pretty much just filling a void,
spinning on a carousel of various drugs and therapists, and endeavors, hoping
that this thing is going to be the thing that changes us for the better?
I've been dealing with depression, anxiety, anger for 20 years now, I realized.
I'm 33 now, and my life is probably worse than it's ever been. No therapist has
ever cracked my code, or eradicated the cause of being a life-long black hole.
No drug has ever healed my neuroses, or increased my quality of life.
Speaking of quality of life: yes, it's definitely "good" in terms of having amenities,
things, food, water. I am not at risk of being robbed in my neighborhood, or blown
up like people in the middle east. But everyone has their own problems, and their
own threshold of how much shit they can really take.
I think I am at the precipice.
I don't care about pollyanna platitudes, affirmations, empty ambitions.
I just want to get the out of this life, this world, this reality.
/endvent