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  1. Israel Regardie

    Israel Regardie Active Member

    A week ago I went to my doctor with a light pain in my left testicle. He sent me to a ultrasound. I went, and watched the nurses face change from polite interest to worry and concern - then finally to fear. She told me to dress and see a specialist.
    The word cancer was mentioned, be her and by my doctor.
    Right now I am waiting to get an appointment at a specialist who will take a cell sample and see.
    In the meanwhile I am losing my mind.

    You wouldn't know, but I am a former drug abuse who has suffered chronic depression - dysthymia - for five years. I've been close to suicide many times.
    NOW, I am facing the fact I might have cancer and want to live more than ever.
    I start seeing the beauty of life, the entire history of mankind and the tiny piece I get to witness.

    I don't want to die. And I'm scared.
    I know that if I do not have cancer I am ready to truly live. To truly seize life.
    But I might not get to.

    This is either the best thing that has never happened to me, or the worst.
    In the meanwhile I am in limbo.

    Guess I just need some comfort, some help, someone to listen.

    I.R.
     
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    omg, that's dreadful. some life changing news there.
    comforting thoughts your way
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    What ever they saw may not be cancer hun it may be benign growth so try not to worry ok until biopsy is done hugs to you
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Sending hugs and offering comfort and a listening ear if you need either. :hug:
     
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I hope you get real news and soon as opposed to being stuck waiting. In the worse case testicular cancer happens to have a really good response rate to treatment in general and having had a friend that got it very young (he was early 20's) can tell you that after treatment (even surgical removal) everything will still "work" - take it seriously and go with the Dr's recommendations or 2nd opinion if you have any doubts about what the Dr says and and try to stay positive. :hug:
     
  6. Sea Sparkles

    Sea Sparkles Well-Known Member

    I've been through cancer and had ultrasounds. (I can tell you that stuff on ultrasounds are normally just growth that gets removed) It can be anyplace from a hernia, to puss build up, in it... (I know someone who had had a hernia in their). I wouldn't think of the worst.. Have you had labs write ups? The labs are the more important aspect of things.

    Please keep us updated... I know the waiting anxiety is a lot... but things will be ok **hugs**
     
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

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