Chronic depression - have you been in treatment for a long time?

[Nick_K]

..As in, several years or more? Do you ever think that maybe depression isn't the actual problem but really a symptom of whatever the real problem is? I've been in treatment for a long time and I feel like the meds make me just ambivalent enough to keep my exit plan on the shelf for the time being. And the docs, both psychiatrist and psychologist, maintain that what i have is a chronic condition. They tell me that like diabetics will need insulin for their whole lives, I will likely have to be on meds my whole life.

But sometimes I wonder if I really have depression or if I haven't learned some skill that I need to achieve the emotional resilience that normal people have. I don't know what that skill could be and I suspect it is something that most pick up instinctively as kids but for whatever reason not everyone learns. It could also be that depressed people are more realistic about the world but that doesn't really help us because what we see more clearly is stuff that we don't have control over anyway. Maybe it's time to try something besides therapy? Or is it time to reconsider the diagnosis?

 

[GA_lost]

Nick,
I do not know the answer because I am in the same position. I have been in therapy for years for depression. One thing to watch out for is getting into an extremely stressful position (for me major job stress). This caused me to rapidly descend into a major depression, which has not completely disappeared. I think depression can have a biological/genetic basis and needs lifetime AD's. Good Luck in your quest.

 

[Screaminginsilence]

Same as me, its like i have a disease and i'm fed up with treating it.

I had counselling and i take a high dose of Prozac every day but i still find myself unable to deal with certain things

and i agree, sometimes i think this is all bullshit and i'm just unable to deal with normal human emotion. Whether that comes from my childhood, which most i have blocked out and after a year of counselling still don't know why, or whether part of my brain simply is deficent.

I continually think about my exit method, and sometimes i wish i could be within a situation like the characters from the Saw movies, and i survive, to make me appreciate the life that i do have

But the fact of the matter is i agree with what you are saying, i think my meds subdue my overwhelming want-to-die, and i'll just plod on until i die.

 

[Nick_K]

sometimes i think this is all bullshit and i'm just unable to deal with normal human emotion.

Wow you just summed up what I was trying to say in one sentence. I question my diagnosis because I remember being suicidal before I was depressed, but both started at a very young age which I guess is the criterion that docs use to test for biological origin.

Honestly I feel less depressed the more serious I get about planning an exit because I can imagine not having to feel pain anymore, but I am still here because when I do get to the point of no return, I do have an experience that at least for the time makes it seem like life is something to hold on to, no matter what the suffering is. I think that this is my survival instinct & I haven't been able to override it yet. Not sure if that's what you're after but that's what I thought about when you mentioned the characters in the Saw movies.

Yet I don't want to sound like I am promoting semi-lethal pseudo attempts so I guess if I wanted to get that experience again I would do something in the adrenaline category like sky diving or bungee jumping (assuming people still do that).

 

[ema]

i've been depressed my whole life, and that's a long time. i'll be on meds my whole life. sometimes, chronic depression is physiological as well as mental. Mine is. The meds help.

But, i also have other issues like did, ocd, add, etc. those feed the depression.

i've been in treatment for over ten years and i'm slowly getting better. but, i'm still disabled.

don't give up, but maybe you need to consider a change of doc or meds. it doesn't sound like things are working or making sense to you right now.

 

[2ndCity773]

Nick. I know what u mean by pursing things that boost your adrenaline. That's how I get by every day. Im in the military and combat training and war is all I think about. I've been to iraq and I can't wait to go to afghanistan. In the real world its so difficult to function with "normal" ppl. I would rather be training and destroying the enemy. I keep myself in top physical condition to do so. But anxiety, depression and social phobias plague my brain. Even though I appear fine on the outside.

 

[Sephaus]

Have been in treatment for years but medication does absolutely nothing for me now, marijuana's a better panacea for me

 

[TimH88]

Ive been in treatment since highschool and have only had brief periods of relief. The meds arent working. I feel really frustrated. Im now self medicating with my prescription to Norco.

 

[Silverpuddle]

I've been on meds my entire adult life (20 years) and in talk therapy years longer than that.

Sometimes the misery lets up for a bit, but it always comes back.

If it weren't for my family, I'd be long gone. I don't want to hurt them, but sometimes I get angry at them, like they want to keep this husk of a person around for sentimental reasons. The real person they remember has been gone a long, long time. They just don't want to believe that.

 

[aoeu]

Plug: if long-term treatment for depression isn't working, it might be because you're bipolar. Investigate this.

Source: the many people I know (including my mother) who were diagnosed with and poorly treated for depression for decades, who responded to bipolar treatment in months.

 

[PhilipS]

20+ years. I expect to suffer from it for the rest of my life.

 

[sunshinesblack]

..As in, several years or more? Do you ever think that maybe depression isn't the actual problem but really a symptom of whatever the real problem is? I've been in treatment for a long time and I feel like the meds make me just ambivalent enough to keep my exit plan on the shelf for the time being. And the docs, both psychiatrist and psychologist, maintain that what i have is a chronic condition. They tell me that like diabetics will need insulin for their whole lives, I will likely have to be on meds my whole life.

But sometimes I wonder if I really have depression or if I haven't learned some skill that I need to achieve the emotional resilience that normal people have. I don't know what that skill could be and I suspect it is something that most pick up instinctively as kids but for whatever reason not everyone learns. It could also be that depressed people are more realistic about the world but that doesn't really help us because what we see more clearly is stuff that we don't have control over anyway. Maybe it's time to try something besides therapy? Or is it time to reconsider the diagnosis?

Am 100% shure a lot of times depression is only companying or a by product of other issues that may not be easy to spot or obvious at all. Am actually sure its quite a common thing, derpession is misery, and there can be a lot of non simple, obvious causes for it. In my case is defenetly so as i come to learn way to late. Also just heard a story about a guy with extremely untreatable depression that eventually got the right blood tests done and found out he has some toxins/infection? in he blood from some common insect bite that basically led to a form of blood poisoning, but other than really being miserable nothing was obvious.

But u need a unusually dedicated doctor to actually care enough to go from ur depression to ur past insignificant insect bites. And u have to take ur problem seriously even if no one does and not give up searching for causes, instead of thinking its all in ur head. Again learned that the hard way...

Sigh i wish people where more aware of this. Also has others sayed persistent depression just may be a sign u r not getting treatment for the right mental issues.

 

[Vanquished]

If it's of any consolation I never found meds to be even remotely helpful. I tried numerous ones throughout about a 12yr period. I had suffered from "depression" (originally diagnosed bi polar II - docs couldnt even get that straight) since I was 5. Ive come to realize I just wasnt taught healthy ways of looking/dealing with things. No doubt this eventually had chemically affected my brain.

Ive now been off all meds for 13mon (got tired of feelin like a guinea pig when they obviously werent helpin anyway) and havent been hospitalized for 9mon (a record I assure you). Being grateful for even the littlest things or basic (ie havin a roof over my head, food to eat - no matter how little & clothes on my back) is the best place to start feelin better. May not notice it right away, but the more you do it the healthier our outlook becomes. Sure there are times when I get sad, everyone does (dont be fooled by appearances), but theres no need to live in it either unless of course thats what a person really wants. The power of the mind is amazing.

Hang in there. If I can make it through the other side I assure you YOU can too!

 

[sunshinesblack]

If it's of any consolation I never found meds to be even remotely helpful. I tried numerous ones throughout about a 12yr period. I had suffered from "depression" (originally diagnosed bi polar II - docs couldnt even get that straight) since I was 5. Ive come to realize I just wasnt taught healthy ways of looking/dealing with things. No doubt this eventually had chemically affected my brain.

Ive now been off all meds for 13mon (got tired of feelin like a guinea pig when they obviously werent helpin anyway) and havent been hospitalized for 9mon (a record I assure you). Being grateful for even the littlest things or basic (ie havin a roof over my head, food to eat - no matter how little & clothes on my back) is the best place to start feelin better. May not notice it right away, but the more you do it the healthier our outlook becomes. Sure there are times when I get sad, everyone does (dont be fooled by appearances), but theres no need to live in it either unless of course thats what a person really wants. The power of the mind is amazing.

Hang in there. If I can make it through the other side I assure you YOU can too!

yeah am wondering about personality too, i also feel i was brainwashed with the wrong soap lol, also depressed all my life, seams my parents always have been pretty mental as i come to realize, but what now?

 

[Vanquished]

I hear you about the personality factor in all this, but personally I see events and or people influencing our personality.

I realize my next example is from a tv show, but I feel the principle is the same. There were a few ladies who were kidnapped, but yet only one of the ladies was determined to do what she could to help all of them to get out of it. This is a good role model so to speak with how to handle things. We can't let ourselves be beaten down by our circumstances! I believe on some level we all have this inner strength. The question then becomes are we willing to tap into it?

I think it's good that you've recognized that your parents mental state is probably not the healthiest. I'd encourage you to look for good role models that will encourage healthy ways of dealing things and begin to help you realize your own strengths. I knew I had mine when I was young, but I couldn't identify them myself. As I opened up and began discussing some of the ways I saw things when I was younger they began helping me identify them. It's a work in progress and no one person is going to see them all, but the more you and others begin seeing in you the better youre going to begin to feel.

If someone is always criticizing us they're obviously someones opinions that we don't need to take seriously, because their view is distorted by their own insecurities and/or view of things. I've begun noticing that life really is a chain reaction, and personally I'd rather break those chains than to see them passed on to others. Why? Because I didn't like em, why would I think someone else would either? Chances are they won't no matter how macho they come off as.

Anyways, sorry for carrying on here. I can seriously go on and on. I hope you all get to feeling better soon.

Take care