my brother laugh at me for leeching off the family. he doesnt understand. I tried really but I dunno what's wrong that I can't find a job. It's getting harder to face ppl and I'm never good at meeting new ppl. It takes humps of courage to go to the job centre and ask for jobs. But then I always stutter in interviews and I never could look at their eyes. I'm feel like an idiot whenever I fail and he's always there to poke fun. I got mad at him, myself, tell him to go away and dump myself into the bathtub. Its horrible and painful. I thought I was a goner this time. Got out, didnt even dry my hair and just hid in bed. I'm a little better nw, after crying my eyes out and lying down. I'm afraid if he says one more word, i will really hurt myself.