You're right. Life can be evil for people like us, but life can also be a beautiful thing. I was very fortunate all of my life so I know that it can be wonderful. It just makes me sick when I think about the life that I used to have as compared with the way that it is now. As time goes by, it becomes harder and harder for me to remember how my life used to be. The only thing that I ever feel now is sadness and sorrow, but I used to be happy and content with my life. I was more fortunate than most people, but I'm afraid all that is in the past. I don't have a life anymore. The things that used to matter to me just don't matter anymore. I don't care about any of my possesions anymore so all of my stereo equipment and music just sits. I also used to watch a lot of tv. There are so many things that I used to do but can't or don't care to do anymore. With the way that I feel now, I wish that I were never born. I'm grateful that I had a good life, but with the way I feel now, it outweighs the good and I just wish that I were dead.