• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)



Well-Known Member
I keep crying over my deceased girlfriend. Why do the tears bring no emotional relief just headaches?
Sometimes crying is a big emotional release for people but other times not. I guess I don't know why it helps sometimes and doesn't other times.

It sounds awful. I don't think she would want you to grieve for her this long and go through so much torment
I keep crying over my deceased girlfriend. Why do the tears bring no emotional relief just headaches?
@TSS: A saying I heard once: "What soap is to the body, tears are to the soul." I'm not sure that really answers your question (or if the saying is even true), but I just felt compelled to share it.

I'm sorry for your loss -- I grieve, too.
I keep crying over my deceased girlfriend. Why do the tears bring no emotional relief just headaches?
Dear TSS I have just seen this - my heart and thoughts truly go out to you - there are no words that can ease your pain at the moment but I am sending you a big hug and wish I could be of more use xx


Well-Known Member
Thanks, my meds and the PHP program has helped, Going back to work Wed. Still heartbroken and her birthday is Aug. 25th


Under Cardiac Arrest
Man, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I lost my wife 1 year and 9 months ago. I still have these crying fits at least a few days each week. And, like you, I never seem to feel any better afterwards. But I think they're important. I think they let off pressure (not nearly enough to stop the pain, not even for a minute) that would otherwise build and build until it killed me. I just mean, even if crying doesn't seem to help in the moment, maybe the tears still serve a purpose in the long run.


Well-Known Member
You're still in the mindspace that she's a part of your life

Except you're not. She's not

I'm sorry that sounds cruel, I'm not being unsympathetic but in your mind you still see her as part of your life but the truth is she isn't and you know it so it hurts when it happens.

It takes time. That and building a new life. You'll do that without being aware of it. You'll never forget your girlfriend and probably never stop being sad but eventually it will be easier. I know that's hard to hear now but it will happen.

You probably want to jump ahead to that point where it won't hurt that much. I wish I could help you. It sucks.

I'm sorry, my friend.


Staff Alumni
Tss, so that means it's been about a year and a half. That is a very short time when it comes to grieving someone you were so close to. Grief has no time frame. I lost my daughter many years ago. It took me a long time to even want to try to live again. But eventually time did soften the pain and I began to find a new way to live without her. Are there times I'm still inconsolable? Yes, I will admit there are, but I know when that happens now, it will pass and I will go on. When I was at your time frame and felt that way, I couldn't see any way past it. Now I know it's temporary. And sometimes tears don't offer me any relief, but time takes care of it. Be kind to yourself. The grief you feel shows how much you love her. My psychologist once asked me if I would trade the pain I was feeling to not have ever had her. Without any hesitation or thinking, I knew the answer was no. I would bet you'd feel that way, too. I'd also bet your girlfriend would want you to try to find something to live for and happiness too. It may be too soon for that but in time it is possible.
I have so much sadness and anger I do not want to go through the Holidays.
Dear TSS this time of year is always so, so hard for folk for so many reasons. Please stay on SF - holidays and high days - someone is here to listen. Please take care of yourself - sending you an enormous hug xxx

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount