Tss, so that means it's been about a year and a half. That is a very short time when it comes to grieving someone you were so close to. Grief has no time frame. I lost my daughter many years ago. It took me a long time to even want to try to live again. But eventually time did soften the pain and I began to find a new way to live without her. Are there times I'm still inconsolable? Yes, I will admit there are, but I know when that happens now, it will pass and I will go on. When I was at your time frame and felt that way, I couldn't see any way past it. Now I know it's temporary. And sometimes tears don't offer me any relief, but time takes care of it. Be kind to yourself. The grief you feel shows how much you love her. My psychologist once asked me if I would trade the pain I was feeling to not have ever had her. Without any hesitation or thinking, I knew the answer was no. I would bet you'd feel that way, too. I'd also bet your girlfriend would want you to try to find something to live for and happiness too. It may be too soon for that but in time it is possible.