Practical Advice Dealing With Suicidal Thoughts as a Teen

[Raven]

Most of people think that it's normal for a teenager to have suicidal thoughts.
I always feel suicidal, easy to feel depressed, since one and a half years ago when some classmates bullied me. Situation didn't improved when I graduated.
I cannot get along with others, I can't control my temper, since I was very young. So I have no friends. I tried to change that condition, but everytime I failed. I am lonely.
I don't want to feel the same when I become an adult. So I really wish to do something to change that.
Should I seek for professional help when my parents think I don't need that? I need some advice.
(it's not what I mentioned before when I was abroad, it's what I always feel these time.)
Thank you.

 

[BlueKoala]

Hi. I’m also a teenager, and I’ve been going through some similar things. I suggest trying to point out to your parents how much help you actually need and try to tell them that it’s not normal to be suicidal at ANY age. It is not normal. I haven’t told my parents yet, so I’m not sure what I would do. However, you should absolutely seek help, because suicidal thoughts and depression aren’t a joke.
Point out everything you feel to your parents. Don’t beat around the bush, either. Tell them that you feel like this often. Tell them just how serious it is.
Hope that you get better. : )

 

[Were all together]

If you're feeling suicidal, then yes say something. It's not right to feel like taking your life. Doesn't mean you're crazy. But, you don't want to become severely depressed that it affects you into adulthood. If you get help now, you will be grateful later on. Keep us updated!

 

[may71]

Most of people think that it's normal for a teenager to have suicidal thoughts

It may be common for teenagers to feel suicidal, but there is nothing healthy or "ok" about it, as the word normal implies.

Lots of teenagers commit or attempt suicide. It's a serious problem, and should be taken seriously. Also, the fact that you are feeling so bad that you want to die is a serious problem whether you attempt or not.

Should I seek for professional help when my parents think I don't need that?

Often times people like to pretend that problems don't exist, because they're not emotionally prepared to face them. It sounds like that's the case with your parents.

Some form of treatment sounds like it would be a good idea. The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

You might be able to get treatment without your parents knowing, or without their consent.

If you are in the US or Canada, you might want to try calling 211 or visiting 211.org. They may have some suggestions about getting healthcare.

Do you have a relative that you trust, like a grandparent or an aunt, that you could possibly live with that would allow you to get treatment?

 

[Katejohsonrk800]

Most of people think that it's normal for a teenager to have suicidal thoughts.
I always feel suicidal, easy to feel depressed, since one and a half years ago when some classmates bullied me. Situation didn't improved when I graduated.
I cannot get along with others, I can't control my temper, since I was very young. So I have no friends. I tried to change that condition, but everytime I failed. I am lonely.
I don't want to feel the same when I become an adult. So I really wish to do something to change that.
Should I seek for professional help when my parents think I don't need that? I need some advice.
(it's not what I mentioned before when I was abroad, it's what I always feel these time.)
Thank you.

Hi, MelancholyRaven. I’m awfully sorry you’re feeling this way I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. I really do think that seeking professional help could possibly relieve some of these feelings...so if you’re up to it, I think you should urge your parents to help you out with that. If it’s not possible, perhaps there’s another trusted adult that you can reach out to, even if it’s a teacher or school counselor. If you’d ever like to talk to someone, feel free to message me. I’m a teen that’s dealt with my parents being the same way, even after months of therapy... I’m sending you love ❤️

 

[Callousgirl]

Most of people think that it's normal for a teenager to have suicidal thoughts.
I always feel suicidal, easy to feel depressed, since one and a half years ago when some classmates bullied me. Situation didn't improved when I graduated.
I cannot get along with others, I can't control my temper, since I was very young. So I have no friends. I tried to change that condition, but everytime I failed. I am lonely.
I don't want to feel the same when I become an adult. So I really wish to do something to change that.
Should I seek for professional help when my parents think I don't need that? I need some advice.
(it's not what I mentioned before when I was abroad, it's what I always feel these time.)
Thank you.

@MelancholyRaven

I am from a family with three daughters and no sons. I am the youngest of the three daughters, and with me and my sisters, we are less than four years apart in age. We are also, all of us, are bipolar and I did not get treatment for my condition until I was 18. I understand the feeling of being suicidal, being depressed, cannot controlling my temper, and having very few friends. Me, and my sisters had the same problem.

Sure, professional help does help. Still, you also have to engage the local community and be engaged in activities. You do not have to engage with all the activities, but, the more you interact with others: the social skills develop and you will find you can be happy.

 

[Raven]

Thank you for your practical reply.
I'm sorry that I didn't explain things clearly. I fact, I told my parents several times before.
That's really a painful experience, they didn't understand and even screamed at me. That makes me be afraid of getting help.
But only them are who I can ask for help at this moment. I just graduated from middle school. I will enter high school but now I'm on summer vocation. My country doesn't take students' mental health very seriously (They noticed the importance, but not act well). So I wish to found a charity organization about mental health and suicide prevention for my country when I grow up. That keeps me alive, but I must recover from that before doing this project.
So I wonder HOW I can get help, that's really difficult. Maybe I should wait for a chance.
Thanks.

 

[Were all together]

Can you tell us, what country you're from? Maybe we can find some resources for you. It's a shame, but many countries are still in the middle ages about mental health care. I urge you to keep trying to make friends. You can always come here, if you need advice. But, please keep talking and don't bottle up your feelings.

 

[Walker]

It is genuinely terrible that someone in your country attempts suicide every 2 minutes yet your parents don't listen to you, and yell at you, when you tell them you are this depressed. This must be a cultural thing that I cannot grasp here.
All I know is you have a lot of life ahead of you and SF will hang out with you for anything and everything, you know? We are here for you to talk or vent or answer your questions. We can't take the place of school or parents or friends but we can be a quiet listening ear for you. I hope you get some help from somewhere face to face.

 

[Raven]

After a very long time flight and a very long time journey, I'm home finally. Because of the slow network speed, I can hardly use the mobile chat. But, luckily,
I'm in China(I can't register in China, and I registered in the UK). @Were all together .
China has some useful resources about suicide prevention, but I can hardly find some articles for teens. I honestly think more efforts should be put in mental health in China, That's also what I want to do in the future. Thank you.
SF is useful, It helps people all over the world. And I will keep on posting if I have time. Thank you everyone!

 

[Raven]

After a very long time flight and a very long time journey, I'm home finally. Because of the slow network speed, I can hardly use the mobile chat. But, luckily,
I'm in China(I can't register in China, and I registered in the UK). @Were all together .
China has some useful resources about suicide prevention, but I can hardly find some articles for teens. I honestly think more efforts should be put in mental health in China, That's also what I want to do in the future. Thank you.
SF is useful, It helps people all over the world. And I will keep on posting if I have time. Thank you everyone!

I'm sorry. The first paragraph is a mistake because of the bad quality of the Internet. That's what I posted before. Please ignore that.

 

[may71]

So I wonder HOW I can get help

If your parents are resisting the idea of your getting treatment for your mental health, there may not be resistance to your seeing a doctor for your physical health.

So even if you don't have an physical health issues, if you pretend that you do, that can be a way you could see a doctor.

Generally speaking, telling the truth is the best thing, but in this case, getting potentially life-saving treatment is more important.

A doctor could give you conventional medication, but also China has an abundance of high-quality, low cost acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine. There's evidence that these traditional treatments work well for a variety of conditions, including mental health conditions.

So if you need your parents' consent in order to see a doctor, maybe you could tell them you've got lower back pain, or some other condition.

If you'd like, I may even be able to contact someone who could suggest what would be the most convincing cover story.

I hope that things can get better soon.

 

[Raven]

If your parents are resisting the idea of your getting treatment for your mental health, there may not be resistance to your seeing a doctor for your physical health.

So even if you don't have an physical health issues, if you pretend that you do, that can be a way you could see a doctor.

Generally speaking, telling the truth is the best thing, but in this case, getting potentially life-saving treatment is more important.

A doctor could give you conventional medication, but also China has an abundance of high-quality, low cost acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine. There's evidence that these traditional treatments work well for a variety of conditions, including mental health conditions.

So if you need your parents' consent in order to see a doctor, maybe you could tell them you've got lower back pain, or some other condition.

If you'd like, I may even be able to contact someone who could suggest what would be the most convincing cover story.

I hope that things can get better soon.

Thank you very much.
Telling an even"white lie"(can that count? I think that may good for me) is really a bit difficult for me, but I often have a headache in the afternoon. Can I use that thing as a way to get the treatment? And what should I say to explain my "real need" after going to see the doctor? Oh that may be a little hard...

 

[Brân]

If you feel like you need help, you most likely do - and it can't hurt. I think it's extremely mature to seek help vs what people are telling you. You'll do great, if you need anything, hit up my inbox

 

[may71]

Thank you very much

You're welcome!

I often have a headache in the afternoon. Can I use that thing as a way to get the treatment?

You could try that approach, but if you tell your parents that you often have an afternoon headache, they may tell you just take an aspirin, or deal with the pain.

Really, anything you give as an excuse to see the doctor is a white lie. You're trying to get potentially life-saving treatment, and they are failing to help you get that.

I'd recommend figuring out something that your parents wouldn't just brush off, and that would be convincing. There are a lot of factors to juggle here. Hopefully there is something that will persuade them, and that you feel comfortable telling them.

And what should I say to explain my "real need" after going to see the doctor?

I think it would be ok to tell the doctor your real reason for the visit during the appointment (assuming your parents won't be in the exam room with you).

 

[may71]

I think it's extremely mature to seek help

The problem seems to be that she has already told her parents about being depressed and suicidal, but they are refusing to let her get treatment.

 

[Raven]

Hi, MelancholyRaven. I’m awfully sorry you’re feeling this way I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you right now. I really do think that seeking professional help could possibly relieve some of these feelings...so if you’re up to it, I think you should urge your parents to help you out with that. If it’s not possible, perhaps there’s another trusted adult that you can reach out to, even if it’s a teacher or school counselor. If you’d ever like to talk to someone, feel free to message me. I’m a teen that’s dealt with my parents being the same way, even after months of therapy... I’m sending you love ❤️

@Katejohsonrk800 Thank you, just now I saw your caring words in the mobile chat. But I'm still on public access because I'm not enough 16 years old. That means I cannot send the "recent chat" in mobile chat. I should wait for next year when I'm 16 so I can PM.

@Lux, Since I'm on public access, I'm not sure if I can do that you said in your last sentence. About things in SF, I still have many thing to know. I feel much better now. I'm willing to get some help from you all. So Thank you very much.

 

[Raven]

Hello everyone, that's important to me.
Last night I couldn't sleep, and I was awake the whole night, with many thoughts ran through my mind, like a complete mess, I couldn't control that. I'm sorry this post maybe long. I thought about my parents and why they didn't give me the help I need. I think they have tried their best to help me. Suicidal thoughts make them scared so they act in that way. They don't want to see me suffering so they are also in pain. They always say something like:"Stop thinking that (damn thing), I don't know how to do. You can only deal with it yourself!" Because they really don't know. And I shouldn't blame them for this, because they don't have the experience of being suicidal, unlike many of yours' parents. But they love me, just don't know what they should do, or maybe they are so worried. I can still remember when I'm in grade 9, my mom screamed at me:"You want to die, then just do that! Kill yourself! After that I'll do the same thing!" At that moment I was so afraid and...after all, I began to know that for a parent, when your only child want to leave this world, leave them, how that feelings can be. That pain may can't describe by words, I guess.
I read a quote in Chinese before. I forget which foreign philosopher said that, suicidal thoughts is a relief because you know when life become hard you have a chance to end it.(That's the mean idea, I don't know the original sentence.) But for me, suicidal thoughts only bring me two things. One is creativity in writing, another is pain. It will never be a relief for me, because I know what I NEED to do in the future. That's my dream and my aim to help others who feel the same way, if I can go over all these things. So I shouldn't commit suicide, never. But about 4am last night, I thought about to give up it all. I even planned the place and the method. That's so terrible I don't want to feel that way! So I didn't fall asleep the whole night! And I need some help. (At least I made My Safety Plan when I was not feeling so bad.) I still know I SHOULDN'T commit suicide now. So It seems not a crisis.
Thank you for your patience to read part of my thoughts. I'm not sure if Empathy Only is more suitable now?

 

[may71]

Hey Raven,

Thank you

You're welcome!

I'm not sure if Empathy Only is more suitable now?

It's ok to ask for whatever kind of support that you want.

I could try to give some different advice if you still want advice, but if you don't want advice anymore, a mod might be willing to lock the thread.

I'm glad you feel like your parents love you, even though they may not be good at dealing with the fact that you are feeling suicidal.

Wishing you good things.

 

[Raven]

Hey Raven,

You're welcome!

It's ok to ask for whatever kind of support that you want.

I could try to give some different advice if you still want advice, but if you don't want advice anymore, a mod might be willing to lock the thread.

I'm glad you feel like your parents love you, even though they may not be good at dealing with the fact that you are feeling suicidal.

Wishing you good things.

Yes, only advice can help me deal with my problem. Your advice is well worth a try! I still welcome advice, and thank you for your good wish.