i appreciate your kind words. i have never been able to look in the mirror and not loath who i see. i have recently learned why, and i know it will be a very long process to undo nearly 52 yrs of it... that is if you can teach an old dog new tricks. i am using up what little hope i have been able to muster up on finding a therapist. There's not enough left over for positivity towards myself. Because right now... positivity towards myself IS fiction!
Yes, it can be helped. Undone entirely, could take some time of course. But like with any other significant problem, or in this case - condition - that is affecting your health, and has been for a very long time. Anything you can do, to first put a stop to the damage that has incurred, or is continuing to occur, is & can only be - a "good thing," in my book! Now, I'd read something before, about being uncertain or having a nervous little fear inside you, for the first time ever, maybe. . in terms of just, entering into that vastly wild territory of the unknown (w/the pursuit of therapy). And I'm just hear to tell you--that once you've cleared that hurdle, and crossed that barrier or threshold, then all will seem fine & well. As in relaxed & calm. At least in so far as, what I can only imagine or guess, is troubling you know, with this whole, fear or uncertainty over that which you can't/or cannot control. And also then, do not know! : ) So I will just say this: I shall try my best; since you say it is a very hard thing for you to do now, and in this given state (which is by all-means, more than "fair enough!"). So this will just be seen as based on what I have observed of you, in your time her on or in: SF-Land! ; )
1.) Exceptional/Outstanding "Character," or... Exemplary; as in, 'The Best!'
2.) Very Savvy; Extra-ordinary TASTE, when it comes to deciding both what to/& not to: "Say."
3.) HILARIOUS. Very Personable. Easy to talk to(o?). Her comedy has a great depth, & range, to it~
4.) Very Perceptive. Has Great Tact. Is Extremely Intellectual. Sound Mind/Wise Logic, etc.
5.) A Caring, Concerned & Compassionate Individual; One Who(m?) Posses Much Instinct . . . When it comes to the profound needs of the rest of us here in this, well this, 'Place.' I guess... : )