disappointed in myself

[ElleisForLisa]

Thank you for reaching out. It's hard but a part of me wants to believe it can maybe still happen. And I'm not quite at six years yet. If I continue with sobriety February will mark six for me.

It’s sad because it’s really is one of the HARDEST things to believe and tell yourself (in my experience) but it’s true just stick around and see. Well your almost at 6 and that’s kick ass. Give yourself that much deserved credit every day we get through without is almost too overlooked when you’re over a couple years (again I’m my experience I don’t know for you) it’s something that can pop out at any moment and the fact you can say you’re going on 6 years, I’m really happy for you but I understand life is unpredictable and can be complete shit and I’m sorry you’re wondering if you’ll make your next sobriety date.

 

[sadhart]

I have tried so hard to make the most of this time off from work. And in some ways I think I did okay with it. But I am hurting so much right now. I saw something that just made me realize that no amount of being productive really matters at the end of the day. It all just feels like some kind of farce. Not looking forward to the new year because from past experience things tend to start getting worse whenever I feel I am moving in a forward direction.

 

[may71]

I saw something that just made me realize that no amount of being productive really matters at the end of the day.

Do you want to say what that is?

 

[sadhart]

Do you want to say what that is?

It's just various things I've mentioned previously. I don't know what I can really do differently in my life for things to feel a little less hopeless.

 

[iloverachel]

Happy new years my friend
I hope the next year you feel better than you did this year, and that you find the right people to feel less alone and more happy

 

[sadhart]

Happy new years my friend
I hope the next year you feel better than you did this year, and that you find the right people to feel less alone and more happy

Thank you. Same to you as well.

 

[Survivorist]

Well as for me - I am proud of you. 6 years sober. Congrats on that. You think you are lonely, different? Good - it means you are somehow not part of this materialistic, unfair, shitty world without pity around us - and I think you are really quite strong and smart. I am pretty sure if alcohol and cigarettes would be invented now - they would all be under the same prescription rules as morphine - highly toxic.

I hope you have a nice X mas. Long hot bath, apartment clean, something nice to eat... A hot chocolate...?

Greetings from ES.