I live my last weeks/months. Im 26, and I cant live till 27, not 30. When I was 20, Ive gaved myself a deadline: find happiness till 30 or die. 3 years ago I started realising that its hard to live 5-6 years in misery. 2 years ago, I realised that. Less than 1 year ago ive made my decision: I cant live like this. Something really really beautifull will happen in very close future, for the first time in my life, or Ill die soon.