Dont Belong Here

[ThornThatNeverHeals]

Ill wander the forums for hours reading threads of people and posting thoughs every once in a long while. ill go into chat, ill try to talk, but if i do i seem to get an anxiety attack. I try to make friends, but it seems like they wander away, and its hard when the close friends you have you care about so much you dont want to hurt by telling them the truth of how you feel, how You want to die so much, that you SI'ed again last night though you promised you would try to be safe... I dont feel i belong here, I cant fit in with the people, and the few people i fit in with i seem to hurt in the long run. people say it gets better, but ive given it 5 years, and its only gotten worse. I see people older than my parents on here who still hurt like hell.... does anyone else feel lost, lonely, outcast, a loner, and just plain like they dont belong and should leave?

 

[AlienBeing]

Why don't you come over to Mad Season if you don't feel like you can make friends here? It's a much smaller, much friendlier place. I only come here when Mad Season is a little slow.

 

[#18]

I feel lost but I haven't been here for that long... In general I've always been kind of a loner :sleepy: I'm not going to leave though, you never know who you might meet on here or anywhere for that matter. Like with all things, it just takes time.

 

[total eclipse]

Hi hun believe or not i always feel isolated like i don't fit in too. I do hope you know any of you can pm me any time talk vent I have anxiety attacks to in chat i just fee so anxious crazy eh I think in time once you find a few connections that will help hugs to you

 

[hornbeam]

Hi Thorn I am sorry you feel you dont have a place here. You dont owe anyone else an explanation as to how you feel at any time but I would like you to keep trying for help.

You mentioned there are older people on the forum of which I am one. I can tell you I havent felt bad and depressed all my life - Ive had periods of feeling well - just about the same time as you 5 years I have been feeling very bad -

I hope you will keep on doing your best at keeping going - I know its hard but I believe we can all get through this and owe it to others to prove we can- I wish you the very best. H. and sending hugs as well..

 

[Angie]

Thorn :hug:

I am sorry that you feel so anxious in chat. When you first joined, you seemed less so anxious. Did something happen to make you feel that way?

Yes, people do come and go and it does hurt when they go, but there are many reasons that happens.

I know you've been through a lot, and are in pain. And I have been there too, and as you pointed out there are older members who still deal with pain. However, it hasn't been all the time, and with treatment I've gotten better.

Feel free to pm me if you would like, if there is some way I can help.

You do belong anywhere you would like and certainly do so here.

:hug:

 

[pppqp]

Thorn, even we didn't talk much, I felt less lonely to have you in chat room :hug:

 

[ThornThatNeverHeals]

Thanks guys, and tex- after taking crap from some people on here, and then being backstabbed in real life, it makes it a bit harder to be social and talk to people. Makes ya a bit more nervous around people.

 

[Angie]

I am sorry Thorn, that should never happen on here, we get enough crap in real life.

I will be happy to help with any problems in chat at any time.

:hug:

 

[ThornThatNeverHeals]

the problem with asking for help is that it never seems to help, it only makes it all that much worse, and stressful. Bearing the pain works better, crazy as it sounds, maby thats why i am how i am. such an idiot.

 

[Kiba]

You are not an idiot.. Some people I think are more safe to ask for help from then others. Just need to find the ppl who will treat u right and help you.. not hurt you.. And I guess who to trust. :hug:

I care about you and want you to start being able to feel a bit better. And you know, things can get better over time. Things certainly have got a lot better for me, and I know they can for you.

Just gota hold on. Stick together here with all us. You do belong here.

 

[ThornThatNeverHeals]

thanks sis :unsure: