Due to events described in my last thread https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/out-of-control-rock-bottom.143044/#post-1627628, I don't know if I can make it through.
I am so ashamed and horrified something bad will happen I can't function. The woman and I were on a messaging app and I deleted it hoping she would get the message. I re-installed it yesterday (OCD-"checking") and she had casually messaged me on this past Wednesday. I tried hard to hint I may not be back on, but in the end she said "ttyl."
I called the suicide hotline today and the guy told me maybe I should try to let her know I can't carry on any further contact. I'm so horrified because she's married/knows where I live. I don't know how she will take it if I drop contact.
The guilt and shame won't stop eating me. I'm afraid I'm totally broken and beyond repair.
If you read this and can offer anything, please do.
I'm in desperate need.
I am so ashamed and horrified something bad will happen I can't function. The woman and I were on a messaging app and I deleted it hoping she would get the message. I re-installed it yesterday (OCD-"checking") and she had casually messaged me on this past Wednesday. I tried hard to hint I may not be back on, but in the end she said "ttyl."
I called the suicide hotline today and the guy told me maybe I should try to let her know I can't carry on any further contact. I'm so horrified because she's married/knows where I live. I don't know how she will take it if I drop contact.
The guilt and shame won't stop eating me. I'm afraid I'm totally broken and beyond repair.
If you read this and can offer anything, please do.
I'm in desperate need.