Eh... Does this count as "rape"?

[Ange]

So I was "sexually abused" by my cousins when I was 10 (I'm 18 now). At the time they were already teens, that was the first time I had sex in my life. I still didn't knew how it worked and after I asked them in a weird talk (induced maliciously by themselves) they said they would show it to me how it was done, so I played along. One of them was a girl, and the other, a boy (they were siblings). So they "showed" me how to do it with both girls and boys in all possible ways. Although I felt weird (ok, maybe really weird) and a little painful at first, it was good later (ok, really good). After this first experience I had sex a ton of other times with them again and some other cousins (I had a lot at the time). By the age of 11 I was so used to women that seeing them naked didn't get me aroused anymore, this goes on until today. I never really gave much thought about this, but when I grew older I randomly remembered about that someday and realized I was probably raped... Then I did nothing, and nothing happened to me, except that I developed a weird sexual complex with my appearance.

And so I wasn't actually forced to do it but... well, the true nature of this events have always confused me a little.

 

[nobodyknows71]

The fact that you were only ten and under the age of consent means it was rape.
You were far too young to know what was happening, so unable to know it was wrong.
If I have any advice, it would be to seek counselling to help you deal this.

Keep posting

 

[Ange]

If I have any advice, it would be to seek counselling to help you deal this.

To be honest, I don't think this was so bad. I actually don't care about it in fact, it just happened and nobody got hurt nor messed up, except for my complex that ins't enterely linked to that.

 

[nobodyknows71]

To be honest, I don't think this was so bad. I actually don't care about it in fact, it just happened and nobody got hurt nor messed up, except for my complex that ins't enterely linked to that.

I beg to differ. The fact you're here asking the question says to me you care and it was bad.
You got hurt and messed up and that's not ok.
Do you think maybe your complex could have stemmed from this? Even if not entirely?
In which case it matters!!

 

[Ange]

Look, I got shot in the torso 3 times, got stabbed in the same place at least a dozen times, got beaten up so hard that I would pass out ridiculous amount of times, was pushed to suicide through mental torture everyday for 18 years straigh, and recently lost to death the only pearson I loved and trusted. Getting "raped" was literally the least of my worries, compared to all else this was nothing.

 

[nobodyknows71]

Or maybe it was the start of them.

I'm bowing out now as we clearly disagree.
Your title asked for opinions, I gave mine. We don't have to agree. If you want me to input further just say and I will happily converse with you more.
As a victim of sexual abuse from a family member when I was just a bit younger than you were I can/tried to identify with your situation. I'm now 46 and have only just in the last year addressed and accepted what happened to me.

No judgement, but if you wanna talk more feel free to ask, anytime.

Keep posting and maybe you'll get more replies.

Take care