It was a glorious day. The sun blazed from a cloudless blue sky as you and some friends set off on a drive to the coast, a spontaneous, spur of the moment decision. I picture you smiling and happy as you drive along without a care in the world, music blaring from the open windows as cool air breezed in. I see the heat haze rising from the road ahead as the dazzling ocean, sparkling like bubbling champagne, comes into view.
Later that night you left ******* to walk the short distance home. It had been another fun filled day that summer of sunshine, laughter and the company of friends and family, but now at 11 pm you felt tired. It was raining heavily now and you quickened your pace as you walked towards the main highway. Reaching the curb, you spotted a friend hurrying ahead on the other side and called to him to stop while you caught up with him. He turned round to see you step off the curb, then there was a screech of brakes and then nothing.
It has been ***** years since you were struck and killed by a speeding car that came out of nowhere on an empty road in the pouring rain. It was said later the rain was tears from heaven and you were singing Angels by Robbie Williams before you stepped out. I see you now as fate approached, singing about angels watching over you and about knowing you were blessed by love. I contemplate your final moments and hope you looked above and knew you were not forsaken. The thought, although bittersweet, is comforting.
Whenever I think of you and what happened that night, I find myself talking to you as if you were still around, as if you can hear me, as if you are still aware. In the waves of shock and devastation that hit after that terrible night, I struggled with the fact that someone so vibrant with life and with so much living still to be done, could be torn away in a heartbeat by the unpredictable and cruel hand of fate. It was as if a light had gone out and I was groping in the dark for some explanation that would make sense of the senseless.
As I sit here thinking of you again in silence, I sense you are listening, but from somewhere beyond this universe and beyond sadness and pain. In my mind's eye, you are forever radiant with youth and happiness, but still I wonder if I am deceiving myself and the connection I feel with you is only imaginary. Could it just be that the human mind cannot grasp the the terrible finality of death, and with it the ultimate meaninglessness of life, the universe and everything in it, including our hopes, loves, hates and fears? Is belief in eternal life and an end to all suffering just a fantasy born of fear and hope, created by the mind to avoid the truth that everything comes from nothing and ends in nothing?
Belief in a life after the present one cannot be proven or disproven and is a matter of faith. However it could be that the facts are kind and faith can take us where reason cannot. One of the greatest scientists of the twentieth century, Werner Heisenberg, urged us to revere the "things that are beyond science that matter" . As a co-founder of quantum mechanics, the most successful scientific theory to date, he drew attention to the "penetrating clarity" of colleagues who focused on creating scientific descriptions of the world, but neglected the creative mind or spirit which produces them. As he wrote, " behind this outward display of criticism and scepticism (lies) concealed a deep philosophical interest in those dark areas of reality, of the human soul, which elude the grasp of reason".
As I picture you now I see you as you were in the life I know, and I realise that faith is a choice. The question is not why should we believe what reason does not force us to believe, but why, in the absence of certain knowledge, some prefer to assume the worst outcome and others the best. While it may be argued we should face reality as it is and avoid delusions, however comforting they may be, it is the very uncertainty of knowledge about the nature of reality that makes hope of life after death possible. Those who choose to assume the best have nothing to lose except fear and a sense of emptiness and meaninglessness even if their faith and hope turns out to be unjustified.
Contemplating your final happy, carefree day of sunshine and laughter, and your final moments as you walked singing of angels to your uncontemplated fate, I know all the hopes and dreams of humanity may end in nothing, but also that if nothing awaits us at death, we will not know it and need not fear it if we have faith.
Later that night you left ******* to walk the short distance home. It had been another fun filled day that summer of sunshine, laughter and the company of friends and family, but now at 11 pm you felt tired. It was raining heavily now and you quickened your pace as you walked towards the main highway. Reaching the curb, you spotted a friend hurrying ahead on the other side and called to him to stop while you caught up with him. He turned round to see you step off the curb, then there was a screech of brakes and then nothing.
It has been ***** years since you were struck and killed by a speeding car that came out of nowhere on an empty road in the pouring rain. It was said later the rain was tears from heaven and you were singing Angels by Robbie Williams before you stepped out. I see you now as fate approached, singing about angels watching over you and about knowing you were blessed by love. I contemplate your final moments and hope you looked above and knew you were not forsaken. The thought, although bittersweet, is comforting.
Whenever I think of you and what happened that night, I find myself talking to you as if you were still around, as if you can hear me, as if you are still aware. In the waves of shock and devastation that hit after that terrible night, I struggled with the fact that someone so vibrant with life and with so much living still to be done, could be torn away in a heartbeat by the unpredictable and cruel hand of fate. It was as if a light had gone out and I was groping in the dark for some explanation that would make sense of the senseless.
As I sit here thinking of you again in silence, I sense you are listening, but from somewhere beyond this universe and beyond sadness and pain. In my mind's eye, you are forever radiant with youth and happiness, but still I wonder if I am deceiving myself and the connection I feel with you is only imaginary. Could it just be that the human mind cannot grasp the the terrible finality of death, and with it the ultimate meaninglessness of life, the universe and everything in it, including our hopes, loves, hates and fears? Is belief in eternal life and an end to all suffering just a fantasy born of fear and hope, created by the mind to avoid the truth that everything comes from nothing and ends in nothing?
Belief in a life after the present one cannot be proven or disproven and is a matter of faith. However it could be that the facts are kind and faith can take us where reason cannot. One of the greatest scientists of the twentieth century, Werner Heisenberg, urged us to revere the "things that are beyond science that matter" . As a co-founder of quantum mechanics, the most successful scientific theory to date, he drew attention to the "penetrating clarity" of colleagues who focused on creating scientific descriptions of the world, but neglected the creative mind or spirit which produces them. As he wrote, " behind this outward display of criticism and scepticism (lies) concealed a deep philosophical interest in those dark areas of reality, of the human soul, which elude the grasp of reason".
As I picture you now I see you as you were in the life I know, and I realise that faith is a choice. The question is not why should we believe what reason does not force us to believe, but why, in the absence of certain knowledge, some prefer to assume the worst outcome and others the best. While it may be argued we should face reality as it is and avoid delusions, however comforting they may be, it is the very uncertainty of knowledge about the nature of reality that makes hope of life after death possible. Those who choose to assume the best have nothing to lose except fear and a sense of emptiness and meaninglessness even if their faith and hope turns out to be unjustified.
Contemplating your final happy, carefree day of sunshine and laughter, and your final moments as you walked singing of angels to your uncontemplated fate, I know all the hopes and dreams of humanity may end in nothing, but also that if nothing awaits us at death, we will not know it and need not fear it if we have faith.
