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fat shaming!

Freya

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#21
Hence why I said Most people are fat because they eat too much. Logically, that means not all

And when it comes to saying something, I'm not talking about strangers. We don't know what's up with them(although the vast majority of the time it's due to eating too much). But if it's people we know very well, or it's ourselves, and we know they or we eat way too much & never go for a jog, is it really so unreasonable to point out to that putting down the fork and going for a run might be a better idea? And if anyone needs that much food to feel 'comforted' they need to see a therapist. Find a healthier way to comfort yourself.

Sure, be as overweight as you want. I just hope you don't find yourself crying to a friend about how no one will date you while helping yourself to a third piece of cake. I had a friend come over with that story and I couldn't stop laughing.
Hey - sorry if it seemed I was poking at your response. I was just giving my own opinion and voicing my own experience. I think that if there is a sincere belief that the person you know and care about isn't already aware that they should stop eating as much and/or engage in some exercise then suggesting they do is not fat shaming, it is concern and advice. I think, equally, if someone is expressing that they don't know why they are always sore / out of breath / can't sleep / insert some other thing here that is weight relevant, then I think that making a suggestion is not fat shaming, it is advice.

I am considering 'fat shaming' to be the people that stand behind you in a line at KFC at 10pm when you have got off one train and are about to get on another on the way home from a day where the last time you had time to eat was breakfast at 7am and loudly 'suggest' that you should get a salad or skip the meal. Or when your colleague suggests suddenly 'hey you should get the stairs to the 8th floor, you could use the exercise' with no clue how much exercise you may or may not have done, whether such activity might injure you given your current weight, or any consideration for the fact that as a 300lb asthmatic, an 8-floor climb will certainly leave you in no fit state for a client meeting.

I also think that 'it is because they eat too much' is obvious but ignores the why of eating too much. The 'you're fat because you eat too much' isn't helpful either. I knew I was fat because I was eating too much. What 'too much' was may have been different at different times due to thyroid issues and medication, but if you are gaining weight past a healthy point then irrespective of how much it is, it is probably, medically speaking, too much. I was fat because I was eating too much - I would hope it is apparant that I am intelligent enough to have known that. The key was not why I was fat, it was why I was persistently eating more than my body required. You could argue that was my choice. Nobody was forcing me to eat. But whether or not something is a choice is a whole other thread, I think.

My point was that for me. personally, all the 'helpful' advice in the world would have made no difference. I only got rid of the weight when food stopped being the only good thing in my life. I agree that therapy would have been beneficial but since even if I had stopped paying for food entirely it would not have added up to enough money for private therapy and that certainly was not going to happen on the NHS, it was not an option.

My position is not 'it is never okay to comment on someone's weight or eating habits' it is that most of the time it is unsolicited and/or unhelpful. If someone is not in a position to know what the problem is then they should keep their unsolicited 'help' to themselves. If it is solicited, if it is someone you know well, if it is borne of a genuine desire to help, then it isn't fat shaming so it isn't applicable.

And fwiw I don't consider it rude and shallow to insinuate that someone can't get a date because they are overweight. I consider it to be a statistical likelihood. Whether or not I agree it should make a difference is irrelevant to the fact that it does. The fact that someone decided that didn't matter and loved me anyway doesn't eradicate the fact that most people have preferences and most people prefer someone that is a healthy weight.
 

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#22
There is a Danish tvshow for adolescents with a focus on body perception etc.

Recently the show had 11-13 year old kids sit in a studio in front of adults who were naked, allowed to ask any questions they wanted and touted as a way to combat social media perceptions of perfect bodies and looks. There has been some negative articles and reactions abroad due to the nudity and so I went to read NYT's article about it.

Checking the comment section was mostly a positive experience where people were impressed with that sense of body positivity it tried to bring across but I got a little bit sad when I started reading comments about how showing ordinary people, thick and thin, was an acceptance of being overweight and in bad shape and some thinking it was wrong to show people who were overweight, tattooed etc. It really struck me as odd as how some could see a nude body being okay to look at but only as long as it was a slim fit body. I thought that said a lot about some people's perception and was astonished they couldn't see that acceptance of reality and dismantling shame of our own bodies was the essence of the program.

(The article mentioned https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/18/world/europe/denmark-children-nudity-sex-education.html )
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#23
heads up my comment has no relation at all, so honestly there was a time in school where i was my sister that i wanted to fillet my thighs,well i still get that feeling time to time. with a rush of adrenaline, andalmost drool its a sign of psychosis, sign that feeling goes away when i cut chicken. but she took that as me feeling bad about my thighs well ido need to exercise since having larger thighs makes it a pain to walk but its all good.
 
#24
Some believe that making overweight people feel ashamed of their weight or eating habits may motivate them to get healthier. However, scientific evidence confirms that nothing could be further from the truth. Instead of motivating people, fat-shaming makes them feel terrible about themselves, causing them to eat more and gain more weight.
 

BeardyStu

Active Member
#25
I had/have weight problems and often people took the piss. if anyone ridiculed someone for being overweight they should just respond with a simple 'fuck off". That's what I'll do next time.
 

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